I'm Not Alone Cause the TV is on yeah...

So Saturday night turned out better than I thought it would. I was kind of leary I don't know why but I was. I actually had a pretty good time. Makes me want to hangout with more people....gah! Ah well soon enough I suppose. But one thing I've realized is that I definately am average. I'm not super nerdy but I'm not super anything else either. I just kind of mesh with everyone. Which is why I need a boy who's kind of like me...and there is this one guy yes the one I've liked forever now...and he's taken and that makes me sad. But...there's still hope right? ha. I don't know I just feel like I have the most in common with that guy....

I also...want a video camera..to like chronicle things. Just like random video blogs. Be like hey you know what, let's talk to the camera today and see what comes out. Unfortunately getting a decent video camera is pretty low on the list of things to purchase. haha. Well....you know my potential Mac book Pro comes first...^_^. See...a bit nerdy just like my new facebook/myspace pic. I cropped myself out of a group shot...I must've been looking at someone because I definately wasn't facing the camera ha. Plus the striped sweater that makes me look kinda chunky munky cuz I'm sitting and it scrunches up when I do that, when I stand it excentuates the good features if you know what I mean haha. And then the chucks...yep. Indie Nerd....very Seth Cohen. haha. I just needed skinny jeans and curly hair, and you know a sweater without the collar.

This is the last 35 minutes of 2007, all I have to say is that 2007 had it's rough patches....but I'd have to say it rates extremely better than 2005 and 2006. I'm hoping that 2008 will only be better. After all...no matter what, I'll be turning 18, and.....getting out of high school! Yes! Happy New Year Everyone!

Breathe....

I have a lot I want to blog about but the major thing is school next year...more about last night tommorrow maybe.

I just really need either an acceptance or rejection letter from BSU to come. All this waiting is driving me crazy. I keep reading everywhere I've gotten into like 5 schools already. I'm going shit man...I've only applied to one and I have no clue as to what I'm going to do if I don't get in. Then to top it all off I'm reading all over that the field I want to get into basically has like no jobs haha. So....that's making me question everything. If I change my major plans, then....well my parents might make me stay home and I really want to going away to college experience. I think I might just go insane too...plus then I'd HAVE to get a car and pay ungodly prices for gas and my own insurance. Ehhh.

My mind is a mess full of future decisions, which is why I need a letter. I need it...gah. I figure I'll major in T-Com and if I have to get another job after college and try to score some internships or something I don't know. We'll see. I wish I was 10 again. Anyways I'm going to go watch The Amazing Race.

This December Won't Be So Lonely...Anymore.

So I showered and attempted to straighten my hair again this morning. Gah...I think I'm going to give up on this whole straightening thing until I get some layers put into my hair. Right now it's just thick and horrible. It needs thinned out some. Plus when player laser tag I tend to get hot haha...so I just threw it up after all of that. I did spend about a half an hour on it though this time...eh. I'm too lazy to spend loads of time on my hair. Plus I blowed dried a bit first because the goop I put in says that'll make it work even better, all it did was make my hair sorta frizzy...and puffy. I think I'll pass on that step from now on. Plus I don't like the texture of my hair after I do all this shit to it....I don't want to fry my hair and have it stop growing....gah.

Anyways, my stomach is kind of janky right now. It's like blah. So...I don't know if it's hungry or if I'm coming down with something or if it's just being a bitch. I'm hoping I'm not sick because I really doooo want to go play laser tag...I haven' t played since my freshmen year...which is entirely too long ago. Plus I hate stomach illnesses period.

OH! and I woke up to find I have this weirdo rash under my arm....god guys, I'm falling apart, not to mention my left shoulder has been hurting again...grr. Stupid thing kept me awake for awhile last night it hurt so bad. Trouble is, nobody believes me. Maybe because I have too many aches and pains? Getting old sucks.

So...I've been busy though this morning, I did dishes, I played a game of dominos and lost, showered, ate an orange...and it's not even noon yet...and I got up around 9:30 so yes. I think I'm going to go lie down or somethng...maybe eat some saltines?

Still Waiting...

Today I was playing Bingo and listening to music when I had an idea for either a short story/ music video thing. That I kind of want to pursue, but I don't know we'll see. Sometimes I think like that and when I try to sit down and write it out, I never can. We'll see, I still have a week of break left to piddle around with. Of course I'm supposed to be hanging out with Joshers sometime in there but we'll see.

Tommorrow is laser tag with Casey and friends for his birthday. That really makes me want to do something for my birthday with my friends. It'd be the first time ever in my almost 18 years of existance. I guess we'll see, I need more cash for the things I want to do. Why is Senior year so damn expensive? haha. I should keep my mouth shut though because I haven't hit college yet and that's going to really clean me out. Still waiting for that acceptance letter though...heh. I did fill out one scholarship today though, so goooo me.

I really don't have anything else to say.....I think I'm going to go see what's on the farmer five and attempt to write.

So...

Head over to the Myspace Blog for my Top 10 Albums of the year with pictures! haha. I'm too lazy to put it on here, so if you really want to know head over to my myspace and check out the blog. It's public so you don't have to have a myspace or anything.

Samsungs Suck.

Samsung DVD players that is. I turned the stupid thing on around 11:30 ish, and it finally loaded around 1 but I had to eat so I just let an episode run. I come back go to the menu to try and restart and it locks up...so I have to take the disc out and put it back in...stupid piece of crap won't load the stupid disc. GAH! I just want to watch my 4 episodes of ER man...

Anyways, I hope everyone had a good holiday! I got.....a straightener....I used it for the 1st time today and damn my hair looks decent for once. It's not all lopesided and extremely puffy ect. Plus people say it takes like an hour? Not for me, It was 15 minutes tops. The longest part was waiting for my hair to dry because blow drying takes forever with my hair...so I just let it naturally dry. And getting to the back was hard for me...but I think I'll get better at it. I also think that maybe in a month or so I'm going to get my hair cut and get more layers in it....not much shorter...just a trim and layers. Anyways, I also got lottso candy..haha. Plus a watch...that I probably won't wear..it's not...me. And...I got a bag for gym class..to haul my stuff and I think that'll work well. Well I got that last night but still haha. Plus I got a tar-jay giftcard and some cash....so the only thing I need now is a pair of gym shoes for gym class.

My mom wants me to fill out more scholarships but I really just want to kick back and hangout over break. I guess I'd be more motivated if I had been actually accepted into Ball State but I haven't heard anything yet from them and I'm actually getting worried and thinking the worst like....god what if they lost my ap...or the counselor part? gah! So I don't know, maybe next week? lol.

Ah well I think I'll go wait for my stupid freakin' DVD to load or throw the player out the window....haha. Everybody chip in 5 bucks and by Sarah a nice new progressive scan DVD player for her Birthday...you have 3 months.....Go!

T'was The Night...

So...it's Christmas Eve. I'm sitting here waiting for a DVD to load, I never should've turned that stupid player off...grr. Ah oh well, I have a belly full of delicious chili oh yes. I'll be eating it like for the next week or so for lunches. I love the stuff though so that doesn't bother me at all.

I wrapped gifts today. My wrapping skills have improved some but I still suck. I get frustrated with it so I just scrunch stuff up and plaster some tape on haha. Tommorrow is Christmas...and I don't know, I was more excited I think...last week than I am today. Today it just like heh....whatever, another day, another family gathering, another chance to pick up some wierd ass illness from my cousins. Plus, get this...that side of the family has all been exposed to TB....so I may have to get a TB shot...oh jou..heh. I thought I was done with shots for awhile after I got my menigitis shot. Merry Christmas Sarah, here's a TB shot. I told my Mom to ask my Aunt to get us surgical masks....but nobody ever takes me seriously when I say stuff like that. Ah oh well. It's only my health right? I have no clue as to what I may be getting....well I do...from the extended family. I got my 50 dollar Savings Bond in the mail today from my Grandpa...I have 17 of those now. Which isn't a bad thing. Then we'll also get some rinky-dink toy that I'm too old for, and a piece of fruit and nuts. Then from my other Grandparents I'll get either a mall giftcard or cash just because they always say every year that they don't know what size I am or what I like...which is A-OK with me. Then we get assorted food things from the Uncle with all the cousins...that are like diseased. haha. Then from my other Aunt and Uncle we usually get a family game or something like that. We started doing family gifts after the 5th or 6th kid that my Aunt popped out....we're up to 8 now. So it's a little pricy to buy 8 kids gifts along with everyone else. Then maybe if we're lucky we'll get giftcards from the Aunt who we don't see much anymore...well I see Nick...but we do go to school together and are locker buddies. I gave him cookies...so maybe I should at the very least expect cookies back? That'd be just fine with me.

Ah oh well...Merry Christmas Everyone! And if you don't celebrate Christmas then Happy Holidays!

I Fucked Someone With Words....

It's been a productive week. The only productive things I have left to do this week are filling out my Pre-Calc notecard, taking my Pre-Calc final, and...yeah.

I made cookies today to hand out to friends/locker buddy at school tommorrow. Plus I'm making Black Beans and Rice in Foods class. By the way Corn Beef and Cabbage is pretty dang tasty so don't go eww...give it a chance.

I have not acted on the situation previously mentioned besides actually communicating with that person today....not that I've gotten any form of communication back from them though. Oh well. I'm hungry.

I went to Christmas shopping tonight. Yep. Bought some nifty stuff for people, that they'll actually use. Food makes great gifts people haha. Anyways enough procrastinating...I need to get that notecard done...so I can eat and then go shower and then crash early again tonight because that was like heaven in a blanket last night.

Oh yeah, B.A.R.T. stands for Bay Area Rapid Transit. Yeah the kids in Econ call me the computer and are amazed by my useless random knowledge of things. Dum Dum Suckers are made in Bryan, Ohio too, incase you were wondering.

It's Kind of Like....

Breaking up, except that we're not going out. I almost feel like I need to make a definte end to the whole friendship. How do you end a friendship anyways? How you do you keep them from asking questions? How do you get over it? Is is this something I'm going to regret? Yes....probably to the last one. But I'm about 95% sure I need to do this. But I feel like I need to explain myself and not just say you know what...I can't do this anymore. I can't be friends with you. I don't want to talk to you anymore and I don't want to hangout with you. Even though without you I'll be a complete mess. But you don't realize that the closer I get the more dangerous it is....for me anyways. I get more attached and that's not a good thing because then it's harder to let go. Maybe I should just say it like that and he'll be left going "What the Hell just happened?"

I don't know...we'll see what happens. If worse comes to worse, I have my buddy Michelle who seems to do all my dirty work concerning boys for me. She's 3 years younger than me...they have no clue as to who she is and she's not afraid to let them have it haha. I just don't think I can end this relationship through a nasty email this time. Because I really don't have anything nasty to say to him. But I'd say some stuff that'd make things really ackward and the state of the friendship would most likely decline anyways so I might as well end it right?

God this is going to be hard.

Let Me Slip Away....I'm Barely Holding On.

I don't think I should've gotten out of be this morning. I've only awaken to bad things. First I flip on the TV and school is closed. Fuck now we have to make up a day and that throws everything off. Plus I hurt all over. Not to mention when I found this out I was cranky anyways because I had trouble sleeping last night. I did go back to sleep only to find some other shit out and now I'm just really pissed/upset. So whatever.

I'm done. Done with him. I've decided I need to stop talking to him otherwise I'm just going to string myself out on this false hope. So I may as well just end this whole sham today. Who am I kidding anyways? I can't be in a relationship with anyone anyways...I'm not stable enough for that. One day I'm fine and happy and the next it's the complete opposite. Besides what's so great about me anyways? I'm pretty damn boring if you ask me.

I just need high school to be over. I need to get out of here. I need to leave all this shit behind. Here's to getting out of this place, and cutting yourself off from someone who you thought cared.

Can't We Just Dissappear?

"This is where I say I've had enough

and no one should ever feel the way that I feel now.

A walking open wound,a trophy display of bruises

and I don't believe that I'm getting any better, any better.

Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring

and I'm thinking awful things

and I'm pretty sure that few would notice.

And this apartmentis starving for an argument.

Anything at all to break the silence.Wandering this house

like I've never wanted out

and this is about as social as I get now.

And I'm throwing away the letters that I am writing you'cause they would never do, I would never do, never."

Standing on the Edge of Morning...

So we only got about 6 inches of snow. But it was still enough to have to dig out this morning. So now I'm sore, mainly on the left side of my body. And I'm tired. It's one of those days where I just want to crawl in my nice warm bed under the covers and read, watch good TV, or good movies. But sadly, I have no DVDs to watch and no books to read. And there is pretty much nothing at all on TV to watch ....on the Farmer 5 anyway. So here I am blogging, putting off that damn Econ paper. I should really stop whining about it and just finish the damn thing.

I really want to write another juicy good blog that ends up being myspace worthy but I'm just not feelin' it right now. Those always come to me at the most random times. I thought about it yesterday but then I decided it was just a rant about how our parents have fucked us all up in various ways. And I just didn't want to go there, so I opted to play Bingo instead.

I'm sooo ready for it to be Friday so I can handout cookies. For some reason this time of the year is kind of exciting compared to last year. It's almost like I'm 8 years old again waking up at 3 in the morning out of pure excitement. Of course I used to be that way about starting school....now it's like go away...let me sleep. haha. It feels good to be excited about something again though, this time of year has been pretty good in comparision to the last few years. Lets see the next loose sleep because I'm so excited thing will either be Cedar Point....or something equally as exciting. We'll see.

Well....I REALLY am going to go FINISH my term paper now. Oh yeah and just because I'm super unlucky all this snow will probably melt before I get to go sledding. Agh.

Will You Go To Prom With Me? And Dance and Dance....Dance...

So maybe after this snow storm we can go sledding? Once I dig up my sled haha. We'll certianly have enough if we get the foot we're supposed to get. Anyways my arm has been killing me all day and I'm not looking forward to helping my dad dig out tommorrow. He wants to take me out driving in the snow too...gah! If I crash...come visit me in the hospital...or when I'm laid up from injuries!?! lol.

I have to finish my Econ paper tommorrow..blah not looking forward to that. But I'd rather do that then shovel and drive. Ha. We may not even have school on Monday though. So whatever.

My mom is pretty excited about me wanting to go to Prom this year...she's all like we're going to go with your Aunt Suzi and buy a dress and then before prom we'll get your Senior pics taken and you can wear the dress in one of them. Ugh...I think should just sit at home like a loser like last year? lol. Nah...I need to find a date though..even though just going with friends wouldn't be a bad thing...unless they all have dates. Eh. Too bad a lot of my guy friends have girlfriends or....have major crushes on other girls. Bastards. Lmao just kidding guys. Well Prom isn't until May so I guess I have time to find a date....plus new classes maybe potential guys for a date in those...who knows.

Wow...my music is on shuffle but Say Anything keeps popping up. Crazy. Anyways. That's pretty much all I have to say.

The State of My Heart....

So everything was going ok today, until I got to 4th period. It wasn' the class or the homework, it was the conversation going on around me. Now first off, I don't know their stories and they don't know mine. But I don't know if I'd go telling people a good way to get out of school is to go to therapy. Sure I think of the girls who disclosed a lot about her situation might need some but the other two...not so much. Sorry but not getting your way every time does not constitue being depressed and having a shitty day.

I sat there during the conversation, biting my tongue....well not literally but I held back anything I had to say and just did my work. It was another one of those situations where someone says something that offends you and they have no idea. But yet it really gets to you....the same thing happened last week when I was talking to one of my friends. I didn't want to say anything....to avoid ackward questions and silences. So I sucked it up and played along. Even though I did get a little snappy at them later. It's one of those situations where you try really hard just not to cry.

I need him right now. I just want to talk...nothing more. I've had this urge the past couple of days just to go over to his house and be like here I am...lets talk. Let's hangout...lets....I don't know. That would be the most amazing Christmas present ever to just spend some time with him....even if it's just for like 10 minutes...that's fine, I just....he's the one person I can count on to make me feel better most of the time because I get this crazy good feeling when I'm around him.

It's Always You In My Big Dreams.....

I'm feeling quite accomplished right now. I've gotten 7 pages out of 9-10 typed for my English term paper. I'm just waiting to get the other couple of them back from the teacher with corrections so I can do those, and then all I have to do is number, write an intro and conclusion, and work cited page. Yes. Oh yeah and a couple more parenthetical sources wouldn't hurt either. Plus I've started on my Econ paper, only like 3 paragraphs but it's a start and I actually did reasearch today. Yes.

My arm is yet again killing me today. It hurt so bad in math I thought I might cry. I seriously hate this, I've taken some asprin, still waiting for it to kick in. Hopefully it'll cut the pain some.

Why can I not go a day without thinking about him? At the most random moments he pops into my head....in class on the way home from school, just random things I see make me think of him. Just more of a reason why I want to see him.....even after last week's whole thing. But I really need to focus on these stupid term papers grr... next week I'm home free, just have a math final...but other than that I'm good. Plus I'm makin' cookies for people! whoo! I'm more than ready for winter break.

Who's Gonna Make Me? !? Make Me!?!

So I should be working on atleast re-typing my English term paper that's due Friday or Thursday...I think. Ah well it's due sometime this week. But obviously I'm blogging instead. I think I'm going to just sit down tommorrow night, put on some good tunes and hammer it out so I can finally start my Econ term paper. Uh...whoops. :) I'll be so glad when this week is over and I'm term paper free until college!!! YES! Because I'm pretty sure that we won't have papers in Espanol, Gym, or Sports Marketing.....or Pre-Calc for that matter.

Maybe I'll start during my two-hour delay tommorrow....nah. Sleeping is sooo much better. We had an ice storm this weekend. Still hoping we don't close so we'll still have only a 4 day week when we get back from Winter Break. Plus we've figured out that we can't miss any days because we want a 5 day weekend in May...assuming that Sr. Skip day will fall on the week of Memorial Day Weekend. We're thinking possibly a 2 day C-Point stay at this point. Oh yes.

Anyways, I really don't have much else to say....I blog entirely too much. By the way, my arm still hurts mucho. Gah.

Well Isn't That Great....

People shouldn't let me Google or Webmd things. Ha. I was curious as to why I get white spots under my finger nails....and I found out, that it's a sign of either a zinc or iron deficincy or both. Great....

Does that make your left shoulder/arm hurt like a bitch too?

I Used to Have a Heart...

In some sick twisted way, I'm enjoying the pain in my arms tonight. Usually I don't. But right now I'd rather feel that than the emptiness. So I'm not reaching for the hoodie or blanket to keep them warm, I'm just leaving them alone for now.

I had dreams.....today after school, of sledding. Everyone was there. We were having a great time. Snow was being thrown at eachother....something good happened between me and someone. Good is actually an understatement....it was amazing and I wish dreams like that would come true. Well the dream was great, until somebody I don't remember exactly who pushed me on my sled of course down the hill when I wasn't expecting it and I some how broke my arm? lol.

I would love to go sledding this winter....I think it'd be fun. I guess the problem lies in getting other people who think it'd be fun to do too. 2-3 more inches tonight. Another 2 hour delay possibly...we'll see.

You Can't Decipher Deflections from Reality But Neither Can I

We got 3 inches of snow tonight, 3 more are supposedly coming by this weekend. Anyways we had a 2 hour delay this morning and I wanted so badly to sleep in but I started having these nightmares and they were just horrible. So I forced myself to get up and get rid just to avoid the nightmares that were all too real. My nightmares aren't as ficitional and absurd as my regular dreams. They're real....like what's happening in the dream could really happen. They're the kind of thing that ruins your mood, gets you thinking about things you weren't actually thinking about for once. Get you stressed out....

These dreams will probably never go away, I'll have them again....and again. It's events that scar you for life, that cause these dreams. Events that scare you. Events that cause you pain just thinking about them. It just leaves you wanting to feel secure....you don' t like feeling vunerable. You don't like the fear... You want a hug...some kind of reassurance. But you left alone with your thoughts, and hope that this weekly or sometimes daily occurence ends sometime in your life.

"What do you do when your lifes a disaster? And you're moving faster and it's getting harder to breathe...."

Today Was A Day Just Like Any Other.

But, I was in an exceptionally good mood all day. Maybe it was that can of grape juice I had for breakfast. Or Peanut Soupe...or that amazing Greek salad Bernice and I made. Maybe, I'm just getting better at all of this. Certainly better at managing time anyways. I've realized that having some structure and routine things isn't entirely a bad thing. I like reading things and analyzing them for English class. I like challenging math problems that take up half a sheet of paper just for one problem. I like the possibility of 3-5 inches of snow, it's an adventure an exciting one. I think that's how I'll treat college, god willing I get into Ball State. I won't freak out....I'll be like cool a new adventure.

Well, I'm off to get lost in a good album and some Pre-Calc homework. I still feeling like dancing.

Just Let Them Think There's No Place You'd Rather Be

Today I'm kind of hyper feeling. I've been very talkative today and no I haven't had an caffine haha. So yeah, I've been singng along to great songs and just yeah jammin'. That'll all change once I start my pre-calc homework, it's not hard, I'm just in too good of a mood to do it.

It may be the whole watching both NFG dvds thing this weekend that has contributed to my good mood. Some how watching those always is fun and makes me feel gooood. It's the NFG drug I think...they get my endorphins going haha. Plus all the NFG interviews that happened to pop up this weekend too were pretty nifty even though they were your generic boring interview questions that have been heard a million times by now.

I made a Christmas 07' mix this past weekend, I burned it today after school. I tried to burn it yesterday but my burner was like running too fast haha so it errored out after 4 songs. But I fixed it and everything is copasetic. So yes, I have Christmas 05' mix and now 07'...last year was just blah haha. This year I'm too psyched about everything in general. I'm actually excited about things and that's a great feeling to have again.

And just for the record, No I don't have Senioritis yet....haha. I know a lot of people who do have it and I don't. Mostly because it's either too hot or too cold to sleep in class, and I don't know, I don't really have that much homework. Aside from term papers agh. I'm sooooo ready for college though so accept me already and graduate me and let's make it mid-August 08' already! ha. I'm actually excited about life time sports...because I'm hoping to play soccer and flag football.

Alright well that's all for me now kidz. I'm going to continue having fun atleast until my mom gets home then I'll make it look like I'm working hard at my math for awhile before I start writing some more.

Music Thingy
1. Open up the music player on your computer.
2. Set it to play your entire music collection.
3. Hit the shuffle command.
4. Tell us the title of the next 20 songs that show up (with their musicians), no matter how embarrassing. though honestly, if you liked the band enough to rip/download the music, you should not be embarrassed by it.
5. (optional) quote your favorite verse(s) from each one


1.Caroline Yes by The Kaiser Chiefs

2.Better Love by Steel Train

3.Don't Want to Stay by Rock Kills Kid

4.Tenth Street by Valencia

5.My Nine Rides Shotgun by Brand New

6.Catching and Killing by Youth Group

7.Hit Or Miss (Acoustic) by New Found Glory

8.Sowing Season (Yeah) by Brand New
"I am not your friend. I'm not your lover. I'm not your family."

9.Whiskey Rose by New Found Glory

10. The Great Houdini by New Found Glory
"Did You Notice Anything, that changes me? Is it safe to say, that I'll never be the same without you?"

11.Monday Morning by Prozzak

12.Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too by Say Anything
"If I Die and go to hell real soon, it will appear to me as this room"

13. La La Lie (Acoustic) by Jack's Mannequin

14. That Time by Regina Spektor
"Hey remember that time when we decided to kiss anywhere but the mouth?"

15. End of the Roady by Me First and the Gimmie Gimmies

16. The Moment I Said It by Imogen Heap

17. Heaven Isn't Too Far Away by New Found Glory

18. Fractions by Emery

19.How It Goes by Billy Talent

20.The Government Totally Sucks by Tenacious D

200.

So this is my 200th entry on this blog. Whoo go me. I'm slowly catching up to my GJ, which I pretty much don't use anymore. I just checked and I only posted 364 entries on there. So only a 165 to go to beat that record haha.

Anyways, I'm more than ready for this term to be over. I'm ready to get my ass into lifetime sports so I can start getting some exercise. I'm getting jiggle in places I don't want jiggle dammit. As of today, I'm going to try harder to watch what I eat haha, no more like 2 deserts after the same meal. Lmao. I need to bust out some DDR mostly because I want to play....because I haven't for awhile. But I'm really freakin' out of shape, another reason to start playing so I'm not dying in Lifetime Sports haha. It doesn't help that we ate like fried chicken and buffalo french fries for dinner. UGh. Plus Kool-Aid on top of it. Not good I know. Another reason to get into college, free gym access with student ID. Plus I just read today that exercise can be good for reducing my risk of certain disease and cancers. So yeah since sickly things run in my family, I should probably exercise ha! I'd go running but it's too damn cold out.

Plus Exercise gives you more energy. I loved that part about summer conditioning after the two weeks of feeling like you want to die because you hurt all over lmao. I like the feeling of energy you get, it has to be better than becoming a coffee mixed with hot chocolate drinker....haha, we had that yesterday. Major caffine rush. I'm not used to drinking caffine and whoa baby, I woke up in the middle of the night and my heart was pounding. So yeah, excersise looks like my best bet for well...a lot of things. I'm ready for warm weather! Ah but snow storm supposedly this weekend :(

I'm going to go....I don't know, be lazy and vegitate I guess....since the tv with the PS2 is occupado. Plus playing DDR after you eat...not such a good idea.

Do a Dizzy Dance

So, I just got done watching the last quarter of Da Bears Game. Haha, I live close enough to Chi-town to be able to say it like that. Psh. Only 3ish hours away, 1 hour driving to South Bend and another 2ish commuting in on the train. Anyways, wow haha we actually got into it while we were eating our tacos. But whatever, now everything is basically an hour behind on that channel, so that means the Amazing Race won't be on until almost 9...but atleast I'll still be able to watch Brothers & Sisters to see if Kitty goes through with marrying Senator McAllister (I forget his first name lmao)

So my lastfm stats are getting pretty random again. I predict more randomness filled with some Jimmy Eat World, definately re-falling in love with this band again. And...PlayRadioPlay! I don't know why but ever since I was listening to my mp3 player the night before Thanksgiving on shuffle and one of their songs popped up, I've been really digging their stuff. Which is good because I haven't really fully listened to it a lot yet and I've had their stuff for quite awhile now.

I've been having weird dreams about college and dorm life, it reminds me of the summers before freshmen and sophmore year when I had dreams about high school, see I was aloud to have 2 years of weird high school dreams because of the whole switching schools thing. Ah well I'm off to shower and wait for the Amazing Race to come on, enjoy your Mondays if that's at all possible after coming off a 4+ day break for some of you.

Is it July Yet?

So my house is pretty chilly. I've got the hoodie, the blanket and some nice warm gloves on right now. Luckily I mastered typing with gloves about 8th grade haha. Seriously though this cold weather sucks, my hips hurt at the joint because it's so cold. My body hates cold weather. I woke up this morning and there was ice on the inside of my window. No, the heat isn't on in my house yet, and even when it does get turned on, it's still cold in my room because for some reason the heat doesn't reach my room...I get no air conditioning in the summer though either. Both are good ways to like keep the pounds off though haha, in the summer you sweat it all off in the winter your constantly moving to stay warm.

But luckily last night we made a big pot of delicious chili so I had some again for lunch today....sooo good. If there was a microwave at school that I could use then I'd definately take it for lunch. But unfortunately there's not. Ah well I just wanted to whine a little about being cold, so later kidz.

You Won't Go Down Alone....

So I did it, today I killed off the main character in the story. He's gone. I knew it was coming and I'd put it off as long as I could because dammit I loved his character. But now wow....it's sad. Seriously this story has put me through the wringers, I'm totally attached to these characters, so I feel for them. Is that healthy?

This is why I don't think I could write professionally, I get too attached and drag it out as much as possible haha. On a lighter note, today has been pretty awesome on so many different levels. I don't even have time to get into all the awesomeness of today. But yeah, depsite having to kill off a characther I've been in a pretty good mood, so that's always copasetic with me.

My Moves Are White (Hot That is...)

So, I'm kind of on a writing streak right now. No, not blog writing although it may seem that way. So, yeah I thought I'd just let you know incase I don't post a blog for awhile (which means what 3 days? haha) Also I linked it up with a screenshot from my facebook, so maybe I'll get more hits now? I'm sure people would just love reading about my oh so exciting life.

Anyways, later kidz. Have a good Turkey Day!!!

P.S. I'm already sick of Turkey, ate it 2 days at school last week and had Turkey Soup today.

This Is Fact Not Fiction, For the First Time In Years.

It's funny what 4 years of high school can do to you. I'm quickly approaching my last semester of high school, and it's been one hell of a trip. Not necessarily a good one but one hell of a trip none the less.

You start out freshmen year being stoked to be out of middle school. Whoo, I'm really a "big kid" now. I get to change classes more than just walking across the hall half way through the day. I get to choose what I want for lunch every day to some extent. My favorite freshmen year was always Lays KC Masterpiece BBQ Chips, a package of Zebra Cakes, and Pineapple Orange Banana Juice. Of course I always had to keep track of my lunch money which was a pain. I suppose that's teaching us how to manage money? If we spend it before the week is up we're screwed and don't get to eat lunch? ha. Plus we'd have friends that need to borrow some, now usually you'd hopefully get paid back within the week but then you have those friends that never seem to pay you back. Not that I have many of those. Freshmen year was actually pretty informative not just educationally but socially. I figured out that I'm a lazy kid when it comes to studying and my grades reflected that. I had grades as low as D-'s then. This past quater of my Senior year I had a 4.0 GPA. I was also thrown into this situation where I knew people but only really fit in with a few of them whom I had previously gone to school with, so I had to make new friends.

Making new friends when your 14 is frankly easier said than done. Especially when you have a fresh scar on your arm that looks like a suicide attempt. Your math teacher is nice enough to put you in the back though and you meet some kids by talking to them about their drawings or book they're reading. Then you meet other kids through those couple of friends you had previous to high school, and yet other friends in the most random situations. And you eventually end up freezing your ass off with them all winter waiting for our buses.

You're 14, and your like ok, so it's gotta be cool to be dating someone right? You go out with the football player guy who somehow picks up that you're feeling like shit one day when you had just found out that one of your favorite bands had broken up. ( I think we all know which band that is.) That guy turns out to be pretty much a jerk, but you were young and pretty much infatuated so what can you do? You realize over the next 3 years what a huge mistake you made. Because even before you went out with the jerk, you'd like someone else. You realized you blew that big time, and you could literally slap yourself upside the head for doing something so stupid.

You're not only going through all this school drama, but the drama at home starts then. You come to the realization that you have to change schools. You wish you didn't have to, and would actually prefer not to. But you realize that transferring in the middle of a quarter or after a semester would be a lot harder, both academically and well friendship wise. You had no choice. You want to tell people why but it hurts, it's hard, you can't. It's still something you struggle with to this day.

I got a semi-fresh start Sophmore year. I wish I didn't have to have one, but it was out of my hands. Sometimes you wonder what it would've been like if you had started out at the school you're going to now. But then you realize, that you wouldn't have made some incredible friends and never would've met some other amazing people. So you don't really regret going there, just a select couple of things that happened there. All that couple with what has happened in the past 3 years has only left me wanting another fresh start. A clean slate with new people, new places, new challenges. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to leave some of you behind and I won't, but I need to be done with high school. I need to put these past 4 years behind me and start thinking optimistically about something for once. So sorry if I seem overally excited about going away to college, sorry if I talk about it too much. You just have no idea how hard it's been. HIgh School has left me feeling trapped, I need out.

Heh, plus I probably got just a little carried away with this blog, but what's done is done. And apparently I use contractions too much according to my English teacher so deal with em'.

AGH!

I want to throw my stupid piece of crap DVD player up against the wall right about now. It worked like crap before, I always have to warm it up, it never just takes off and plays. Tonight I turned it on at 8 and it the freakin' DVD didn't load until 9:45. WTF!?! Now I had to clean the disk and I put it back in and it won't freakin' load again!?! GAH! I want to kill it. Stupid Samsung piece of shit. Somebody get me a new decent DVD player for Christmas? heh.

Bliss....

Ever feel like listening to music and then realize you have no clue as to what you want to listen to? Ok so that was a dumb question because all of us do that. I don't know, I guess right now I'm breaking out some stuff I haven't listened to in awhile and it's almost refreshing. I can't do like I used to do in 7th, 8th, and 9th grade where I could listen to the same album for like weeks or months at a time and be cool with that. I guess the whole thing was then I didn't have half the music library that I have now so selection was limited. Now I have so much that it's like whoa sensory overload....so much good music and not enough time in a day to listen to it all. I have roughly 8 days of music just opened up on my windows media player right now. I still have stuff sitting on my hard drive that's not opened up on WMP, and a shit load of cds that aren't ripped to WMP either.

Anyways, I don't really know the point of babbling about my music collection but whatever right? Oh Turkey is a really boring meat like chicken. I've ate it the past 2 days and it's not even Thanksgiving yet. haha.

Oh and I definately think I need to hangout with some certain people before I loose my sanity. But that probably won't happen till after the holidays so we'll see. Damn...this half of the year has gone by fast, next thing I know it'll be May and I'll be graduating. Which frankly at the moment sounds amazing and exciting. I don't have a bad case of Senoritis like some people I know but high school is just getting so old. I'm ready for a fresh start.

Maybe I Don't Wanna Go....Can't You Wait?

So, things that were ok today, Watching 4 episodes of ER. Plus I still have 6 more to watch before Thursday. Vegetable Soup for lunch, and Cheerios chex mix.

Ribs still hurt, I'm tired. I don't feel like going to school tommorrow. I have to so I can take a test and assemble a casserole. It's raining. My body aches. Sometimes I just feel like lying under the covers and watching TV. The only thing that would top that is lying under the covers and watching TV with well...him but that ain't gonna happen.

I have to go finish some Math extra credit cuz I got a low B on my last quiz. Plus gotta study for Econ test since Crowley jacked my class particpation grade. Apples with carmel suddenly sounds really good right now. How much randomer can I get?

I feel so cold So weak, my lungs are failing Maybe there’s still hope


I hate people who totally contradict themselves. I just want to punch them in the face or throw something at them.

I hate people who make assumptions about people especially when they make the same assumption on a daily basis, it makes me want to punch them.

I hate people who talk about themselves non stop, and not only do they talk about themselves, they talk about the same aspect of themselves over and over and over again. Enough to drive you up a freakin' wall. Guess what? It makes me want to punch them too.

I hate that the solution for everything now days is therapy. I don't want to go to therapy. I'll deal with my own shit thank you very much. I don't care if it is free. I don't need a shrink or anybody else. I've gotten this far on my own, I think I'll be fine. Lonely as a further subconciously isolate myself from everyone but overall ok. I don't need your freakin' pysch meds....so back off. I have people I can rant to about the stupid stuff...that's enough for me. They can hear about how life is unfair because Crowley docked my class participation grade or whatever. Heh.

I've yet to fill out one college application. They're due Friday. I'm debating about filling any out. I guess you could say I'm seriously fucking up my future huh? At this point I really don't care, I'd rather join the military and just get shot...seems a lot easier than dealing with the pressure of college and well life. So I'll have a gimp or be really mentally gone but eh....you know whatever. It'd sure as hell be a lot cheaper for everyone. Or you know my back up plan of becoming a toll booth worker. Ah the prestige of being a toll booth worker. Dream big right? That's ok, I'll probably die of some disease before then anyways.

This is what happens when you have a lot of rage, sprained ribs that are killing you, and military recruiters calling you all weekend. Oh...and being told that you manipulate people on an apparently daily freakin' basis. I guess I'm a manipulator....and I can get people to do whatever I want for me. Yeah. Right. Let me know when that starts working. People in my life are obviously oh so supportive can't ya tell? By the way people need to stop giving me shit about a certain someone because frankly they have no room to talk.

I LIVE!

So last week was let's just say BLAH. I really don't want to get into details but I'm semi-healthy now. So that's good right? Bronchitis sucks....I had it last time around this year too. I hope I don't get again next year because it's a nasty little bugger. Plus I have some lovely sprained ribs as souviners....whoo.

But the good news, almost all of my work is made up, after being out of school for 4 days. Heh. I got to watch the Price Is Right like every day. And now it's freeezing in my room. Damn Indiana and our crappy cold weather. I HATE IT! I serioulsy need to move some place warmer or atleast more exciting if it's going to be cold like this.

I've broken out the Christmas tunes...shh. I actually did like a week ago. Shhh... haha. Please I bet Santa came to the mall the day after Halloween. Psh. Speaking of Holidays, we get Monday off whoo! And...next week at school we're making Thanksgiving dinner! YES! Annddd the week after is the real deal! SO YES! I'm excited about all of that good eating.

K well I should go finish this stupid outline...and learn some vocab words. Tis' all for now kidz.

Fever Dreams, They Always Haunt You....

So I feel like crap and basically have all day. Woke up with some bad coughing/chest pain/rib pain gah. So sucks. Got a fever around 4th period. My God that classroom was extremely hot. Luckily I didn't have to do much thinking in that class, we drew pictures and took a really easy quiz.

After school we loaded up the car with Me, Erin, Michelle and Zak (who just happened to be wearing a kilt today...haha) and headed over to Concordia to pick up Haley. So of course I kept a lookout for people I knew...and I saw Josherz (I think it looks cooler with a "Z" but chances are I'll forget to do that ha) Didn't talk long, walked him to his car and part way back to the building. He had stuff to do. On the ride home, I was really feeling crappy. Listened to Michelle's Ipod. There were only a select few good songs on it to listen to. Eh.

Got home felt like I was going to pass out, fever was beginning to make me feel delirious. That's when I know my fever is getting bad when the delerium sets in. But I took some asprin. And that helped for now, I can feel it coming back and it's starting to hurt more again to breathe and such.

All I have left to say is that my AIM is freakin' broke and I don't feel up to messing around with my computer to fix it. Especially after the whole 2 day Java Fiasco. I got Chinese food tonight!!! YES! Oh and I got 2 discs of Season 3 of ER to watch this weekend from the Library. Man if anybody has discs 1-3 for Season 3 lemme borrow them?!? The Library's were stolen or something so they only have discs 4-6. :(. Alright kidz, I'm going to go lye down....and watch Las Vegas. ER watching will start tommorrow so I can just lounge around and rest up, hopefully I won't feel this shitty on Monday. If I do...I'm not going to school. Especially if I stil have this fever.

I Am Not Afraid to Keep on Livin'.

So somebody needs to hook Sarah up with the new Brand New song "Fork and Knife" because it's amazing and I need it on my computer yo! I've checked all the usual spots but have yet to find it. So....if anybody wants to drop me a link...I'll gladly share some tunes with you. I'm also waiting for I-Empire to be leaked in it's entirity. I have the promo-cd, and I suppose that'll have to hold me over until the whole album is out. Grr.

So instead of saying stuff that's life changing or mucho interesting I'm just going to leave you with really random things.

Locker Buddies are amazing. So are Wallet Chain Roledexes. (not Rolexes, those things people use on their desks to keep people's phone #'s and such.) We're making Pumpkin Cookies Tommorrow. No I don't want to check out the Black Stallion from the Library. I like arguing about Bottled Water Prices in Econ. We've concluded that Tardy Interventions suck, and so does our administration and Guidance department. I don't have any Pre-Calc homework, and that makes me happy.

Smile, Like You've Got Nothing to Prove.

Do you ever listen to a song and have this amazing story that goes along with the lyrics and music play out in your head? Don't you just wish that you had the resources and time to make that story into a music video? I do that all the time. It's almost like it'd be a more powerful tool in telling people how that song makes you feel and what that song reminds you of. Or maybe that's just the inner techie in me talking in wanting to express myself through making music videos for certain songs. Not that I want to do that as a career but I think it'd be cool to film/direct a music video.

You know what? I'm going to do that someday. I'll put that on the list of things to do sooner rather than later. I was just watching Oprah and they had these terminal cancer patients on who were two of the most positive and optimisitic people I've ever seen. I was amazed. It really made me think that I should just stop waiting around for my dreams to happen and just go out and do what I want to do. It's like they say, the biggest regrets in life aren't the things you do, it's the things you don't do. I know I'm definately regretting only one thing that I haven't done in my life. But there's still time to make that happen, I'm young, anything is possible.

Those amazing people also reminded me of a conversation that I had with a friend on Saturday. They were asking me how I was doing that day. I told them that well I was on the good part of the roller coaster ride known as life. We both agreed that we have far more bad days than good days. Why should it be like that? We're both young. We're 17 years old. Well me and that friend anyways, I know that many of you are either younger or older than me. Anyways, shouldn't we all be out having more fun and enjoying life? Doing things that make ourselves happy? Yes I know that many of you work. But life is short and we're going to spend the majority of our lives working, why let work rule our lives? Let's go outside, and run around like little kids. Scream at the top of our lungs. Sing our hearts out when we hear our favorite songs. Don't dwell on the things bringing us down. We all need to learn to move on and let go of those things that do drag us down.

I'm working on it. Sometimes it's harder to do than other times, but I think I'm getting better at it. I've learnt to accept things they way they are, and people for who they are. As long as someone is happy with themselves and where they're at in life, who am I to say that they're doing something wrong? People are people, if you want to talk with me....hit me up. I'm game. Want to go play some box ball and relive elementry school recess? Sure...lets do it. You don't have to have money or go somewhere special to have fun and create memories. Things are just material. They won't always be there. They won't make you happy. People are the ones who care. People can make you happy. People make memories.

I don't know about you guys, but I told my mom today that I'm not ready to die yet, I still have so much living and learning left to do. So let's just all Learn to Live....

So It's Still Like 5 Months Away But....

I'm really thinking that for my 18th birthday it would be awesome to get a group of friends and head down to Daleville or Anderson to go to White Castle. You know considering most of them have never even had it...and are sick of me babbling about it. If the van was running, I'd totally use it and just call people up and say hey I'm taking a van load of people to Daleville lets go! But I know my Dad would want to go haha. But maybe they wouldn't have to know...it'd just be hey I'm going to hangout with my friends today...especially since my Birthday is the first Monday of Spring Break!?! Yes!

Yes...I'm going to throw the idea out there to some of my friends see if they're down. Who knows maybe the van will be driveable by then (not likeley but one can hope) Not that anyone would want to ride with me lmao.

I guess what brought this on was a thread on The-N. A girl was asking for ideas for a sweet 16 party. And I know that a lot o of my friends have had parties for the 18th's and or planning ones. Nothing extravagant just getting people together, having food and a good time. I don't know we'll see. At the very least take me out to the Mandrin for Chinese and I'll love you forever.

P.S. I'm really digging music today...I seriously have this new found love for it. I can't stop listening. Gah! I hate when I get bored with music, but luckily today isn't one of those days.

Check It Out.



So this album is pretty freakin' amazing and I haven't even listened to it all the way through. Let the impressive guest vocals list speak for itself.

Skinny, Mean Man Pete Yorn (Vocals)
No Soul Anna Waronker (Vocals) , DJ Swamp (Being a DJ)
Surgicallly Removing the Tracking Device Adam Lazarra (Vocals) Fred Mascherino (Vocals)
This is Fucking Ecstasy Anthony Raneri (Vocals)
The Church Channel Haylie Williams (Vocals)
Shiksa (Girlfriend) Caithlin De Marrais (Vocals)
Retarded in Love Chris Carrabba (Vocals), Michael Auerbach (Vocals), “Spacey” Casey Prestwood (Pedal Steel)
People Like You Are Why People Like Me Exist Trevor Keith (Vocals)
Sorry, Dudes. My Bad. Chris Conley (Vocals)
In Defense of the Genre Gerard Way (Vocals)
The Truth Is, You Should Lie With Me Joshua Sultan (Vocals)
About Falling Matt Skiba (Vocals), Laura Kirsch (Vocals)
You’re the Wanker, If Anyone Is Jordan Pundik (Vocals) Chad Gilbert (Vocals) Aaron Gillespie (Vocals)
We Killed It Andy Jackson (Vocals)
Hangover Song Anthony Green (Vocals)
Plea Kenny Vassoli (Vocals), Haylie Williams (Vocals)

No Soul contains a portion of the composition “Juicy Fruit,” written by James Mtume, published by Mtume Music (BMI)
Insult to the Dead features additional arrangement by Joshua Sultan
Plea features a portion of the composition “Rocks Tonic Juice Magic” written by Chris Conley, published by Cottleston Pie (SESAC)

I'm Incredibly Cheesey.

So...I'm not ashamed to admit that I just listened to a Blink than an NFG song...because that's pretty much the essence of me...but now I'm listening to a Brittney Spears cover song...just a little embarassng. Atleast it's kind of funny because the singer kind of makes me think of Mario or Lugi...haha you know the video game dudes? It's like this cartoon-y italian accent thing going and yeah haha. And the pop-punkness continues with Sum 41, don't worry I won't sit here and type out my playlist for the next half hour lmao.

Anyways I should be studying for Government...but nah. I don't have any other homework to do in that class tommorrow so I'll probably study for my final in there that's on Thursday. All depending on how awake I am of course.

So....Foods class is amazing and Chelsea is taking the stupid PSAT tommorrow and yeah that sucks cuz we'll miss her! I really wish I would've taken that test though haha maybe my SAT scores would've been better.

Ok...well I'll leave you with this; Go pick up Jimmy Eat World's new album Chase the Light. I haven't listened to it a lot yet but I am planning on it.

Not Because I Idolize Him or Anything...But..




So...it's his Birthday and I actually remembered so that deserves a picture posting.

Us Midwest Kids...

So why is that I turn on the 5 o' clock news and the first 4 stories are all related to bomb threats and school shootings?

So apparently there was a bomb threat today at New Haven High School which is like 10 minutes from my house. The school went on lock down and stuff. Then the next story is about this kid who's threatening to bring guns to Elmhurst (on the otherside of town but still...) The school knows about it....and apparently talked to the kid but besides that has done nothing and plans to do nothing. Makes you feel really good about what your school system does for ya. Whoo FWCS ha. Anyways the 3rd story was about the Clevland school shooting and the last one was about this homeschooled kid who was planning to pull a Columbine at a nearby high school in Pennsylvannia(sp?).

Are we all that angry that we feel the need to go shoot up schools and make threats? Are we all stupid enough to streak in flesh colored thongs/penis costumes at a football game as Sophmores and get arrested/expelled?

Plus...we had a lockdown drill today. Big Whoop. It's gotten to the point that they're so routine that the teachers don't even take them seriously. We sat there and did math problems through the whole drill. Whatever....Only what 4-5ish more years of school...and only like 3/4's of a school year left in High School. I have noticed that the violence has gotten worse since I've been in school, more fights and such. But there's not really much I personally can do about it...so you just kind of cope and accept that stuff as a part of every day life.

The BSU Trip

So I went down to Ball State today, to see the campus ect. Nice place, and I'm really thinking I want to go there so I got an application and am going to fill that out this week and get some letters of reccomendation from Crowley and whoever else haha.

The only thing that was kinda eh was the extreme tiny-ness of the dorm rooms or atleast the ones in the building we were in. But they said that I could probably get placed in the T-Com, dorms and they're a bit bigger room size wise...and they don't have bunk beds. Dunno if I like the idea of sharing bunk beds with someone I don't know all that well.

I think I'll get fat if I eat 3 meals a day there...lmao. They have like Chik Fil'a and stuff....plus buffets and stuff. I guess I'd just have to make use of the free access to the gym and stuff. haha Well honestly that should probably be the least of my worries. You know actually worry about getting in, scholarships, oh and you academics...especially me passing Spanish III this spring. I think since a T-Com major needs 4 semesters of a language I'm going to work my ass off this Spring studying for Spanish so I'll have a leg up when I take it in College because I really don't like the idea of starting a whole new language in college.

Anyway...more about BSU later. I HAVE to start writing my Political Philosophy paper TONIGHT. Even though I'm tired and don't want to. I won't be home tommmorrow night so I gotta get it hammered out. Plus it only has to be 4-5 pgs...our tour guide said she had a 101 page paper she wrote...My jaw wanted to drop to the floor lmao. So later kidz.

Quickie!

Ok so a quick blog before the Top Chef Season Finale. I've finally figured out how I'm going to write my Political Philosophy paper. It all came to me while taking a shower haha. Psh I do a lot of thinking in there sometimes. Anyways I may start it tommorrow in Crowley's class if I'm super bored. But yeah, I think it's going to be amazing now and I actually can't wait to write it.

So yeah, I think all this writing activity was sparked by the fact that my journal response in English was totally awful and selfish in nature. We had to write about what our personal paradise would be like if we could have one and I wrote about the first things that came to mind which were material things, not even thinking about people's feelings or stuff like that. Then the teacher is like...well let's read some out loud. He starts reading them and people are like deep and shit....and I'm going oh God...don't pick mine....I'm a horrible selfish materialistic shallow person and my paper sucks. Thankfully he didn't pick mine to read. Phew. Anyways then I came home and worked on the story. FINALLY! After about 2 months of not working on it, I added almost a full sheet of notebook paper. Whoo! Go Me!

Ok...so I'm already dressed for school...it's PJ day...haha. I literally roll out of bed throw on some shoes and am on my way. Plus we're eating our Quiche tommorrow Yummerz.

P.S. Lots of BOY DRAMA is going down and not all of it involving me and the boys I fancy. (British enough for ya? haha)

Dammit.

Tom DeLonge why did you have to write a song that makes me want to cry? This song makes me angry/sad/jealous....god so many things. "Breathe" by Angels & Airwaves check it out.

Ok...so here's my on going dilema. I like this guy well actually I like two guys. But I like one way more than the other one. Mostly because I know the other guy better and have known him longer. Anyways...here's the problem, I know the guy I like more is interested in another girl and that is just freakin' killing me....and makes me mucho jealous. Gah. But I think the other guy may like me and this other girl who I happen to be kinda friends with. Plus I think he'd probably pick over her because I made fun of him for liking the Fray...lmao. I guess I should give up on the first boy but I can't...I've been trying to for the longest freakin' time and I just can't. But on the other side of things...I guess I shouldn't loose all hope on the 2nd one.....I can't see being in a lasting relationship with him but...it could be fun.

Gotta go do English and Pre-Calc. Later kids.

Fuck It.

I don't even know why I bother.

Umm...Title?

I've finally found 2 matching red socks! Yay! Go Me! haha. Now I just don't know what red shirt I'm going to wear with them, or whatever other red things I own. I wish I had red shorts. :(. Anybody want to loan me some? I think I'm either going to try and find a red headband at the store this weekend orrrr a red bandana or actually find my red bandana but after the sock thing, I'm really tired of looking for stuff haha. I'm really wishing I still had those red track pants but....I don't have them anymore :(.

Oh well, I'm sitting here listening to Dashboard....MTV Unplugged album. Reminds me of when I saw them live. I've also concluded that this would make a great road trip album...you know because it's just dying to be sung along to.

So...I don't really have much else to say because I'm feeling distracted and not in the blogging mood so that's all for me today kids.

Gotta Keep It Simple Now.

So I don't feel well, haven't really since Monday night. Part of my feeling bad at the moment I know can be attributed to anxiety/stress. But the other part I think may be allergies or something because it's hurting to breathe again like it did around this time last year. I only remember because I was sick last year and missed out on going to the Auburn fair...which I probably won't get to go to this year for many other reasons. Unless somebody wants to go...and take me with them? haha.

I feel very Sherri Durpee errr Gilbert right now...mostly because of the way I'm wearing my hair. It's just very Sherri. Not that that's a bad thing. I like her hair. Well her hair color is better than mine but the style I have going on right now is similar to what she does to her hair sometimes.

Anyways homecoming is next week. Monday is colors day...Seniors are RED! Whoo I need to find my other red soccer sock...I have two pairs and yet I can only find one red sock!?! psh. Tuesday is costume day...and I have no idea as to what I should be....so any suggestions are welcome. Wednesday is Hat/Jersey Day....blah probably just wear my Galaxy jersey, and maybe a hat...I've already worn all my good ones to school already. Thursday is PJ day. I usually just shower the night before....put on pj's that night and roll out of bed in the morning haha. Friday is Black n' Gold day of course.

So...yeah I think I'm going to go watch TV and lye down...so tis all for me kids.

Here I Go...Scream My Lungs Out....

So I stole this from Chris....20ish things that I've really never told anyone. So some of you may know these but most of you don't.

1.I have fairly bad anxiexty. The future stresses me out. I've lost sleep due to anxiety attacks. I've also missed school due to anxiety a few times. I get really shakey and feel like I'm going to puke....sometimes I can't breathe...but that's only when it gets really bad. I also have like the closest bathroom planned out at school relative to the classroom I go to...because the thought of throwing up stresses me out so much.

2.My freshmen year I was suicidal, I seriously considered ending my life. I had to force myself not to go into the kitchen and grab a knife to slit my wrists. Instead I just resorted to purposely bruising myself. Luckily I haven't been that way since.

3.I'm totally against drinking, smoking, and doing drugs. I'm against smoking because I prefer not to end up with lung cancer...or some other disease related to smoking. I'm agains drinking and drugs because I've seen first hand how they mess people up and that scares me....so I don't want to do that to myself....or put other people through the consequences of my actions.

4. I think I'm in love with one of my best friends and he doesn't know it.

5.I've come to dread Christmas and the weeks following because I hate hearing everyone talk about all the cool things that they've gotten. It makes me embarassed to say what gifts I've recieved.

6.I haven't gone on a real date since my freshmen year of high school. I've been to scared, that a guy might try and take advantage of me again.

7.I worry about my weight too much. I'll skip meals, or not eat very much because I think I'm too fat. Even though I can wear the same pair of jeans that I got the beginning of my 8th grade year and t-shirts from 4th grade.

8.I wanted to transfer out of Concordia after about the first month of school. I hated it there. Until I met some cool people, then I was sad about leaving. I still miss it sometimes. Mostly certain people and my private school food. BBQ potatoe chips, zebra cakes, and pineapple orange banana juice lmao.

9.I have this gut feeling that I'm not going to get into college at all except for IPFW. Then I'll be stuck getting some major I don't even want to get. I've gotten used to being let down.

10.I'm scared that by the age of thirty I'll have lost all function/motion of my hands and wrists due to carpal tunnel or whatever the hell is wrong with them. This problem has only been getting worse since 7th grade. It's so bad that some days I want to scream in pain. I'm scared of going to the orthopedic doctor because I think they're just going to perscribe me pain meds and I don't want to be an enabler. So for now I just live with it.

11.I think I'm ugly. I think that my hair constantly sucks, that I'm too pale, ect.

12.I spend more weekends at home alone in my room than out with friends.

13.I've only ever kissed one boy, and it wasn't the greatest experience in the world....he slobbered all over me. That was almost 4 years ago.

14.I tend to be negative about things and point out the downside or consequences of things to people. I think that annoys people. So I'm sorry.

15.In like 5th grade I was obessed with Aaron Carter but no one ever knew haha. I was always trying to get up the courage to ask my parents to buy me an Aaron Carter CD lmao...but I never did ask. Thank God.

16.In 7th grade I'd find random bands on purevolume (mp3.com that's what it used to be back in the day) and download their songs and act all superior because I was listening to a band that no one had ever heard of. When they were like bands from Texas who only had ever played like 2 shows and then broke up haha.

17.I can be very self-ish. For example I don't want kids because they cost too much money lol. Plus I've very stingy and won't buy anything without like comparing prices first. I've actually talked myself out of buying things I've really wanted many times.

18.I secretly like want to change up my style....but am afraid to and don't have the money to really wear what I want to wear. I mean it's not like a humungo lets wear all pink thing.....but sort of different.

19.Contrary to the state of my room I'm actually a pretty organized person. I'm just too lazy to actually clean my room because I know that I don't have a place to put everything. So my attitude is just screw it...I'll deal with it when I move out someday.

20.I really miss playing soccer and playing sports with the guys at recess in elementary/middle school. I had a lot of fun doing those things...and just wish that sometimes I was outside just running around playing football or soccer.

No Man's Land

So I've been finding all sorts of things out lately. Good things. Yesterday we had a Sr. Assembly and the college estimator cost lady was there. She gave me hope that I won't be in debt the rest of my life. Especially since my FASFA or whatever will be based off of 07' info. So yeah, I'm going to apply to Ball State and Valpo along with IPFW of course now. But I'm really hoping Ball State because their program is better there.

Anyways enough about school, I'm honestly tired of talking about college stuff for once. Moving on to other things I've found out just recently. So you know that 20 things I want to say to people....well Erin and Chris both did it. I found out after asking Chris that Dan liked me freshmen year too. That was like whoa. So wow....that makes Chris, Dan, Vinny, The Rat (blah), and Josherz that all liked me freshmen year. So why am I still single dammit!?! haha.

No seriously though, I hate that more and more girls are making the first move. I guess I'm kind of old school in that sense and would rather have a guy ask me out than me having to make the first move. I mean I can drop all the hints I want and it seems like most guys just don't get it haha. Oh well.....I mean there's only a couple...one in particular whom I want to go out with anyways....you know #3 from the entry below this one. But uh, we may just be destined to be friends.

I'm tired so I'm gonna go sleep.....fun I know. Oh and by the way the freshmen guys at my bus stop are all assholes. Me and Mole Kid(I still don't know his name lmao) are the only non-asshole people at that bus stop that we waited a half hour at this morning in the fog...getting swarmed by misquitoes.

So I was bored.
20 People. No more, no less.
1) List 20-ish things that you want to say to people, but never will.
2) Don't say who they are.
3) Never discuss it again.


1. I miss our crazy antics from back in the day some times. I wish we could hangout more. I wish you didn't live so far away now. Well I know it's not that far but to me it's still too far. You're an amazing and a very talented person. Sure a little eccentric at times but that's really what makes me admire you. You just don't care and do what you want, wear what you want, and say what you want...even more so than your average teen stickin' it to the man by going against the norm. Never change...and you'll always be my friend if you ever need anything at all.

2. I don't understand why you do the things you do a lot of the times. Part of me thinks you just want a lot of attention because your sister gets most of it. Part of me worries about what'll happen next year and where you'll go. We've known eachother since 2nd grade....I don't know I guess I just hate to see you not being given the chance to succeed at something your passionate about. Although, I'm not quite sure what you're passionate about besides recieving attention from people.

3. One thing I'll never have the guts to say to your face is, "I Love You." You mean so much to me and you'll never probably know that. I haven't known you as long as some people but I feel that I can trust you. Trust comes hard to me these days so you should feel good about having my trust. You don't know this but you've helped me through a lot of tough times by just helping me keep my mind off of what was going on. We talk about anything and everything and I love that. I never ever want to loose that bond between us. I can't loose you. You're a part of me wether you like it or not. Please don't ever change, you're amazing regardless of what other people think. I made a mistake February of 05'. I think we both know what that was....I regret that all the time. It should've been you...and not him.

4.I've seen you change a lot as we've grown up together and gotten older. You've let other people form who you are insteading of learning how to be you. You've in a sense learnt how to become a combination of everyone else. It makes me wonder, why did you ever befriend me? Was it because the people you did hang out with back in the day abandoned you and you saw that from the start I've always been the odd ball out doing my own thing but still having as much fun as possible? It's frustrating. I pretty much think...No I know, that you're all talk and no action. A little tip...try some action. Be proactive about something for once....go out of your way to experience something new. Break out of the close-minded sheltered midwestern cliche, and no I'm not talking about copying something that I or someone else may be doing....get some Culture.

5.I took for granted all the opportunties the chances we had to hangout over the past few years that I've known you. Now you're gone and I miss you. I wish we could hangout tommorrow but I know that's not possible. I love you like a brother. I admire you for being so open and up front with me. It's given me the courage to be more open with people. You've truely impacted my life in a positive way...and I want to thank you for that. Oh and we most definately just need to go a nice long road trip sometime....hitting up as many shows along the way of course too. ^_^

6.You're quite an amazing writer, I fear that people don't give you enough credit where credit is due. You write so beautifully....I often think, Wow you're amazing and all my writing is crap compared to yours. I hope you continue to write...I miss reading your blogs, if you get a chance post more. Even though they were at times cryptic....they're still amazing and make me think. Write On! (how lame is that? lol)

7. You're probably the best relative I have....save for well my one Aunt and Uncle who don't have kids. Anyways, we go to school together now, and that's pretty cool. I remember planning with you how we were going to skip out on boring family gatherings and just go have fun. Looks like that hasn't happened yet...but give it time....it'll happen. Get more out of your high school experience than I did. Live it up!

8.You listened to me complain a whole bunch. Mainly about me being hungry or about someone else...mainly a certain teacher haha. Thanks though, I know it must have gotten old and you probably wanted to punch me in the face and just yell at me to shut up. You're really smart, I hope you're really successful someday.

9.Honestly, you talk ALOT! Mostly crap about other people. That is annoying and people find that annoying. Sometimes you need to learn when to keep your mouth shut. People get tired of you running your mouth. Especialy so early in the morning...I mean damn, I'm not awake enought to listening to people bitching that early.

10.I wish we still had class together. But sadly we don't have any this year. Nothing will compare to Sophmore foods that class was amazing. My Advanced Foods class just isn't the same without everybody in it. You're really creative and amazing....so don't let your talents go to waste.

11.We only ever officially met face to face once...and that was by complete random chance last year, when I just randomly showed up at your school. Anyways I remember the long summer chats the summer before my Sophmore year. Thanks for those. I'll always remember them and take them to heart. We should probably actually hangout sometime haha.

12.I've always wondered what ever happened to you. What school you go to now....what happened during life after pre-school and kindergarten. You were my best friend then and if I remember right you were a pretty good dancer even throwing money out while dancing on the table at our kindergarten graduation (or so the tape shows. haha)

13. You literally saved my life, and I can never thank you enough for that. You've always been like a big brother to me. You've always looked out for me and made sure I got passed to and such...Thanks.

14.Grow Up Kid...your not a young kid anymore. Whining and complaing will get you nowhere. If you want something done don't rely on other people to do it or buy it for you. Work your ass off and do it/earn it for yourself.

15.Don't be afraid to put yourself out there, You're really smart but you should speak up more and share your knowledge with others. Don't fear the unkown...try something new, who knows you may like it.

16.I hate that you tried to use me in 4th grade, I guess the plan kind of backfired though huh? Too bad. I'm glad you didn't stick around after 6th grade.

17.You honestly freak me out....stop staring at me. I thought we've been over this whole thing. Get it through your head...you freak me out and I don't have feelings for you. Sorry.

18.I like how we sort of just tip toe around what we were back in elementry school like the best friends ever. We go to the same school now and barely even acknowledge each other. Oh well. Our parents thought it was the cutest thing ever though right? haha.

19. I miss the things we used to after school. It had to be better than sitting at home everyday and doing homework. We were outside all the time doing all kinds of things. Now you seem like you've gotten shyer. I don't know, I miss the younger you. The kid that would play outside with me and sing Linkin Park at the top of our lungs while playing soccer.

20.The Pocket of Death....was by far the grossest thing ever. But I remember it well....and no my Dad is not a member of the Beatles. You too have always cared and are one of the nicest people I know.

At School in English.

I'm bored, I still have till 1:05 in this class boo. Everything on these computers are blocked. I want to check my facebook messages, because I've gotten email saying I've got some but facebook and myspace are both blocked gah.So are other game sites and the-n. Atleast APnet hasn't been blocked yet. So....bored.

Next period I heard we're getting like 50+ problems in math...fun.

Atleast after school we're going to Best Buy to pick up some CDs.

That's only what 2 hours from nowish till we get out of school. I really don't have much else to say for myself, I'm in my non-thinking school state of mind right now. All of today has been pretty much terribly boring.

*Insert Cryptic Song Lyric Title Here*

So, I made more money than intended this week...but that's more than ok with me. The worst part of my weekend is going to be writing a rough draft essay for English. Blah. How many different essays can you write comparing Beowulf's heroic qualities to someone elses'? Gah. So repitive.

Oh well my reward for turning my essay in on Tuesday will be going to Best Buy to pick up FTSTYSII. It's only going to cost me like 3 bucks yes...it's on sale for 10 to start with and I have like 7 bucks in giftcards. Oh and speaking of NFG, Chad was chatting on APNet Friday and he mentioned there being a new full length NFG album by the Summer of 08', a B-Sides Album, and that Geffen is going to release a Greatest Hits album that they're not too crazy about happening. So yeah, I'm pretty pumped.

I should probably go write that stupid essay so I can just chill tonight and not have to worry about homework. Oh man...Istep is this week too. Gah that means we're doing like NOTHING this week. Why they just don't let the upperclassmen who have passed it stay home and just come in half days is beyond me. Concordia and several other schools do it that way. Ah oh well.

Thinking Outrageously, I Write in Cursive...

I have another Wedding Saturday so I can make some more money. Yay. I'll probably be spending the whole 25 I make though between buying the new NFG CD next Tuesday, yes the first CD I've bought since well....Coming Home came out, and going to Bandidos the weekend after for Keiara's 18th birthday party. Which should be fun at the very least I'll get some good Mexican food.

It was cold out today, ok so not really it was like upper 50's and low 60's but I was weaing a longsleeve shirt that was nice and toasty warm because the A/C at school is still on. But I didn't get swarmed with misquitoes this morning so that's amazing.

I need to write, before I get an essay assigned to me for English next week, it could possibly be the dreaded Senior term paper, which I heard has to be like 10+ pages long. Well...I am in the academic class though where half the kids fail so we'll see if it's that long. Haha. Not me...I have an A+...I think my teacher is amazed about that one. I'm wishing now I took AP Lang but oh well. Too late now, interims are next week so that means I'm what 1/4th of the way done with Sr. English! Yes! And I'm Half way done with Government! Thank God. Anyways it's hard to get myself to work on the story, I used to put off homework to work on it. Probably because it's come to the point where the main character needs to die and I can't bring myself to kill him off. Grr...frustrating.

Gotta Love Queen

Yeah, I'm jammin' to Bicycle Race by Queen entirely too loud but I don't care. New layout! I like my new banner better even though the blacks don't match....shh. Stupid "blogger black" grr. haha.

Oooh I just checked edline and I got an A on my Math quiz I took yesterday! Yes! Too bad today's math stuff is kicking my ass, I'm going to go see him tommorrow morning for helpppness. I'm sure it's some stupid thing I'm doing. I understand how to do it....but there's a select few problems on the homework that are making my head spin yo.

Oh and NFG put out a bullentin on Myspaceness with a behind the scenes video of Kiss Me....sooo funny. 15 minutes of pure enjoyment that really gets me hyped for next Tuesday.

For the record I have no opinion of the Brittney Spears VMA performance. I didn't watch the VMA's saw the clip online though. I just think it was funny haha but other than that...I'm opionless on this topic.

So many choices and possibilities.

So it's Senior year and I'm still toying around with what I want to do with my life after high school. My idea of college has always been moving away from home and living in a dorm. Now I'm not sure I want that. I'm not really sure what I want to do either.

My first thought was video production/editing ect...at Ball State or Valpo. But I don't know the more I get into it with people the less I want to pursue that. It doesn't make me happy, it stresses me out. One person yells at me to do one thing and another totally contradicts the other person. I trust the person who actually works in Broadcasting though as opposed to the guy who is soccer coach/mail man or whatever he is now haha. So I'm thinking about changing my goals. To something more fufilling.

I've been thinking about Culinary school as one of my other options. I could go locally, at Ivy Tech. They have an excellent program. And if I do that and want to get even more advanced training I could go to Chicago or somewhere. Cooking is fun for me. It's something I've begun to enjoy a lot. I like putting together meals and experimenting. I like the whole presentation with the colors and everything. We'll see, it may be a fallback option. If nothing else it's definately a course I would like to take later in life after I've already gotten an established career and have the time to.

Lately I've been thinking becoming a nurse wouldn't be so bad. There's a huge need in the medical field. And I know that's a job that I could count on a nice salary to payback my student loans which I know I'll have to take out. Plus the whole wearing scrubs thing instead of having to wear like a suit to work would be awesome. But then I wish I would've taken like anatomy in high school. But I suppose I can take those courses in college at a higher level. Plus I like helping people. I'm thinking maybe and ER nurse, something that would keep me on my toes. I realize I'd have 12+ shifts but I think I could deal with that.

This one totally suprises me but I've also been thinking about teaching. Maybe English or Family Consumer Sciences, or even computer stuff. I don't know, the only disadvantage I see to this job is going 3 months without pay, low salary especially starting out so paying student loans wouldn't be very easy. But I don't know....we'll see.


I guess my last thing I've been considering is marketing, I like trying to sell things and coming up with advertising solgans and such for products. I find it fun, but we all know that business world can be kind of cut throat and "man's world" heh. Plus I'd have to dress up for work haha. I'm all about casualness.

I don't know, I guess I'll have to decide so I can start applying to schools...really soon. Plus pick up scholarship information. Gah. Growing up sucks. But hey atleast all of my career options are pretty practical. It's not like I'm sayihng I want to start my own software company and be the next Bill Gates or something and I'm not saying I want to travel the country in a tour bus and party every night.

Ah well I got to get some lunch because I have to leave soon to go run cameras and lights again.

Mistquitoes Will Be the Death of Me.

I hate them! There are swarms all over. We have bunches just in the house, not to mention stepping outside is ls like swimming in them. I itch all over, I've got bites pretty much everywhere. So I have these lovely red lumps. I might as well have chicken pox or something with as many as I have. The city isn't spraying for them this year saying it costs too much money. I'll be sure to thank them when I end up with West Nile....which several pools have tested positive for. We can affored a new baseball stadium we don't even need....but we can't keep people from being eaten alive by misquitoes? Good God people.

I'm tired of being itchy all the time!

Kiss Me


Check out this video: Kiss Me



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This makes me extremely happy.

The Man of Metropolis Steals My Heart

Do you ever wish you could some how have all your memories burnt onto like a DVD. That way you could back to your favorite ones and replay them. Like you know all those moments that you never want to forget and could relive over and over and be ok with that? I wish I could.....just so I could hear his voice, be near him. Not argue over stupid things in IMs to make things ackward. Thinking his name...makes me want to smile. It gives me this warm mushy fuzzy feeling inside. It makes crave a hug....mostly from him.

Everytime you hear the L word...(love...I'm not really into saying it unless I truely mean it.) You think of him, and his smile. You think of him too much...and it makes you want to cry because you pretty much have come to the conclusion that you're in Love with a boy who will never love you back the same way.

You once had something that nobody could touch.....people saw it between you. You want that....so bad. You want that back. You miss that so much.... it's gone now....you don't know how you lost it but desperation drives you. You hold onto the feelings, and the possibilities.

My friend is gone, he ran away....
I can tell you, I Love him each day.....

It's Monday....

I'm thankfully not at school and I want Denny's! I keep seeing those commercials with the pancakes, eggs, hashbrowns and orange juice...it all looks soooo good. We don't even have a Denny's anymore....we used to have 2. One is now a car dealership and the other is an autoparts store haha.

But my mom is making Mashed Potatoes later so that makes me happy.

Sincerly Me,

Ohhh how I love popping in Cds I haven't listened to in what seems like forever again and then just jamming to them. This band will never ever ever get old. I'll always proudly support them. If you don't know who I'm talking about slap yourself upside the head now.

On a side note...I miss him and just want to talk to him in person. You know....hear his voice.

No school tommorrow. That makes me happy along with this CD. Take the good things while you have them.

You are my Sweetest Downfall....

I feel like....sleeping. For a long time. Plus I think I'm gettig a cold, I have the start of a sore throat and a stuffy nose. Strep Throat is going around at school. Oh jou.

I'm still lockerless, maybe I'll finally get a locker assignment this Friday during homeroom. We'll seee....as far I as I know we're just voting for homecoming king/queen. I don't even know when homecoming is. Hopefully it's not next week I'll feel robbed of a full homecoming because it's only 4 days instead of 5. Blah.

I'm a loser, I don't have a partner for my government project. Like we're supposed to. It's just easier for me to do projects on my own, that way I don't have to rely on anyway else and worry about them screwing it up.

Oh and I just got my hair cut like a few weeks ago right? It's already noticably grown haha. My hair is crazy like that. It grows supppperrr fast.

I really don't have much else to say...besides school isn't as fun as it used to be, even though we did get to watch Star Wars in English the past 2 days. Senior year so far = blah.

Family of Me.

So, I'm still lockerless, I've abandoned the book bag at home just to avoid getting sent to the office. If I don't ever get a locker I'm screwed especially come winter time.

Anyways, I think I'm kind of losing everyone. I don't seem to have anything in common with anyone anymore. I truely am becoming that hermit type person who just keeps to their self. And that in it's self is scary. One advantage to hermitnisim (ha I've come up with a name for it...scary) is that after one week of school I have straight A+'s, I've had homework assignments and quizzes so don't say I don't have any grades yet.

I thought about going to the Football game tonight. Decided not too, mostly because I realized I'd have no one to go with. Going to something like that alone is just weird and depressing. Plus it got rained out anyways. So oh well right?

The only date I have this weekend is a date with Math and English. Oh the excitement. I had more of a social life in middle school. Pathetic I know.

I Knew It!

So today was my first day of Senior year....it's supposed to be all grins and giggles right? Well...you obviously don't know me and the karma that follows me around.

First of all, the bus was wayyy late and the fire alarm thingy kept going off and it looked like I was making it do that because I was sitting in one of the seats with the emergency exit windows so I had to keep pressing down on the lever to make it stop buzzing. Gah. Luckily I avoided the rain while waiting for the bus so that's good.

I go to homeroom, and we have to change classrooms cause of Todor..blah. We get our lock assignments....good location....crappy ass locker, if you can even call it that. You know how most lockers have like a bottom to them, and a hook or whatever? Mine...doesn't. All I have is this door that opens up to dirty floor....no hooks and the handle for the top part is broken off so I can't even get that open. Gah. But a lot of people were given the wrong combos for their lockers....so the school had to call downtown and their sorting out the issue...maybe I'll get lucky and get a new locker all together?! *fingers crossed!*

1st Period Crowley's class aka Gov/Econ....not so bad except for I sit by some really annoying people. Damn alphabetical order! Atleast Kelly is in there....so maybe she'll help keep me sane and we can keep our book in the classroom.

2nd Period Advanced Foods, this class should be fun, I actually know some people in there and my kitchen group is pretty cool. Plus we get to pick our own recipes and make them...score. I have no complaints about this class.

3rd Period, Senior English. Gah. The teacher seems nice enough, but I have a feeling there is going to be a lot of homework involved unlike the previous two english teacher's I've had at Snider. We already have vocab words we have to learn for Wednesday and we have to read like 2o pages of stuff and have a quiz over it tommorrow. Plus we already did a journal thingy today which we had to turn in for points. Oh man....why me?

I have B lunch for the first time in my life. Which is ok...becuase Erin, Kieara, Emily, Clara, Amy, and a bunch of other people have it to. But lunch is chaos...we got a new computer system and it's all touch screen and yeah. But lunch has gone from a half hour to 40 minutes. I just have to haul ass to get down there so I won't have to wait in line forever.

4th period Pre Calc....teacher is nice....and well your typical quirky math teacher. All of my math teachers have been pretty quirky besides Mrs. Wells and I can't think of her name right now but I had her for geometry.....well I guess all the quirky ones were guys haha. Anyways, we're doing this worksheet so he can see how much we know...blah blah. So yeah, it should be ok. We're going to spend the first 18 weeks pretty much reviewing before we even get into pre-calc.

I made it out to the parking lot fairly fast and it was pouring out. We get out to Erin's car to find out that she had locked her keys in the car. So we run back to the school and I'm pretty soaked along with notebooks/handouts/and my lit book. Gah. But we got to talk to Tristan a bit so that was fun.

I came home and blow dried my papers, notbook, and text book....they're all kinda wavy....uh I hope I don't get charged for a damaged book and hope that it'll kinda unwave a bit. I also blow dried my shoes....and guess what!? It's supposed to rain every day this week but Wednesday. I think I'm going to get a rain poncho lmao.

Well I hope the rest of my year goes better than this. Today was just craziness. My head hurts gah.....I need to go read about Anglo Saxons or whatever. So I'm out kidz.