Wahhhh....

So I just got back from Target a little bit ago and they didn't have my shoes....wahh! So dissappointing. And I'm considering buying the 40 dollar real ones but then again maybe I should just calculate my shipping costs and go buy a target giftcard and order them online! YES! It'd still be way cheaper than buying the real deal...and these shoes....like speak to me...I dream about them geesh! Yes, that's what I think I'll do. Luckily my feet have stopped growing and I know what size to get.

So I have to start cleaning my room...I think I'll start with my desk first...I'm trying to remember when we had hostess cupcakes...there's a wrapper in my cd rack thing haha.

Tommorrow or later today I want to post some end of the year stuff...but I really should start cleaning....and yeah. Blah. Hey! I finally put those mp3s on my stupid mp3 player only to find out that the USB port that my cord was plugged into is now DEAD. UGh. So I had to take out my wireless adapter and plug my cord into it's dock just to put friggin' mp3s on my mp3 player. I think I need a new computer..one with USB ports in the front so I don't have to pull the whole freakin' case out just to put something on my flash drive GAH.

OhmeGEE lame...

So this morning I had a dream about going to this wacked out Target to get those shoes as mentioned in previous entry. Haha now that must be a sure sign that I gotta get em' yep.

I acquired a walmart giftcard today...so yeah. That requires going to the otherside haha as in it's across the street from mejier and all my people work at mejier and I've gotten accustomed to shopping there. Ah well I'm sure I'll find something to buy there...Like uh...I don't know I've been thinking about investing in a straightner...But I'm not sure I have the patience to use one haha. Or, I could get a movie or something. Ah we'll see no rush to spend it.

I actually worked on my History final today while the internet was down and did dishes like I was supposed to. Be proud of me....I deserve to spend that 15 bucks on those shoes dammit! They better have them and in my size or I'll be sad :-(

Ah well I'm hungry the noodle junk I had for lunch is wearing off.....I'm off to bug the rents about what's for din din.

Silly Kids!

Why do people think you'll get carded if you buy a parental advisory cd? You don't. Atleast not around here, and I've never met anyone who has been carded for buying one. For an R rated movie yes....but a p/a cd you've got to be freakin' kiddin' me. I've bought cds at basically every major retailer in town and have never been carded. Borders, Best Buy, Mejier, Target....they don't card. Geeze it just makes me laugh when I hear kids talking about how they were so glad they didn't get carded when they bought a parental advisory cd. I've been buying them since I was 12...the biggest problem I faced was convincing my parents that what was on the CD wasn't that bad at all...

I'm glad they didn't hear the Wayne Gretzky bonus track on the Goldfinger album I bought a few years back. Haha my headphones most definately got passed around to every person in my class on the way back from Cedar Point to listen to that song. Plus don't kids know that an easy way to avoid the hassel is just to download the p/a cds?!? derr....that way your parents probably won't find out anyways.

Eh whatever...the only worse thing is a censored cd...gah. Which is why I hate buying CDs at Walmart because all they have is edited versions. Gah. I bought Take of Your Pants and Jack there...and I came to find that after I downloaded it that they basically removed all the words from Happy Holidays You Bastard. Gah! Plus I didn't get the bonus tracks like Fuck a Dog , and When You Fucked Grandpa...and haha. Yeah. Same goes for Radio Edits too....But screw the radio..gah. May I express once more that I miss x102.3!! Gah!

Things I like always are discontinued...or if it's a band..they'll break up. Trust me on this one. I'm like a magnet for bad karma. Maybe I should've reposted those stupid chain letters that always get passed around because bad karma follows me like my pesky brother haha.

Hopefully 07' will bring better luck...*fingers crossed!*

*Insert Cheesy Title Here*

So there should be a law that says Sarah can't have a winter break because it makes her incredibly lazy. Plus it makes her sit on the computer too much which is baddd for her. It also makes her think about spending money and gives her the leisure time to sit and shop online for things haha. Like you know for things like these: http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/ref=br_1_12/601-1734262-2830558?ie=UTF8&frombrowse=1&asin=B000FDMWQM

Mostly because I'm too cheap to buy the real deal...and I don't like the checkerboarded ones because they make my feet look fat lol. I tried a pair on at Journey's last January..blue checkerboarded ones..HORRIBLE looking on my feet. So yeah, I think I might be making a trip to Tar-jey...(yes....Sarah pronunciation....deal with it.) this weekend to see if they have these puppies...if not oh well..I'm not paying 4 bucks for shipping. Psh. I only did that with my coolio jacket I bought this summer and it was totallllly worth it. I'd only do it if I had a target giftcard...which I don't. So yeah. I deal in straight up cash....gift cards are ok..but I always end up with like $1.50 left on them and never get around to spending that.

I've also been listening to a loooot of music. Yeah...pretty much constantly all day...my lastfm charts this week and next week are going to be pretty insane...they'll look like summer charts. Although I have cut some music that I have on CD out of my library to make room for more downloaded stuff. I've been getting into Sufjan Stevens and Lovedrug lately.

There are things I should be doing during the day....like learning lines for one voice and working on my History final, but I figure I have all next week to do that. Eh...TOMMORROW I'll start doing that stuff tomorrow just so I can get it over with. Gr.

Ah well the mommerz just got home so until next time....hasta luego!

Fa la la la la la.....

So...today was fun. Well third period was fun. First period was boring I sat and played games on miniclip the whole period. I suck at virtual tennis...haha. 2nd period we had a test and a "severe weather drill" Boring.

Third period was awesome, we had a white elephant gift exchange and the first thing I picked was this sushi set...and then it got stolen from me so I picked up another gift and got a porcelain shoe...ugh and that got stolen from me and I ended up with a coloring book, pop corn, and hot coco....atleast it was better than the stupid shoe. Then we broke out the food....oh man so much junk food, brownies, chips, salsa, cookies...yumness. Then of course we got the music going and people started getting crazy. Then we decided to play improv games. We played freeze and there were times where we were all literally on the ground laughing. Great class period. Plus we had a sub so we got away with whatever we wanted. The whole thrusting incident was great..and then the whole fake makeout session thing with Josh ("Bob") haha...good times. We were all really hyped up on sugar and excitment after that class.

4th period I was still buzzed from the sugar...so I couldn't like sit still....and now I'm crashing and like super tired...gah. So I think I'm gonna go lye down and wait for Home and Improvement to come on. OH YEAH, I finally got paid for my stupid thing I did at the Marriage Seminar although We were supposed to get 50..and we only got 30....ah well it's still better than nothing.

It's just the Same Old Story....

So basically you can just disregard the majority of my previous blog. Mostly because due to recent events that have occurred to Boy B this week...You find out how much of a jerk the guy is...and how boobs make all the difference to him...eh whatever.

That doesn't mean I disregard the part about Boy A though....I still have to be open to meeting new people ya know? But there's nothing more that I hate than a guy that shallow and sexist....grr.

Maybe it's time to give up on high school guys...and just wait for them to grow up...if that ever happens. Ha.

Sarah + guys always end up just being friends....and nothing more...Why? See above, among other reasons.

Taken Back by You.....

So I've made up my mind. I've finally decided to move on. Yes, I know that only took a bazillion years. But I have good reason for moving on. Boy A...yes I'm going to be talking terms of Boy A and Boy B just because I'd rather not say their names. If you figure it out....awesome job and good for you!

Anyways Boy A quite obviously is intrested and someone else and all I ever wanted for him was to be happy. So let those two be happy with and for eachother. We're still friends anyways so it's not like I've completely lost him. Plus obviously it was never meant to be. I lost my chance....I chose infatuation and didn't know a good thing when it was right in front of me.

This brings me to Boy B whom I met last year...and it wasn't until this year that I've gotten close to Boy B...I've told him things and he tells me things. We support each other. It's nice. Plus he's super nice. I think I know why I've been put in his life. I want him to realize his full potential and I don't think the people he associates with now help him realize that. Plus I find myself missing him when he's not there..and empathizing with him. And just wow....I think I'm really letting my start to get close to him. I don't think I've ever really done that with a boy before in this manner. I mean there's things I would never dare talk to Boy A about, that I've talked to Boy B about. Like sex haha. Even if it is in just a joking way....I don't think I could do that with Boy A he kinda freaks out...when I just mention 2 people making out or something. I think that if I was ever in a relationship with Boy A it'd be kind of ackward in the whole physical aspect of things mostly because we've been friends for what a few years now? But with Boy B....wow...I'm just comfortable. It doesn't feel ackward, going up and giving him a hug or anything. It feels right. Natural.

So...me and Boy B not officially going out or anything. I don't want to rush it ya know? But it's obvious that we both like each other and there's some kind of chemistry between us. Of course that's what everyone thought about me and Boy A....god...everybody thought we were going out. People were shocked to find out that we weren't. I don't maybe someday...just not anytime too soon. If someday our paths cross again and we get into a realtionship then so be it. But it's time for me to pursue other guys...more specifically Boy B.

So we'll see how this works out. At the very least I've made anothe great friend right?

What else?

So I'm writing a blog in an effort to get my mind off my homework that I'm putting off and to stop thinking about a certain guuuuuuuuuyy yes guy. Who yeah is in my 4th period class. Mmmhmm.... yeah. Let's not get into that k? K. :-D

So we went to Mejier last night and you people should so shop there because Matt, Erin and Tom work there..so yeah. Go say hi to them....I'm pretty sure I'll get banned from Mejier just for talking to the employees to much now haha. Anyways me and the mommerz were buying some stuffs and we were all done checking out and realized we forgot oil so she gave me the bags and I went out to the car. While I was waiting I turned on the radio. OUR RADIO STATIONS MAJORLY SUCK! Gah....I tried the Bear....oh good god..every song that they played sounded exactly like the one before it. Then I tried 91.1 and they were playing crap too. So I went to 102.3....formerly x 102.3 and they can't even play any decent spanish music...god atleast give me some RBD or Juanes...come on man your killing me here! So Finally I found and AC/DC song on Rock 104...and Queen came on after that...gah. I miss x 102.3 sooooo much. They were playing Folds, and Death Cab, and just so much more stuff that I like compared to all these other crappy radio stations we have. I guess I need to start remembering to take CDs with me when I go places. Or if I know I'm going to be in the car a long while bring my mp3 player with the thing that puts it on the radio...gah...it's so frustrating.

Alright well I guess I should go work on my Espanol Worksheet...blah blah blah...School sucks except for the people...the people rock...the work sucks.

Music...

So I'm bored and my lastfm charts have been updated for last week already and it was basically the 1st week of me listening to regular amounts of music and I feel like talking about them so there. We'll do the top 5 or 10 songs/artists/albums played ect....

118 different artists played this week
282 different tracks played
301 total plays

Artists
1.New Found Glory -16 plays ( are we suprised here? ^_^)
2.Ben Folds -14 plays (gotta love some Folds...ya know?)
3.Brand New - 13 plays ( first chance I got to listen to their new album this week...it's pretty dang awesome. I wish I would've listened to it more actually.....but I'm hoooked on shuffling music so yeah ehhh)
4.The Early November - 11 Plays
5.Prozzak - 11 plays (so....yeah...super catchy and awesome. Hard to find but I found it a few weeks ago and have been playing them quite a bit.

Songs
1.Baby, Come On by +44 - 3 plays ( love this song...)
2.It's Not Your Fault by New Found Glory - 2 plays (good song...not my favorite off the album though.
3.Don't Love Me That Way by Prozzak - 2 plays
4.Drugs or Me by Jimmy Eat World - 2 plays (the song has personal meaning behind it....)
5.Buildings by Regina Spektor - 2 plays (gotta love Regina.....)

Albums
1.Rockin' the Suburbs by Ben Folds (amazing album.....)
2.The Same Old Blood Rush by Cute Is What We Aim For ( just started listening to this band recently....)
3.Dusk and Summer by Dashboard Confessional (....ahh DC....just listening to them takes me back to April when I saw them live)
4.Le Tigre by Le Tigre
5.Room Noises by Eisley (can't wait for their sophmore release...it should be fan flipping tastic....)

So this is Me.

So the "special gift" that Bob gave us was either a code worth 10 bucks to take a personality quiz orr....a goofy t-shirt..ugh. So I took the code. And well the results are pretty cool wanna read em'? Too bad...cuz I'm posting em'.

First of all what country I'm from...the way it's set up you can either be from Control, Fun, Peace, or Perfect Country....haha yep. So here's where it said where I'm from:

Sarah voted for her Home country of Fun with a substantial 131 votes. She is filled with tons of energy and enthusiasm because she is from the land of excitement and good times. Finding ways to socialize is an ongoing pursuit for her. She is always looking for opportunites to meet new people or spend time with friends and aquaintances. Sarah is like a fast moving train that doesn't slow down because she's constantly in search of people who enjoy themselves just as she does. She has the ability to find ways to relate to virtually anyone. She needs people around her to feel truly fufilled. She loves to laugh and she makes sure that everyone is laughing with her as well. Peace country is Sarah's Adopted country. As her second "home", Peace Country is a place that she visits from time to time mostly likely because she is looking for more tranquility than her Home country is offering at the time. She values the good relationship building skills of the Peace people. She displays those characteristics, whenever she needs to get along with someone who may not agree with the ways of her home country.

On wether I'm soft or hard hearted:

Sarah is a mild mannered, Soft hearted woman, who voted highest for soft traits like peaceful, warm, and sensitive. She can always be depended on to be patient and flexible because she lives her life through her soft hearted nature. Because she is a very easy going and tolerant individual, people enjoy being around her. Sarah is always looking out for other people's best interest while being compassionate and considerate of their feelings. She tries to be concious of others' feelings because she never wants to offend anyone. She believes that being offensive often leads to conflict, which is something she that she tries to avoid whenever possible. Sincere, geniune, open realtionships are a high priority to her. With her soft hearted nature in her forefront, Sarah only reveals her Hard nature under certain circumstances. She gave the Hard traits such as, strong willed, consistent, and organized 13 votes, and can become hard natured if the situation requires her to do so. She wants to remain calm and flexible whenver possible but will approach things is a direct, straight forward manner if the softhearted way isn't working for her.

My Movivations in Life:

Out of 56 positive character motivation choices, Sarah turned down 51 to pick her top 5. For this reason, these 5 motivations, which compel her to live out her daily life, are key to her happiness. Sarah naturally looks at situations with hope and energy because she is Enthusiastic. This boundless Enthusiasm of her attracts people like a magnet. They want to get involved in whatever she's doing because her enthusiasm makes her ideas attractive, crediable, and desirable. If there is any way Sarah can make a difference or impact a life, or do something valuable, she'll find it. She must inspire because she cares about people and wants to help improve their lives. Her talent is lifting people out of their bad moods and cheering them up is rare in this world. It is very like Sarah to always want to know what is unknown. What's in that box? Who just drove up? Life seems like a continous quest for information. She likes the process of exploring and finding out "Why?" To her life is a gigantic mystery that needs to be solved.

When my best traits combine:

When Sarah's motivations combine, they create a set of different talents which enhance her ablities and allow her to do great things. Sarah uses her curiosity to search for orginal ideas about how to maintain her fianances so she can be assured every nickel is spent wisely. Because she has the energy to get people excited to listen to her, Sarah is a very influential person.

Talents:

Sarah's large green section indicates that she enjoys getting involved with projects and improving the task at hand. Since she excels in the area of Tasks, she has the ability to be good at any technical work where "hands on" control of the job makes it turn out better.

Sarah's large yellow segment shows that she loves innovation, creatvity, development, experiments, and new ideas because she likes to find ways to make improvements. It's hard for her to accept things the way they are. She believes there's got to be a better way!

Expressions that Sum Up essence of each Motivation in my task list thingy:

-Financial security, a priority
-Live and let live
-Exploring, asking, searching
-Ubeat Energy Always

"Are you in your Nothing Box?"

So...just got home a little bit ago from the marriage seminar...yes I said/typed it right, I've been stuck on saying wedding seminar all week haha. Anyways we were told to get there at 5. So we do....NOBODY ELSE IS THERE! Finally Busche gets there and lets us in so we go in and there's supposed to be these people who tell us what we're supposed to be doing and they don't show up till oh you know 6:20ish....Gah mind you this whole shibang doesn't even start until 7 so we're a whole you know 2 hours early..gah....and all they had to eat were cookies and fruit. EXCITING. They gave us all waterbottles and told us to run the lights and cameras.

It's funner than doing weddings though. Just cuz I'm up there with 3 guys and they're cracking jokes about what the guy is saying. So I have to be there bright and early tommorrow morning. Bob the tour mananger guy is giving us a specia gift...cash? haha.

So on the way home, we pass Jenny's and the friggin' Rat is out there shirtless shooting hoops....I swear I threw up in my mouth a little....gahhhh KEEP YOUR SHIRT ON! NOBODY WANTS TO SEE THAT....

So Josh (aka Bob or aka Drama class Josh) and Ian have decided that I need to start making women laws haha since you know on that Miller Lite commerical they're making Man Laws well I only have one so far and it's never date a guy who has bigger boobs than you. Unfortunately I think I broke that rule while going out with the Rat...ah to be young and stupid again.

Ah well I have to go get some sleep so not all of us are falling asleep tommorrow morning up there. We're thinking about all just bringing headphones and jammin...haha...oh and I'll be sure to fill ya in on the "special gift" from Bob.

For Real....

So atleast Mark Hoppus is man enough to actually sing when he does live performances, and you know not dance around like an idiot. Where as Tom DeLonge lip-synched at the whole Fuse 7th Avenue Drop thing....for sure, we all know he doesn't sound that good live.

Busy as a beaver?

So looks like this week is gonna be pretty dang busy.

Tommorrow aka Tuesday, the +44 cd drops and I want to go pick that up, chances are I probably won't get a chance to tommorrow though. I have to finish learning my shakespear monolog(I know it's not spelled right get over it.) that I have to perform on Wednesday. We're also starting fireworks tommorrow in Web Design...argh ugh..more photo editing software to learn oh jou!

Wednesday is performances, fireworks and the first reasearch day for my history term paper.

Thursday we're working on Santa Breakfast if all goes well. Also we have the whole 4th period class to work on our midterm questions....grrr...all my shows on are on Thursday as well.

Friday I have to work from 7PM-10 PM.....wedding seminar thing...I have to run the cameras to show up on the screen. Jou.

Saturday I have to work from 9AM-12:30 PM....day 2 of the wedding seminar...wouldn't do if it I wasn't getting paid because that's what 6 and a half hours of my life. GAH! Hopefully they'll take breaks somewhere in those time frames for potty/snack breaks.

So we'll see if anything else comes up...gahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

They Make me smile.....
{reposted from my the-n blog...this blog needed more cheeriness}

First NFG Song I ever heard was "My Friends Over You"...I was listening to my launchcast station mostly because I hadn't discovered the joys of owning cds yet. And this song came on...and wow. It was something new to me...something different from what I was listening to which at the time was Linkin Park, Trapt, System of a Down ect...nothing wrong with those bands by the way, I still listen to them. Anyways I wanted to hear it again so I searched them on that site and they had a music video for that song. I was instantly hooked, everyday after school, I'd come home and watch that video for hours upon hours. I finally got my hands on a copy of sticks n' stones. The only cd I owned at that time.I listened to that thing non stop all the time. I still know all the words to all the songs on that cd by heart. I wanted to hear more NFG songs so I went to Borders(stupid choice considering their prices are higher than Best Buy's...I was young ok?) and got Nothing Gold Can Stay and their Self-titled albums.

Man oh man that's where it started. I had to get the dvd that was out and haha you could say I was majorly obessed as a 7th and 8th grader. Seriously everything me and my friends talked about revolved around NFG. We went online and printed pictures off of them and yeah it was scary when I think back on it. I still like NFG and have since 7th grade, I'll probably always like them and they're probably always be one of my all time favorites just because they helped open up the doors to music that wasn't being played on the radio at the time. They got me off the radio...I started buying as many cds as I could. I used to buy them weekly. Now I still buy them just not as often.

I told my friends if for some awful reason I die young to bury me in my NFG shirt...that band means so much to me and it's a life goal to atleast see them live once. I would feel like I'd lived an unfufilled life if don't atleast get to see them live once. Meeting them would be icing on the cake but just seeing them live...wow, would be a dream come true.

Yeah....this was kind of fun to write about.

Mix Numero 3.

So, I felt like making another mix. Here's the track listing. Again...listen to in any order you want...not a big deal.

1. I Feel So by Boxcar Racer
2. Bad Days by Something Corporate
3. Home by Three Days Grace
4. Save Us by Cartel
5. Stay Together For the Kids by Blink 182
6. This Is Why We Don't Have Nice Things by Day At the Fair
7. She's Gonna Break Soon by Less Than Jake
8. Be My Escape by Relient K
9. Freshmen by The Verve Pipe

Download Here

It's Official, I'm Lamer than Lame.

So I just had a minor freak out a little bit ago because I couldn't remember how to spell Tuesday. So I typed it into word two different ways and it said both were right and that frustrated me even more. So finally I went to google and typed it in and it turns out I was spelling it wrong so it corrected it and I feel really stupid, because I can't spell friggin' TUESDAY!

So yeah, it's been rough, and atleast I'm not at the point of having another anxiety attack which involves nausea...let me tell you that blows big time. Because then I get even more anxious because puking stresses me out because I hate puking. Gah, I'm a mess aren't I?

I'm tired, I can't seem to sleep enough but yet my body rejects sleep when I want to and keeps me awake. So tired...so tired and old looking. I feel old, so stiff when I get out of bed...don't feel like moving. So weak feeling. Haven't been eating that great because of the whole nausea thing. Luckily like I said that's gone, thank God.

mmmm....I'm pathetic, that and apathetic. Yep. That's all I have nothing else to say.

Screw this...

So if I wrote down what I was really feeling/thinking right now...you'd all call me "emo" and never talk to me again. So screw it. I hate that word so I won't even attempt to begin to express myself....blah.

RAIN sucks. There...expression. HA!

I'm just a bad actor with a shitty script.

The End.

Kit Kats Rule...

So I opened a Kit Kat bar that I got last night when I went trick or treating with the lil bro..and it was ORANGE! haha awesome, plus it tasted like white chocolate..even better yummers.

Anyways I'm in the process of downloading dreamweaver now so I can work on my project from home. haha...shh.. don't tell the teacher that...he'd totally flip on me, on uhh the method I used to get it. If the stupid download even finishes today...we're going along right now at a 2KB/s rate...wow blazing right?

I go to fill in for Lord Licorice today, haha me and Curtis (Santa) got to have a sword fight with those plastic candy canes. haha...Oh and we got the party scene...we get to come up out of a trap door. Exciting! It's dark and crowded down under the stage...all the pirates and mermaids are down there at once before the 5th scene..chaos. We all yelled "HAND CHECK!" ah....yeah.

So I've noticed that a lot of people write in their spare time..not just like blogs or whatever, but actual stories. The least likely of people I know are writing things...which is kind of cool though when you think about it. It's cool that there's people who are my age, reading and writing regularly. It can' t hurt can it? I wish I had the time to read like I do in the summer...maybe I'll get some books before Thanksgiving to read over break....all 4 days of it ha. I need to see if I can reserve a copy of the last Lemony Snicket book....I need to find out what happens! Gah...yep...definately should get my name on that list. I miss having study hall to read in/do my homework in....man I got a lot done when I had that 1st period last year...greatest thing ever, you could sleep and basically do whatever you wanted...plus candy on Fridays...psh...oh well we still have fun...in every class but 1st period...BORING.

Well instead of boring you...I'm going to end this little dealy here.

PEEP, BLEEP, & SEEP

Me and Matt had the best time today in History class. We were in groups coming up with the pros and cons of prohibition which took us oh maybe 10 minutes so while the teacher is lecturing, we're sitting there doodling on this piece of paper and the teacher says something about Peep holes, so I draw this face and label it PEEP and Matt writes PEEP all around it haha....next I draw a girl and label it BLEEP, PEEP's Girlfriend...haha...so he writes BLEEP all around her...and finally, I draw a tiny little dude and name it CREEP but he didn't like that name so we changed it SEEP....yep. Lame...but oh so fun. One of my best classes this year....that and drama today...Kenny was working on his "boing" ...ah that Shakespear...funny guy...horny funny guy..ha! Or atleast the guy who wrote the adaption was.

I almost feel like I'm letting people down or no..maybe even myself down because I hardly ever blog anymore. I used to do it every single and write the most boring rants ever. I'm sure somedays I had my good political things, dreams, or something I'd written for school that I liked...but I don't know. I just feel bad posting something completely pointless that nobody but myself sees much worth in. So I guess what I'm getting to(yes I'm good at rambling...sue me!) I'm going to try and think of interesting things I want to talk about. Maybe I'll start writing about them in a slow Espanol class someday....there's lots of those trust me...Oh and Paco came back...(he's a bee...) but uh...we killed him...haha.

In short I went to school in a not so great mood and came out pretty copasetic...Tommorrow is Halloween....so I'm Definately not promising an entry..although I could tell about my Halloween when I was a freshmen....good times up in Busco. We'll see...

Action!

So I find it very ironic that the +44 CD bundles that are for sale on loserkids have MacBeth Shoes in them...haha wow that's great, so if you order thier cd from loserkids your putting money both into Tom DeLonge's and Mark Hoppus' pockets....wow. I guess if was +44 I wouldn't have associated myself with loserkids to come up with cd bundles....thiers are kinda dumb anyways. I did buy Catalyst from them but I got an NFG shirt with it and that was a great deal I only paid like 17 bucks for the whole shibang.

Anyways as you can see, no mix today. I wasn't in the mix makin' mood. I was in the get a warm blanket and chill out mood today. So that's what I did, and helped my brother with his 51st State Project. So yeah, excitement, I had a wedding yesterday and a church service today. I don't have to tape all November yay!

So...I have to go see Black Comedy sometime this coming week. Oh Jou...it should be good though. I just really don't want to stay after to help take down the set. blah. Stupid set committe...we're gonna get an F...I can see it coming, we're not organized at all. Put me with three control freak guys...and we get all kinds of differitiating visions and ideas, and nobody can make up their mind...and it's horrible, atleast rehearsal for being a mermaid went a little better. I got tired of sitting there onstage though...it was cold in there Friday.

I still need to find a play to go see outside of school, so if anyone knows one I can go to that doesn't cost an arm and a leg lemme know....I need to go see it before January something or other.

Ah well, I'm out of things to say....

Playlist Week 2

So here's this week's playlist. I think it kind of has more of an indie vibe going on. I'm not saying these bands are indie. I'm just saying more of that vibe with the guitars and drums and such. I don't know I just threw it together in about a half an hour. The only song that really doesn't fit is the mashup..but I liked it better than the regular version of the Sage Francis song Slow Down Gandhi. Anyways, here's this week's playlist. Maybe some Ben Folds next week? We'll see. Oh and listen to these in any order you want....this is just the way they happened to fall on my playlist on my computer.

1. You (Don't) Know Me by The Matches
2.This City is a Catalyst by Cordalene
3.You Owe Me an IOU by Hot Hot Heat
4.Wine Red by The Hush Sound
5.Deceptacon by Le Tigre
6.You're So Damn Hot by OK Go
7.Hands Down Gandhi (Dashboard Confessional vs. Sage Francis) by The Legion of Doom
8.Modern Man's Hustle by Atmosphere
9.Piece of Wood by Youth Group
10.Mean Old Coot by Zolof the Rock n' Roll Destroyer.

Download Here

So...

I went to school today, it sucked, I was in pain all day. I just wanted to be at home in my nice warm bed sleeping it all away. I feel eck right now as I'm typing this. Well..I'm really putting off working on my History final...haha whoops.

So the wedding thing must've gone pretty well, I have two more lined up to do. I haven't really thought about spending my new found source of income yet. I suppose I should save it and see what I get for Christmas...in giftcard/cash terms anyways. If I get a mall giftcard. I'm gonna get me a new pair of shoes. Slip ons just cuz I'm lazy...I'm thinking keds...not vans. Hmm...we'll see. If I'm alive then haha...I'm sure I will be but you never know.

Yesterday was interesting. to say the least, I didn't go to school, stayed home. The mommerz made me a doctors appointment at 4 something so I went and she was like Oh the meds didn't work...oh no. So it can either be some inflamatory thing or pneumonia(closer this time?) so take some more of these meds that didn't work, ibeprofen and oh go get a chest xray just incase. So...we went off to the imagining center and their xray tech had left for the day. So we go pick up the bro at the gramps house, then head to the hospital, where I get braceleted and everything even though it was an out patient procedure and I was only in there 20 mins tops, including registering and everything. Well anyways I haven't gotten any news about the xrays yet, because we had to wait for the radiologist to look at them and they were going to fax that info to my family doctor..so hopefully by tommorrow we'll know something. Yesterday was definately no fun at all. Don't get me wrong...today wasn't so great either and I definately think Ms. Hines and Mr. C could tell I was struggling just being at school today. My other teachers could care less.

Oh I got a 95 on my History Project....god best History grade I've ever gotten, I'm ranked 4th in that class! yes go me! Well...speaking of History I really really really should go try and get atleast 2 more of those questions done! grr.

Music for your ears.

So I felt like making a playlist for my umm...well my feelings toward someone I guess you could say. Definately not naming any names just to umm...prevent ackwardness I guess you could say. Just listen and the songs pretty much say the things I can't. And....even if these songs aren't directed at you....take em' anyways they're pretty awesome. Tracklisting for this mix?

1.To Be With You by Mr. Big
2.Down by Blink 182
3.What Sarah Said by Deathcab For Cutie
4.Stolen by Dashboard Confessional
5.Too Good To Be by New Found Glory
6.First Day of My Life by Bright Eyes
7.Wonderwall by Cartel
8.Here In Your Arms by Hellogoodbye
9.On My Mind by New Found Glory
10.Stay With Me by Finch
11.Just Like Heaven by Taking Back Sunday
12. I Don't Want to Miss A Thing by Aerosmith

Download Here

Some One Stand Up....

So school....it's becoming pretty risky just to walk in the place. It's like I'm somewhat putting myself in danger every time I walk through the door. I'm exposing myself to potential danger. There's atleast one fight every day...most days there's multiple fights. Some girl got raped on the gym upper deck this week. Kids are smoking pot and such in the bathroom by my History class....you can smell it in the hallway as you walk past. We now have 3 police officiers at our school while school is in session. The sheriffs department was out earlier this week too. Kids are threatening to do stuff....and not like just hit people....like major stuff. They might just be joking but they're acting pretty serious when they say that stuff.

Kids are angery, angsty, and violent. Let's face it that's our generation....completely driven by angst, hate, and jealousy. It's sad but true. Take a look around.....everybody trashes on somebody....a lot of people want to get even and do something they shouldn't do. American public schools are failing us...it's more about being safe than learning things. Not to mention we're learning stuff that should be updated....technology wise. Eh...college is the same way though. They don't keep up with the current. I don't see the point of taking a technology class in college when the stuff their teaching you was relevant 5 years ago and not now. No, I don't need to learn about DOS, or use Windows 95'....Vista is coming out soon and most schools don't even have XP. Pathetic.

We're using Office 2000 at school....we're using an old verision of dreamweaver....the internet at our school is like dial up. Shouldn't we be at a point where the whole school is wi-fi and everyone takes notes on laptops? But I know realistically this won't happen anytime too soon, purely because I live in the midwest and not everyone is made of money here and can afford a laptop with wireless internet adapters and such. I guess we're lucky to have a couple of colleges in town that are wi-fi. I'll be attending one of those in a couple of years. Hopefully I won't get stuck taking a java course with Professor what's his face who barely speaks English who I got stuck with at that Java course I took before Sophmore year. So....I'm done complaining about schools...It's just kind of disappointing I guess.

Time to move to AZ

So I went to the docotor yesterday and supposedly I have Bronchitis...so I got some meds and so far they haven't done anything and I still feel really blah. Feeling blah is no fun at all...trust me.

We started auditioning for parts for Santa Breakfast today, I've auditioned for a pirate, a mermaid and an elf..haha I'm hoping for either a pirate or an elf since I really don't want to wear a mermaid costume. Just because of that though I'll probably be a mermaid watch haha.

I can't believe it's going to be Thursday already tommorrow...this week has gone be incredibly fast. It's supposed to snow tonight/tommorrow too.....that's real nice if I infact I really have bronchitis....watch me get pmonia(I know that's not how you spell it haha)

Oh and so a small aircraft crashed into a NYC apartment building. I guess it's an accident as far as we know now though. I heard that it was a player for the Yankees? Eh....I don't know...sucks when stuff like that happens though.

Raisins...yum.

So it's Sunday. Tommorrow is school....again. Almost done with the first quater though....two weeks. Yes. That means halfway done with the first term. Yes. Only bad part is that means I'm closer to 2nd term...aka homework hell. Haha. We'll get to that when it gets here. So many things left in 1st term to look forward to.

So I have a job next Saturday. Work an hour taping a wedding and get 25 bucks. Not bad if I do say so myself. Simple stuff. Just messing around with a joystick and pushing some buttons, easy cash. If you hadn't noticed I pick up odd jobs all the time haha. So, since I found a hidden 10 bucks in my wallet and people owe me approximately 26 dollars that means I'll have 76ish dollars once everyone pays me back. I need to get on Anthony and Erin about that lol...

I got some stuff for the Grudge 2 yesterday in the mail. I'm gonna try to find someone who wants the shirt it's an XL..and me and XL shirts...come on now. Adult smalls tend to hang off my shoulder(s) a bit.

We rescued a toad again today. Yep. We took a pic of it...and put in my brother's little container thing while I mowed then let it go after I was done.

So I'm gonna go color or something until the Amazing Race comes on...because I'm cool like that :D

Packing Peanuts?

So I no longer have a history project hanging on my shoulders. Yes! I chose not to put my partner's name on it, soley because he did nothing and I did all the work. No way, is he going to get half the credit for it. I'm not stupid...unlike him. Ha.

Anyways Friday was pretty good. We started writing for Santa Breakfast for Drama...haha it's going to be awesome. Lets just say, Pirates, Mermaids, CANDY LAND! haha. Come see me!!! December 9th...you get breakfast and your picture taken with Santa! Come on you know you want to! Haha shamelesss plug?

Today I went to the mall...didn't buy anything haha. Ran into Nicholas...the cuz out there. That was pretty cool. Then I went to mejier and got a cool coloring book and waved to all my cashier friends which was the highlight of the trip...Matt, Erin, and Tom...even though I accidently called Tom Matt haha....whoops. He's like can't you read my name tag?!?! haha. The lady he was checking out started laughing it was great.

I just finished watching Plus 44 makes a video. So pumpd for that album in November....of course I'm excited about Brand New's too..yep.

So...I'm tired and I want to watch SNL if I can stay awake so tis' all for me now.

Squintyyyyyyyyyy

So...tommorrow is Tuesday and my costume hasn't exactly turned out as planned mostly because clothes don't ever fit me like imagined. They're usually humungo. Yep. My dad's white button down shirt is pretty big on me....I can't tie a tie with crap....and my pants are too tight so I can't tuck my shirt in lol....oh yeah and I don't have a black blazer. OHH and the uh..arms? is that what you call those things on sunglasses well anyways they're orange and not black...wahh....I did find a black marker though. I have to come up with a fantabular costume for Senior year...fyi...next year haha. Can't wait.

So I guess it's an alright costume if I don't get busted for my hat and sunglasses. I'll probably take my sunglasses off in class...just so I can see when we usually have the lights off for those projector things we always seem to do.

Ohhh and no computer again...well internet or updation again until Friday or Saturday....call me if you want/need to. I'll update you on the oh so exciting life of muah....haha now that's funny.

Hasta Luego Kids....

Tuseday

It's a Shame...

NFG only sold 31,251 copies of their album the first week. They sold 150,000 + with Catalyst the first week and 90,000+ the first week with Sticks and Stones...gah. That's just wrong. If it wasn't for NFG more than half the bands that are around today wouldn't be doing as well as they are. It sucks it really does. I haven't let any of my friends borrow it..telling them to go buy it. But...I don't think any of them have bought it though. I guess there hasn't been any radio or excessive MTV playage this time around. Ah well they still have loyal freakin' fans.

Plus there's a rumor going around about them doing a Spring Tour with Taking Back Sunday. But sadly I only see people going to see TBS...plus it'd be a co-headlining tour...gah....but people also speculate that Eisley would open. Don't get me wrong if it came to Indy...I'd so be there.

I did notice the lack of copies at Best Buy when I went to get it last Tuesday....of course when I went to get Louder Now, Best Buy was out because they didn't stock enough of them. They only order like 50 copies or something and they sold out before afternoon hit. That was real smart of them. Now the new Dashboard CD that came out in uh..June I think? They had bazillions of copies of that and like everybody in the store was buy it. Why? becaue Dashboard played the Fort in April and people started listening to them again so they could learn the words for the show...so we get new fans....NFG play the Fort! Pleeeeaaaasseee Oh...we'd sell out...I'd buy as many tickets as I could and drag friends along with me...and we'd get there super early right after school to wait in line..if we had school that day...that is. And I'd be seeing NFG with my friends and that would kick so much ass. Definately would get the floor and take someone who's taller with me haha.....Floor isn't too great for short/small people like me. I need to grow like a foot..that'd be perfect. Of course I'd want to get as close as possible so if we were on the barrier..kick ass. Since crowd surfing is band at the colisieum....Gayyy...so is moshing...ahaha Chad would take care of that.

I'm rambling...time to end the entry!

Frames and tables oh my!

So...my head hurts excuse me while I insert a totally random quote that I always think of when my head hurts; "Ow....my head hurts *weird laugh*" So now that I got that out of my system I can continue.

School is a drag. Web Design can be so bland and boring. I get tired of sitting in silence except for the clicking of keyboards. I'm really tempted to ask Mr. Todor if we can listen to music. He'll probably say no though. I'd work so much better if I could listen to music in that class. He's giving us our projects tommorrow. Gah I'm two assignments behind...it's his fault...he gave us like 10 of them today. Ah I'm almost done with the Greyhound one..but I haven't started the athletics page yet. But we get to make a music website....yessss...

Oohh Drama presentations....BORING!

I saved a toad today. Yep, it was pretty awesome. It jumped out right infront of my feet when I was mowing the back yard today. So I stopped the mower and gently poked it with a tiny little stick until it hopped into the neighbor's yard. That was one of my good deeds today ^_^

Oh and the hearing test guy's service worker officially rules...haha I was his 1st period last year and now Erin is his 4th period this year. Yep...we're cool like that.

I've started to solve some of the Dramarama from yesterday so that's good news. I'm not so stressed about it...well I wasn't really stressed just more worried than anything. I'm still kinda worried. Hopefully things will be ok.

I need a costume idea for costume day at school next week. Last year I was an m&m...something monoply themed would be cool...I might just do nudist on strike if I can't think of anything haha. Simple costume...paper and a safety pin...but very clever if you think about it.

Ah well I feel like a twix....too bad we don't have any.

Drama Rama

And it's not just the class...yes I am working on that project right now. And I'm taking a break from that. I was going to look up furniture prices..or lumber prices or something for my set. But I have a lot on my mind right now.

I have about 4 people I need to talk to asap...cuz some serious shit is going down. I know for sure that I'll be able to talk to two of them tommorrow at school...and one of them is a teacher and it's really just a question about the history project so that's no biggie the other three are going to be brutal....2 guys and one girl. But...I know it has to be done....something has to be done and Im going to try and help the situation the best I can. I guess it's time for me to step in and be mediator. But hey, I'll do it if I have to. Just wish there wasn't so much pyshical distance..as in mileage between the main two people I'm mediating for...that's gonna make it super tough. Ah well I'm going to try my best. Wish me luck!

I Don't Want a Job.....

But yet I should probably start looking for one. Mainly because I can get my liscense within uh 2 weeks!!! AH yes! But that doesn't mean I'm going to be getting it then so don't have a cow. I need the cashola to pay for insurance, gas, and possibly to help fix a car for me to driveizzzle....

I remember in like 6th or 7th grade I had like 1 cd..yeah P.O.D. was my first cd I think...well actual band cd, I got a compliation disc first I guess. But then....yes then I got Sticks n' Stones...god I listened to that thing all day every day. Probably atleast 10 times a day. I remember when I was playing it at night while I feel asleep and how at the end of The Story So Far there's dead silence for like 30 some minutes after the song ends then there' screaming and the guys start going "There's somone in your house" I wake up all freaked out by it..haha I told Erin and Miranda about that...I'll never be able to live that one down. Getting a cd back in the day was a big deal. Is it parental advisory...blah blah...psh my parents could care less now. I have more music now than I can fit on my mp3 player. Yeah I'd definately start and ipod fund if I got a job. I'd have 4 funds...insurance/gas/car repair fund, buy my own car fund, ipod fund, and college fund....yep and maybe even some spending mooolahh to have some fun with you know? haha but on minium wage..yeah right.

Went and saw Jackass 2 yesterday with Erin and Kieara...ah so funny. Had to buy a ticket to Bruce Lee though....since uh...I can't buy tickets for R movies yet though haha. And you have to be 21 to buy mulitiple R movie tickets...blah..oh well. Only 6 months until I'm 17. Yep..I'll be 16 and a half on the 31st of September. :-)

Ah well I think I'm going to go do something else.....cuz I'm pretty bored sitting here. Might check out the park at noon to see if Dan is really playing football over there. haha.

You have my heart in your hands....You have my heart don't let it go

So I'm sorry I haven't gotten around to posting those tracks yet. I just got the last of the five today. Hopefully this weekend I'll get them up. Going out tommorrow for awhile.

ER starts tonight...the season finale last season really left you hanging. So I'm excited about seeing what happens there.

I recieved a lot of compliments today on my hair of all things. People said I looked older and that my hair was nice and such. I was like Whoa O.0 what are you talking about? My hair? It sucks. Me looking older? You've got to be kidding me. Plus I noticed more people paying attention to me today...hmm....I saw a certain guy today...that was pretty nifty. Haven't seen him all year..well since last school year anyways.

So....mes thinks I need to hangout with some certain people pretty dang soon because I miss them lots and lots. I'm hanging out with Erin for a bit after school tommorrow then coming home to freakin' sleep man..I gotta catch up on my sleep sometime ya know? But yeah I missssssss you guys like CRAZY!

Homecoming theme was announced today, well I found out what it is anyways, it's board games...ugh ugh, first thing I said was wow...that was our theme at Concordia when I was a freshmen there. So yeah...ugh ugh ugh. We do have pj day..no hat day though?! Oh there's costume day that should be pretty fun. For pj day wow I'll probably just wear some shorts and a hoodie..haha. I don't know. Depends on how cold it is.

Oh and the title of this entry...mmm well warm fuzzies or cold pricklies? haha that didn't make any sense but I'm gonna pick warm fuzzies. So I have nothing else to say kids...

I fail at life....

So Sorry but no bonus tracks today because I'm tracking down one more....itunes USA bonus track...that way I can give you 5 bonus tracks. Yes 5. So hold onto your shorts kids....I'll get those up there tommorrow. If I find them tonight I might yousend them tonight and get on here while I'm bored at school and get em' up. We'll see what Mr. Todor has me doing tommorrow....more administrative work? hmm...blah.

Let's Slit Our Wrists and Burn Down Something Beautiful....

I'm so fed up with going to school it's not even funny. I'm just tired of the way the whole deal is set up and run. It's a joke, it really is.

Today was the biggest waste of time of my life. Isteps started today. I did absolutely nothing. I didn't take a test...I sat there in first period and x'd off names on a list....teacher's or administrative work. In 2nd period which is Spanish we watched a video about sharks...and that's it. That didn't even take up the whole period. Third period we just sat there. We just took notes 4th period and that's it.

You want to know the joke though? The students. The students have no respect for anyone or anything. Some do, most don't. They think they freakin' own the place so they stand in the middle of the main hallway today while people are trying to get to their busses or whatever. So I push my way through so I can get a ride home. Then some guy elbows me in the stomach. I was so pissed. I just wanted to yell at him if you weren't fucking standing in the middle of the hallway I wouldn't have to push my way through. Then we get on the bus and all they have going arcoss the radio is how they have 70+ students on a bus and they keep having to pull over to yell at the kids.

There's something seriously wrong here and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of being talked down to by people. Tired of people making assumptions about me. I'm tired of going to school where I'm at. I don't know where I could transfer to though. I seriously would love to. Most of the people there piss me off so much...

You know what I'm doing though? I'm covering up the hurt with anger because I'm only giving you half the story about why I'm so pissed. I choose not to get into the other part. Just because yeah...what the other people did was really wrong of them to do.

I felt like yelling or crying or I don't know..several times today. People suck. Well most people suck. I don't want to go back. Honestly I don't know how much longer I can handle this crap. That's what it is too...crap.

The highlight of my day was seeing that my Mark Hoppus cookie poster that I made last year has been put back up. Yes.

Oh and I'll get those Japanese bonus tracks up later.

Gah..I have no self-control!

So I have something to confess. I downloaded the Japan version of Coming Home about a week and a half ago. But I swear I just started listening to it tonight. I listened to the leak in it's entire-ity(lol sp?) on pv and that's it. I'm still going to go buy it!!! I just wanted the Japan bonus tracks...all yes 3! of them! I'm still gonna head to best buy tommorrow yayz!! I love new cds it's so exciting! Just think in November I'll be super stoked..Plus 44 and Brand New...good god...so much music!

I'll bonus tracks tommorrow via yousendit or megaupload. Just for you guys cuz I'm cool like that...no I'm really pretty lame but I like to share things!

-Make It Right
-Golden
-It's All Around You

"Hot Pockets & Xena Tapes"

Me and my brother's favorite line from the movie uhh Journey to the center of the earth...atleast that's what I think it was called. The little hacker dude said he could do his job if had some hot pockets and Xena tapes...haha.

So I'm trying to decide if I feel really cool or really lame sitting here eating sour cream and onion pringles and drinking artic shatter flavored powerade. Wearing my super comfy and warm new hoodie. haha..you tell me...cool or lame? haha.

Aren't pringles the best though? You never call them chips...you call them pringles...they're all shaped the same and all the same size....with regular chips there's all kinds of shapes and sizes. They're probably really bad for you along with everything else but you know screw that, they're too dang good!

I need to buckle down and pull my grades up to A's in the next 4 and a half weeks. Well atleast in Espanol and Web Design which should be easy in those classes. I can probably mange to do that in History too. I have a feeling I'm getting a B in drama....that teacher is too critical and picky. I'm going to wow her pants off with this new project she gave us that involves marketing a script for a play. I took Marketing last year...Mark Hoppus cookie poster haha...you know Mark Hoppus eating a cookie brought people in the school store!

Oh yeah I'm going to kick ass at school watch out...I'm pumped, I'm full of energy, it's Monday and I'm drinking powerade! Ahhh.....I'm mostly pumped because TOMMORROW THE NEW NFG CD DROPS!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!

Well....I'm going to finish up posting my first round on the-n for today then go start to read a play. Then start working on my presentation. Super Sarah!! Yeah...I'm wayyy to hyper right now.

A Thousand Faces We'll Choose to Ignore....

I seriously got chills the first time I watched :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7hizQK07b4 Plus 44 performing No It Isn't....there's also a vid up of them performing Lillian...I definately can't wait for this album.

NFG Tuesday...I'm about to go check the ads for Best Buy ect...to see who has the best price.

Oh and my Dad was flipping channels yesterday and he stopped on CD USA and Hellogoodbye was performing haha, He's like who do these guys think they are ABBA? haha. So apparently Hellogoodbye sound somewhat like ABBA. Or he said they sound like Disco stuff...ehh...who knows, can't say I listen to ABBA.

Yeah so I just wanted to talk about music for a second so there : )

You've Won Me Over..In No Time At All....

So I did a little shopping today and got a couple of pairs of jeans and a hoodie. I went to Steve & Barry's....everything in the store is $7.98...yes everything. They have no juniors section though weird. So I went to the girls section since the smallest jean size they had in womens was a 4. I found some 16's and 14's in the girls section. I tried them on and the 16's were too big so I got 2 pairs of 14's and then a navy blue zip up hoodie that says rock star on it hehe. 2 pairs of jeans and a hoodie for 25ish bucks. Not a bad deal. I should have plenty of jeans now...hey I have enough pairs to wear a different everyday of the school week. Sweet.

It's Friday that means....Football.....HS football anyways. I don't go to the games but I keep up with it on the Telly. We play Luers tonight....Luers is Undefeated or is that Dwenger? Either way they could very well beat us.

Oh and that means only 3 days!!!!! YAY!!!

School is killing me. I've never been so exhausted from going to school. Even when I had P.E. First period is killing me. I've never been so sore after a class. Not even P.E.....I plan on sleeping this weekend. Sleep sounds vonderful...

Ehh...I'm out of things to say....later kiddies.

It Was Just a Few Years in the Making Now...

So let's think hypothetically ok? This is purely a hypotheical situation....which isn't completely false. I just feel the need to talk about it and get it outta my system. So I can maybe do some homework.

Ok so there's girl....lets call her Rose (haha that came outta nowhere)..and there's this guy lets call him Bruce(asian guy from survivor last season as inspiration lol). Anyways Rose likes Bruce, Rose told Bruce this a couple of times. But...Bruce likes this other girl, lets call her Alicia and Alicia is torn...between Bruce and lets say a guy named Pablo (spanish names hehe.) So Alicia is torn and doesn't know what to do because both Pablo and Bruce like her.

Meanwhile Rose is standing in the background on the outside of that whole shall we say "Love Triangle" waiting to see how it plays out, even though Rose really shouldn't know about the whole situation. Because it's really none of Rose's business, and Rose should just keep her nose out of things and not get involved. Because Rose knows that Bruce is happy and that's all Rose wants....

Rose wants to let go and move on, because yeah.....it's just time for Rose to let go. Rose struggles with this. Rose is just as confused as Alicia probably. Then to top it off Rose gets asked out by someone else who she's definately not really into and is scared of hurting that person's feelings.

Rose has a gut feeling that Alicia will pick Pablo over Bruce though...so that just adds to the confusion. But Rose also knows that's nothing is for sure. So....Rose just decides to stay out of it and let whatever happens happen.

Wow...compeltely hypothetical keep that in my mind. It just kinda popped in my head today at school.

In other news(haha I sound like a cheesy news anchor)...my arms are swollen. Not much but enough to make em' hurt...oh yay..ehh. Which is why I should get off the computer now. Ehh..until whenever Hasta Luego!

Don't Leave....Don't Leave Me Here...

I never said that I didn't need you put down your arms and wrap them both right around me...right around me

The New NFG album is going to own....almost as much as me....a minja... :D All next week should pretty much own too...I can't wait!!! I haven't been this excited about something since uh....Miranda's party maybe?

P.S.-I have old lady hands...lol all boney and arthritisy/carpal tunnely..lol Web Design is killing me I'm so stiff/sore after that class it isn't even funny. I want to say Mr. Tudor pleeassee don't make me type.....it hurtssss which is has begun too....50 degrees in the classroom and carpal tunnel don't mix.

It's Not Your Fault......

No matter how hard you try to forget things, chances are you'll never forget them.

I thought it was neat today in Spanish when we talked about where we were on 9/11 5 years ago. Of course I posted about what happened to me about a month ago in this journal. Check the August Archives if you really must know. It's kind of interesting though to hear everyone's story. Everyone's is different, share you story with me. I like reading things or talking about things.

In other non related to 9/11 things NFG's album has been leaked on PV and I'm listening to it right now. So far the only song I haven't heard that I've gotten to is "On My Mind" and wow....does that hit home right now. Anyway, so far it's different from old NFG, different but a good different. It'll be in my cd player for awhile after I get it next Tuesday. I'm only going to listen to it all the way through once today and that's it until next Tuesday. I swear. Cuz tommorrow it'll be on bittorrent for sure.

Someone once brought up something in a class of mine.....basically it was this "Anger is just a cover up for hurt..so basically hurt is anger." We discussed it a lot that day. I didn't really say anything because I was afraid of disclosing too much information...But think about it, don't you think it's true? Anger is easier to deal with than hurt so we turn our hurt into anger. I'll admit, I'm guilty of this.

I like getting off on random tangets so here's another one for you. We were discussing this in the lunch line well besides the joy of having chocolate pudding haha. Anyways has anyone noticed that now days a lot of the times girls ask out the guys? I have. That kind of goes against how our ancestors did it. The guy was always the one who did the asking. I guess now women are in more of a power position and are more "ballsy" than men. Haha. So we're going to take charge and not mess around. Ha. I can come up with a whole list of reasons of why women are stronger than men. But I think I'll save that for another time. Just things I've learnt from personal experience or have noticed about people at school and such.

Ah well I'm going to go post on the-n and finish listening to the NFG album....yay!

The Day is Grey....I Don't Love you....anymore

Too bad it isn't that easy.

I'm not sure of anything anymore. Everything is changing. There's no one left to count on.

At this point I'm too upset about things to even talk or see some people again. I know I'll eventually get over this but, I tried last year and wasn't able to let go. My mind says let go...my heart doesn't. Like I said yesterday, Feelings suck.

And I feel like....

Feelings suck sometimes don't they? Like the feeling of lonliness. That's what makes weekends suck so much. They're always so lonely. Everybody is out having fun, doing something they'll talk about on Monday morning at school.

Not me...I'm never invited along to those kinds of things. I would go do something myself but I can't until I get my liscense. Plus I need a job before I can drive anyways. Stupid insurance and gas. Once I get a job I'll have no life still anyways. I'll be working all the time. I suppose that's better than sitting around feeling useless.

Is there a time to let go of people? People whom it seem like you have absolutely nothing in common with anymore? Once friends but now more like aquaintinces. Some things are coming up and I'm questioning relationships that I have with people. Not a lot of people. Just some people. People are finding themselves. Making decisons that could ultimately change/affect their lives. I know I should have an open mind and not discrimante against them. I'm not going to, it's just that some of the decisions they make, make me wonder what made them decide to do that? I guess I haven't completely found myself. I'm getting there. I've already decided some things that I want to stick by in my life. Things I won't force down people's throats. Things I believe to be right.

I'm utterly bored with life. There's nothing to be excited about, nothing to look forward to. I need new music or something. It seems like all the music I'm listening to is really stale. I even resorted to listening to Launchcast today. Oh yeah I listened to S Club 7 again today on there, "There ain't no party like an S Club Party.." haha. I need something new, something fresh, something exciting.

Excitement gets those little endorphins released in my brain and makes me feel amazing. Someone excite me....give me links to bands to listen to, tell me something that'll suprise me, give me a hug....yes a hug is pretty exciting haha. It makes me feel good about myself anyways...Gah well it doesn't hurt to ask does it?

School Lunches Still Suck

So...some girl made fun of me in the lunch line today for not having a tan. Lame. Especially when I'm standing right behind her. She could've atleast waited until she was seated somewhere to go and talk about someone...ah oh well, I'm not down at their level ha!

There was also a fight today at lunch between a white girl and a black girl....didn't get to see it though. They did make everyone leave the cafeteria while they hauled the girls out to the squad cars. So we stood around in the hallway since we got out of lunch early. I'm always missing the fights. I only saw one last year in the morning in the cafeteria.

I'm really tired, so tired my eyes hurt. Which is probably a sure sign to get off the computer right? haha. I'm sooooo sore too from typing so much in uncomfortable positions. The chairs in our computer labs at school suck. And sitting there entering code for an hour and a half in an uncomfortable chair sucks. Then we went to the lab again in 3rd period.

I watched Flight 93 last night. Just wow...just seems like yesterday all that 9/11 stuff was happening but yet it was 5 years ago, that's hard to believe. I've heard that the war on terror has now gone on longer than World War II. Don't quote me because I'm not sure if it's true information or not.

Too tired to continue....maybe another update this weekend? We'll see. Maybe a song or playlist for you to d/l....hmm...it's an idea.

MMmm...New Found Glory

I just have to start off by saying that I think NFG is going to blow up hugely once September 19th rolls around. Especially after all the msyeterious..."whoa NFG NICE!!! or NFG ROCKS!!!!" comments on my web design comment sheets. Oh yes all the "Hardcore", "Scene" kids are getting back into them either that...or they've secretly loved them all along...come on you know you love em'! I've seen people's myspace pages and I always check out the music section and more and more people are listening NFG as a band that's one of their favorites. 12 days! Whoo!

Moving on....I'm pretty much procrastinating right now. I really should be writing my rough draft for Drama....that I should've done yesterday. Whoops. I'm pretty sure I have a decent idea though and have a better direction as to where I'm going with the piece than I did with the picture.

Lunch still sucks...but other than that school is decent. Oh and all the kids in my Web Design class who like The Goonies...you guys rock....GOONIES NEVER SAY DIE! Yes! Randomness tonight so that's it, I need to channel my energy into actually doing something productive now.

So I'm tired...ohhhh so very tired. I should probably go to bed but I'm not, just because I feel the need to blog.

We have to write another piece for Drama gahhhh this time I'm going to be Rosa Parks. Hopefully I'll be able to use a dialect this time since I'm finally pretty much over my cold. Yay for that!

We had a college planning meeting thing today during US History. Excitement. Heh. The best part of the whole thing was hanging out with Kevin, Nicole, and Bev. Oh and I got told twice today that I need to eat more. I kept telling them that they should see me eat. I dunno I suppose only eating twice a day has something to do with me being skinny. We did the little calorie count last year in foods class, I was below my 2,000 calorie a day limit. I got like a 1400 or something...an no I don't count calories I just eat what I want when I want. I bet some days I go wayyy over.

So I'm sitting in Web Design and we're about to go around to everybody's pc's to look at our First projects and critque everbodies annoymusly...(shhh I can't spell..) and suddenly I start looking at mine and I realize it's complete crap. It's sooooo BORING and PLAIN and I wanted to sit there and just delete the whole thing. It was a good experience though I got a chance to see other people's work and find out what other people in that class are into. We continue on tommorrow and I get to read my *announomus haha critques. Hopefully I was helpful in the ones I left.

So I pretty much feel disconnected from everyone right now. I feel like I haven't talked to my friends in forever....in some cases it's kind of true and other's I just talked to them today or recently. I almost feel like I need to constantly be in touch sometimes. Like I need to have that person who I know I can call at any time of any day and just vent. Not like I've ever done that but it'd be like a security blanket you know? Just someone you can always count on to be there for you and support you when you need them....or it could go the other way too when they need me.

I feel like I'm getting really random in this journal entry but I don't really care.

Do you find it hard or weird to talk about yourself? Sometimes I feel that way. I guess I don't really know how much information I want to disclose about myself to other people sometimes. Some people are the total opposite though and will tell a complete stranger their whole life story. I just don't think I could do that. I'd be constantly questioning everything I'd be saying. I'd think that I'd said something that offended them or made me sound stupid or something like that.Back to the whole website thing, we had to write a tiny little bio....I didn't even know where to start...I felt weird sharing information about myself to complete strangers whom I'd mostly never met in my life before. Plus I guess there's just some things you don't want some people to know about you.

Hmm....there's some stuff for you people to wrap your heads around....I'm going to go catch some Zz's....

First off R.I.P Steve Irwin. I seriously grew up watching that show. He made nature fun and exciting. He always had great enthusiasm. He'll be missed in the animal planet TV world...if they even show his show anymore...I haven't watched that channel in awhile.

I lost my what I think is my last baby tooth today. Yeah, Yeah...my family grows slower than most ok geesh. I'm 16 and just lost my last baby tooth pathetic I know. But I'm glad it's finally out it hurt like hell.

I have to try and wake up on my own for the next uhh week or so for school. This is going to be tough. The mommerz is out on a cruise with the g-pa.....Me getting myself up at 6:30....uh we'll see. I might have to excersise my option of riding to school with Erin if I miss the bus haha. Ah well atleast I'll still be going to dreaded school. Blah.

One thing I'm going to try to work on in my free time at school this week is work on my essay for the NFG contest. I'm gonna win I swear! It'll be me and 5 of my friends flying to NYC for a private show...and we're going to get Chad Hugs!!!! haha hey dream big! If you don't try at all then you won't even have a chance of getting to that private NYC show. Chad Hugs here we come! Oh and I'd most definately be willing to skip school to fly to NYC to see them too. Umm....death in the family or sick, I think so. Or even better just use my college visit days...that's the ticket. I'm touring Colleges in NYC the next two days....bye.

The only catch to that contest is that the essay has to be about my favorite NFG song and I can't pick one! I got Miranda to enter and she picked Boy Crazy....I told Erin about it but I don't know if she's done it. Hopefully one of us wins. I think I'll have to listen to all my NFG so I can work on picking a song. Alot of their songs have potential and also most of them have rotated their way through being my favorite song at one time. Gosh this is going to be hard.

Ah well I'm going to go pack my stuff for school tommorrow incase I wake up incredibly late and just have to get dressed and go to school. So......laterz kidz.

Blahh!!! Being sick sucks, especially the mornings. My head is full of gunk....ha gunk. It's all blow your nose and cough these disgusting coughs that are awful. My family has dubbed them Smoker's coughs because it sounds like I smoke a few packs a day. Which I don't.

See this is what happens when you go back to school. You get sick. Going to school with 2,200 kids isn't helping me stay healthy. I feel bad though because I think I passed my cold on to a couple of teachers. Whoops.

I don't really like school as much as previous years. Probably because it's not as fun. People have told me this year you're not talking as much as you used to. I was like huh? What do you mean? So apparently I don't talk as much as I used to. Probably because I've gotten used to not talking to anyone over the summer. I've gotten used to keeping myself company. I spent the days in my room, reading, writing, watching TV, and on the computer occasionally iming people.
That was pretty much the extent of my summer, excting huh? We didn't do anything, didn't go anywhere. Eh.

There were a few highlight days of my summer where I had fun. I used those when we made our collage you could call it in Drama class. We had to go up on stage and tell the class about them. That was fun. haha.

I don't know the point of that post but eh whatever it's there now...so yeah haha.

One of the coolests things in the world or should I experiences you can have is being in a huge crowd of people. Not sitting but standing so close to eachother that your shoulders are practically touching. Or that if someone else moves you move. That's not the cool part, the cool part is that your all their for one common reason to see a band/artist you love.

The band takes the stage and the excitement level rises. They start playing and kids start getting into. People begin singing along or shouting along as some of us do haha only once at an FP show (my first moshing experience by the way...one of my favorite shows I've ever been too...god I wish I could relive it all again!) Anyways then comes the part where the band lets the crowd sing a part of the song. I love that. I love hearing all those voices of people you've never met in your life all sharing the common intrest of that song and knowing the words and singing along. It's just wow.

Afterwards your just so hyped up from the show that you feel like you could run a marathon or something. Or atleast that's how I feel. But then again the next day I feel like I've been hit by a truck. Haha. But it's always worth it.

I wanna go to another show ASAP perferably not a local one because scene kids are assholes. I haven't been to on since I saw Dashboard back in April. Someone take me to see NFG/Hit the Lights/Cartel/The Early November!!?!?! Chi-town!?! Ah! I have to go see NFG before I graduate high school. Personal goal. If I don't...then I've failed. Even if it means getting in trouble afterwards for skipping out on school or something. It'd be so worth it. Psh what can they do if you're truant once? September 19th!!! It's getting closer!

I've digressed so I might as well end this here.

So I get to become that old lady sometime this week in Drama class...I have to write a monolog and perform it. It should be interesting. If you have any ideas of what the monolog should be about just lemme know. I know this is pretty much a pointless boring post but I'm pretty bored right now so yeah.

Oh and is listening to Christmas music in August weird? Ha I'm definately guilty of that! Anyways that's really all I have to say without rambling about really random pointless things.

There are far too many jerks on this planet. People can be too judgemental and not even give people a chance, and you know what? That sucks. Just because I can't have the things you have, you treat me like dirt? Gee Thanks.

I'm not naming names and it's none of the people I really have a relationship so don't start freaking out or anything....This kind of stuff just bugs me. You want to be able to talk to different and new people but if they don't give you the light of day then what's the point? Sometimes big schools suck.

If I could change anything it'd be people's attitudes; oh and school lunches...man do public schools have horrible lunches. I miss my private school lunches :( When do I graduate again? 08' is way too far off. :(

Wow sorry, it's been over a week now since my last post. I guess I just got caught up in other things. Like reading, ha yes I'm a nerd ok. I'm reading Jpod right now and am almost done with it. It's my last book I'm going to read this summer as school starts on Monday and I'll be forced to read a History book and a Spanish book. Those are the only two classes I'll really have a book for.

I'm not really sure how I feel about going back to school.

On one hand it's kind of exciting because I know that I'm half way done with high school already and after this year I'll be 3/4' s of the way done. Plus I get to see some people that I haven't seen in what 3 months? Plus new classes, new teachers well 2 new teachers. I had my Spanish and Drama teachers last year. New people...it can almost be considered a fresh start all over again. But now I'm and upperclassmen and the only people who can look down on me are the Seniors. Ha.

But on the other hand school means that I can't sleep in untill like 10 or 11 in the morning like I usually do. Yeah, I require a lot of sleep. I usually go to bed around a 11 at night. I don't know how I'm going to manage to get up at six something Monday morning to catch the bus. I don't think I'm going to make it. I'm going to fall asleep sometime during the day....atleast I'll crash after school if I have to. Plus there's the whole Homework thing....blah. I hate homework. I'm a procrastinator. I won't say I'm the biggest procrastinator you've ever met because I've met way worse procrastinators than me. Plus I have to face the people who are jerks at school. The people who don't even freakin' know you and still choose to talk about you and laugh at you. Wow that's real mature of them isn't it?

So I guess I'm kind of excited that school is going to start but sad that I can't stick to my summer routine anymore and I have to start the school one again. There's just not much room for spontanity during the school year. Of course I'm pretty boring during the summer. I eat lunch at noon every day haha. Of course at school I have A lunch again so I eat at 10:55 every day. Blah I'm as boring as my grandpa who goes to be at 10 a clock everyday and gets up at 5:30. Of course I did stay with him and my grandma a few summers back in the day.

I guess the only reason I'm waisting all this space talking about school is because it's early and nobody is home to talk to. Because most of the people that are usually on to talk to in the mornings are at school...they go to private school. Heh. I guess I'll just sit here..and play boring card games or something and mope.

On a plus note some lady thought I was in college this morning! Whoo! Usually I get mistaken for the middle school crowd! Ah well that's enough pointless rambling that has no purpose what so ever.

So sometimes do you get a feeling that just takes over your body... a feeling that you can't describe. You don't feel sad or upset, but yet you don't feel happy either. You just don't really know what you're feeling. There's not an Adjective out there for it....it's kind of just a warm fuzzy funny feeling kind of thing? You chest kind of tightens.....and feels all tingly...you feel kind of tingly all over. You can't put your finger on it and you're not sure if it's a good or a bad thing. I guess we could call it confusion but I'm not sure that's what I'd really want to call it either.

You just have so many things running through your head. Memories, decisions, past decisions, the future, hopes, dreams....You're not sure if you want to laugh or cry...or just ignore the feeling all together. The feeling increases when you come across certain memories or certain decisions you've made or even thinking of the future.

It can be exciting yet scary at the same time. Am I the only who experiences this? Or am I just weird for even noticing this? C'mon I know I can't be the only one. Ah well even if I am....that's ok. I think. It's one of those situations where you don't even know what to think anymore.

Do you ever listen to songs and have them trigger memories? Wether they be good memories or bad ones? I do, all the time. Sometimes I'll listen to a certain song just so I can remember something good that happened.

I was listening to "Believe" by Yellowcard last night and that brought up Memories of 9/11. I went through everything that went down that day. I remember almost every detail of it. Where I was, what I was doing. I feel like sharing it so I will.

That morning I got on the bus at the same time as usual. I was in the 6th grade, and everything was fine when I left. I probably just read my book or slept as usual on the way to school. I was the first one on the bus so it was a long ride. By the time we got to the last stop some older boys were talking about something and I was really confused by it. One of them asked the other if they had heard what had happened. And the other was like yeah I heard a plane hit or whatever...I just kind of figured it was some TV show or something and didn't worry too much about it. When we got to school, I noticed that secratary was on the phone talking to parents and such. I walked in the classroom and kids were talking about what happend. I felt so in the dark and confused.

By the time we had morning break I'd found out what had happened. We weren't allowed to watch the TV though and had to carry on with our regular classes. After lunch and afternoon recess(God I miss recess.) They turned on the TV and we sat and watched the news the rest of the school day. I remember that all after school activites were cancelled and that we all just sat there in silence not saying anything. Which was truely amazing for our class.

The end of the day came and I went with Jenny and Tristian who I stayed with after school until my mom could pick me. Tristian happened to have piano lessons that day...it was a Tuesday. I remember we dropped him off and decided to go to Mejier. I remember seeing the gas station, people were lined up down the road just to get gas. I'd never seen anything like that before then. We went to mejier and people were buying things like crazy too. It was kind of scary. I was only what 11 or 12 then. We picked Tristian up and then went back to their house. Where we sat and watched the news some more. It was all just the same things played over and over again but yet we all just sat there. It was crazy.

I went home and we watched the news some more. Over the next few days that's all that was on...finally they went into Iraq and I just remember my parents watching that in their room really late into the night.

I honestly didn't know how I felt about all of that at the age of 11. I don't really remember being too affected by it. But 5 years later...I see what the aftermath of all of this is. I see how prices have sky-rocketed. I see things crumbling. I've seen a very patriotic America emerge and I've also seen a very Upset America emerge too.

As I think back on all the things I've lived through I realize that I've lived through quite a bit just at the age of 16. I've lived through 2 US Presidents. Bill Clinton and George Bush. Well those are the ones I remember being in office anyways. I've lived through the turn of the millenium. Y2k...hey guess what? My computer? It's still working. I've lived through a Space Shuttle burning up in the atmosphere during re-entry. I've lived through terrorist attacks not only on the U.S. but also over in U.K., I remember watching that on the news too. I've lived through destructive Hurricanes...Katrina ect. Also a Tsunami...I wasn't directly affected by any of that. But I was indirectly affected. See the thing about kids these days is that we have access to loads of information. We're little sponges, we absorb all kinds of things. There's so much media out there and so many people who voice their opionions about things that it's hard to know who to believe and who to trust.

Personally, I think our generation is pretty much screwed. We got the shit end of the stick...lets just say that. The furture leaders of the world? What are we supposed to lead? I guess we're going to have to pick up the pieces of the generations that came before us to even have a chance. Blah I hate politics and I'm tired of talking about this...so that's it for me today.

So maybe This Song will give you more insight to me....just maybe.

P.S.- I love Jimmy Eat World...loved em' since 6th grade. Maybe not as much as NFG but JEW always has a place in my music collection.

P.P.S.- It's time to go watch Gene Simmons new show on A&E, who knows maybe it'll be better than The Osbournes....but the whole throwing canned ham at your neighbors thing is a classic. So is "I like to warm my butt by the fire..." haha...he was so zombified during that show.

Do you ever just sit back and watch what's going on around you?

You might discover something new about someone or even about yourself. You may even realize how good or how bad things are and how things are affect other people other than yourself.

Do you keep up to date on what's going on in the world?

Lets face it....we're not little kids anymore a lot of the stuff that's happening now is either going to affect is now or in the future. It may you worry or scare you. But honestly it should so we can either learn how to cope with it now to better prepare ourselves for the future or even figure out how we can change it and make it better.

I know, I know...you just want to be young as long as you can and have no worries. Me too. But there's just some things you can't ignore. You have to face reality sometime and stop living in your fantasy world. It's not all grins and giggles you know....Growing up sucks. But I guess it's time to learn when to Work, Play, Be Serious, Have Fun.....you get the picture.

I wish I could be a little kid again sometimes.....

"Just getting up for the let down"

Story of my life....and I'll leave it at that for tonight.

This is going to be a quick one I promise. Ha a quickie blog....funny? Eh...maybe not.

There's a person out there who completes you, or me for that matter. Only you know who they are and how they complete you. That person may know but then again they may not. It may be a friend, or a boyfriend/girlfriend, or a relative ect... They make you feel like your on top of the world and your day just doesn't feel the same if you don't have some kind of contact with them.
Wether that be talking on the phone, or Iming them, or even seeing them in person.

If you don't have some kind of contact with them, you wonder about them, what they're doing. Who they're with. Maybe not that far but you sort of just wonder, you know?

That person can put a smile on your face without even trying. They can brighten up the worst day. You find yourself talking about that person more than you realize. You find your self thinking about that person more than you realize. Sometimes, you even dream about that person. You realize that that person has become a part of your life. A part of your life that you never want to loose or let go of.

Who's that person? I'll never tell. Well maybe....just not today.