Just a Little Something

The State of My Heart....

So everything was going ok today, until I got to 4th period. It wasn' the class or the homework, it was the conversation going on around me. Now first off, I don't know their stories and they don't know mine. But I don't know if I'd go telling people a good way to get out of school is to go to therapy. Sure I think of the girls who disclosed a lot about her situation might need some but the other two...not so much. Sorry but not getting your way every time does not constitue being depressed and having a shitty day.

I sat there during the conversation, biting my tongue....well not literally but I held back anything I had to say and just did my work. It was another one of those situations where someone says something that offends you and they have no idea. But yet it really gets to you....the same thing happened last week when I was talking to one of my friends. I didn't want to say anything....to avoid ackward questions and silences. So I sucked it up and played along. Even though I did get a little snappy at them later. It's one of those situations where you try really hard just not to cry.

I need him right now. I just want to talk...nothing more. I've had this urge the past couple of days just to go over to his house and be like here I am...lets talk. Let's hangout...lets....I don't know. That would be the most amazing Christmas present ever to just spend some time with him....even if it's just for like 10 minutes...that's fine, I just....he's the one person I can count on to make me feel better most of the time because I get this crazy good feeling when I'm around him.