Just a Little Something

Consider the Obvious

Today after school as I reached the car, I was asked, "Are you alright? Are you going to die?" What the hell? I can understand the first part, but where the hell did "Are you going to die?" come from? I don't even know where to begin with this, today solidified some things. I know what I have to do...but me getting the cajones to do it is another thing.

I'm not strong enough yet...I'm giving myself time to keep thinking this through so I don't royally screw myself. But uh, if I keep having interactions like this with this person then it's going to keep pushing me more and more...and I'm tired of dealing with it...so it'll be time to remove myself from this situation. Plus I loved the comment this persons sister made today...I wanted to go yes...thanks for bringing up the elephant! But of course it was quickly averted by an impromptu cell phone call. It'll come up again hopefully...parents will be told...something will be done. Maybe Josh is right.....it's not that I've lost respect for this person...which I sort of have...it's that I care....I don't know.

I had a thought today, it may sound kind of confusing and it still is to me as to the correct terminology for it. Anyways, reverse intervention...I feel like I need to have a meeting with friends or current friends anyways to say hey....this is what's up...this is my messed up head, this is what I currently think about you and what you're doing. But you know...face to face. I don't know...in my mind it doens't sound like a half bad idea but yet....getting people are willing to listen and actually take you seriously is a whole different deal. Then I say these things....how would they react? Part of me just says do it....but getting them all together and willing is yet another obstacle to this idea. I don't know...me being more open is kind of freaking people out, and I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing.