Directionally Challenged?

Today, I'm a little less nervous, I'm a little more confident, and I'm a little more motivated. To put my fears of getting lost at college aside I found a map on BSU's site...I've realized that my first three back to back classes are super close together...and that puts me at ease. Well aside from Spanish, I'm going to have to haul butt to get to that one...and get back to English. ahh...oh well. It still puts me at ease...and I'm sure I'll find time during the 5 days I'm there before classes start to do a quick run through of where my classes are.

You're all probably sick and tired of me talking about school by now.....sorry. That's really all I've accomplished today aside from going to the library. Which I was dissappointed that I didn't get to ride my bike there, my dad put them away the other night, and like I've said before, my garage door is a pain in the ass to get open. Ok well....I'm going to go do something else later kidz.

It's Almost July....already.

So the past few days have been well.....I don't know how to describe them. Friday night my mom informed me that on July 10th, I'll be having my Senior pictures taken, yes I did just GRADUATE. I questioned her on this saying.....aren't you supposed to get those taken you know before you graduate? haha. So...I have to figure out what I'm going to wear for them. Oh jou right?

Then Saturday my Dad is determined to buy my mom new clothes...wow wow wow....took forever. I did buy myself some new jeans...skinny ones. Yeah....I tried them on and was all whoa these fit me amazingly and remind me of the pair of jeans I had for three years until the back pocket ripped out...haha I won't stick my hands in the back pockets of these ones all the time, I promise! Plus they were on sale...I'm thinking about going back to Kohls and buying another pair...yeah. We'll see though. We ended up at the Mall too....found my XL Twin sheets, in what I have dubbed "hospital blue" yeah, not crazy about the cover but here's my thinking, I use the XL fitted sheet and since I have these nice chocolate brown sheets, I use that one as the top sheet, and then use one blue and one brown pillow case for pillows and target had a comforter that would pull it all together....yeah....interior decorating skillz. lmao. Anyways, after going all over the mall....we got home 10ish and didn't eat until 11ish yeah....nuts. Oh and that wedding deal earlier Saturday was pretty crazy as well....most disorganized one I've ever been to in my life.

So today after we get the grocery shopping done, and I have some free time in the afternoon I'm surfing the web and come across this show, Back on Campus...where basically these college kids' parents move in with them for a semester and go to class, parties, spring break ect. Oh wow...haha, kinda makes me nervous but I have a feeling I won't be hitting up too many keggers unlike these people. Still nervous about getting lost and making it to my classes on time. I'm a person who likes to be on time everywhere....or even early. Being late bugs me to no end.

But aside from all of this, I feel like I should be doing something...but I'm not quite sure what. My room is clean, I'm holding off on the whole sorting through clothes thing until like a week before I leave, I haven't been able to write anything remotely decent in forever, the most creative thing I've done lately is colored in a coloring book...yes I know lame. I'm going to ride up to the library tommorrow to get some more books....I should read my freshman connections book and answer the questions but it just doesn't look very....interesting to me right now. Plus who wants to do homework in the end of June? By the way, I was at Walmart today....they're already putting school supplies out. Gah, it seems like they start doing that earlier and earlier every year.

Eck, my stomach kinda hurts so I'm going to go see what's on TV or something....gimme something to do?!?!

Thursdays...not so amazing anymore.

It's storming like crazy South of here right now, they've pretty much been getting pounded all afternoon. I can literally look out my window right now and see the pitch black sky...here...it's just cloudy. I maybe rained a tiny bit for 10 minutes if that...it didn't rain enough for me to actually witness it happening, but the bikes are wet. Heh. We've lucked out all day weather wise so far, it's all gone North or South of us. For once...I want it to rain...so I can go out and just....get soaked. Maybe that will wake me up.

This may have been the first day of Summer Vacation where I've been truely bored almost all day. I've literally just laid around all day...or I've been on the computer. Then tonight...I won't want to sleep, but I'll try just because my other options are watching tv or being on the computer which I've done all day. Dammit, next week is not going to be like this....I'm going to call up Miranda and see if I can go over to her house to let her borrow those cds she needs. Heck, I may even ride my bike over, weather permitting of course.

But for now, I wait for my parents to get home....my mom gets off at 5:30 they should be home by six but that RARELY happens, usually it's atleast 7 by the time they get home. Why they feel the need to go to the store EVERY blessed night is beyond me. Pogo here I come....almost to 2 million tokens. Heh.

I'm Thirsty

I feel like...drinking a big glass of ice water right now. But I'm holding myself back because I ate a big meal and I know that drinking all that water will just make my stomach hurt and I'd rather be thirsty eh. Any who...not much has been going on lately...just the usual.

Facebook is amazing, because I keep meeting new kidz who actually live in the Fort who are going to BSU next year....today, I met Marc who is also going to be a T-com major going into production/editing as well. He seems nice and we may even hangout at school we'll see. Right now I just keep having nightmares about my first day not being able to find all my morning classes or getting to them late since I don't really have much time between the first three...yikes. After those classes I'm not really too worried because I should have plenty of time....especially on Tuesdays & Thursdays....Tuesday I don't have class until 2 haha.....and Thursday I have Spanish at 10 but then Psych at 2 again...so It's mainly Monday August 25th I'm dreading haha. I know I won't be getting much sleep the night before...I'll be a ball of nerves. That's pretty much the scariest part of college for me...that intial start of classes. Of course I had that fear going into high school to, hence the first day of freshmen year...freaking out when I couldn't get my locker open and then yet again freaking out when I was scared I'd get in trouble for being late for lunch. And think....I basically started high school twice in my life. Yeah, I think I can handle this...maybe I'll try to scope out where my classes are ahead of time..just so I won't get completely lost.

I still need to find XL Twin Sheets dammit. lol. Grr. Yeah I need to some serious shopping...which I'm actually kind of looking forward to, unfortunately some of it has to wait until I get my roommate assignment...aside from clothes...yeah I have so many right now I can't fit them all in my drawers and I want more....ahh typical girl habit I suppose...hey it's not like I'm going to take ALL of them with me. But another couple of pairs of jeans won't kill me.

NFG is recording right now...they started Vocals today...I'm excited. I want pictures and miss the web cam thingy from Catalyst days..and the video updates and wow just all of it...I feel really disconnected this time around. But I'm still psyched, of course...I'm pretty much psyched about everything these days.

Bicycle Racers Are Coming Your Way....

So it turns out my copy of Start the Machine was completely legit and actually an amazing copy. I watched it last night because well....I couldn't wait. Don't start watching this thinking it's going to be another Urethra Chronicles....that's all I'm going to say. Seriously though...putting the subject matter aside, I really found some of the filming techniques pretty nifty....plus all the CGI work was well done too. I'm probably going to hold onto it....especially since I'll definately be picking up an external hard drive soon, that way I can free up some hard drive space for more...MUSIC.

Which brings me to the new Girl Talk album. Seriously....get it! If all flows together so well, and I like it wayyy better than Night Ripper. Right now my stupid itunes won't see it....I don't know why they're mp3's. So I haven't had any luck putting it on my ipod yet but when I have more time I'll screw around with it some more.

I just got back from a nice bike ride....well bike ride numero 2 today. This morning/early afternoon the brother and I went up to Georgetown and went to the library. Then we had a coupon for Subway, buy one 6 inch get one free with the purchase of a medium drink. Well...we ended up getting a 6 inch and a free drink...haha. So we spent a grand total of $5.05 for two sandwhiches and two drinks...not bad for lunch for two people. Then we went to Scotts to buy cookies because we didn't feel like getting back in the extremely long line at Subway to get some....and I got me some English Muffins for 33 cents! Oh yeah I find all the deals. Anyways after we got home and I chilled for bit I was bored so I went back out and rode around the neighborhood for like an hour....even rode to Kreager...didn't really feel like attempting the river green way by myself. It's just not something a girl by herself should do...incase of you know...creepy people hiding in the woods. Plus I'm sitting here now all sweaty and my chest hurts and feels kinda tight...like Bronchitis tight..GAH! NO! It's too early in the year for this!?!

I'm sure it's nothing though, probably just me overreacting. But the ride was fun, I had my headphones on and just rode....If I didn't live in Fort Rain as Senor says, I'd do it every day. But since the bikes are a pain the ass to get out....because our Garage door is even more jacked up than it was, I only do it when I remember to ask my dad to get the bikes out. Since my finger is still in pretty bad shape after my last attempt to get them out myself. But it's not supposed to rain tonight so maybe he'll let us leave them out over night and I can go riding again tommorrow.....anyone care to join me? You know gotta keep the metabolism kick started because big eating days this weekend...Rib Fest Saturday and then Mom's B-day Party Sunday...can we say home cooked meal....seriously love my Grandma's cooking. I just generally eat too much when I go to her house. Alright enough procrastination....I'm going to go wash dishes or something else boring...heh.

This Summer's Show Is...

So....I've neglected to blog and really don't have anything good to blog about either. I've been spending my days watching my shows...not even kidding a little. ER, 7th Heaven, and well I only have 1 episode of Gossip Girl to watch online...haha yeah I got sucked into watching that show, when there was nothing else on TV to watch. Plus I've started to read the books. I don't know it's fun...just knowing that life around here is nothing like that...I mean not that that's a bad thing, just saying I don't have that much drama...or you know....invitations to elborate parties every weekend. But...I'm definately cool with that, less pressure. Plus I can be me...and there's nothing wrong with that. And it's my show of the summer....last year I watched the entire O.C. series online....this year thankfully I have a better setup to watch from my computer....more comfortable than my desk chair anyways.


Oh, Matt, Jake, and Kyle stopped by yesterday...to show me Jake's new haircut....I liked him with longer hair better. But it'll grow back....and for now he wears a hat lol...not even kidding. So, I've officially seen all of my boys this week.....Josherz, Chris, Matt, Jake, and Kyle...thanks guys.

I'm also downloading hopefully it's a real copy of Start the Machine...no way was I paying to see Tom Delonge talk about himself. Guess we'll find out in about an hour...or so the torrent says. It'll give me something to watch tommorrow after I finish Gossip Girl.

Well I'm off....to watch Wife Swap and wait for the grill to be ready to make some amazing porkchops on....gotta love the BBQ. Speaking of that....Rib Fest Saturday.....I've been let down two years straight but this year....I think it's actually going to happen.

Weekend Recap.

I'm clear headed today, I promise, and not in nearly as much pain. So all is good. This weekend...pretty awesome. Josh and Chris ended up coming to the party, fun times there. Plus hanging out with Nick was awesome too. Laser Tag...Christmas break haha...apparently it's only been planned...err....for years now and we've yet to do it...but this year...definately.

So I think I need to graduate or get confirmed....every two years? lmao. I seriously can make the cash stretch forever and ever. Lets just say I'm about to hit up the sales racks at Sears again and make another killing because I have twice as much as Christmas to spend. (it's a giftcard) Probably get some shorts or you know....just hold onto it...we'll see. Ah my Aunt Suzi got me some college essentials, laundry basket, shower caddy and such. Plus....cash. I now have on me...more cash than I've ever had at once...whoa right? Plus...err checks haven't been cashed yet.

But I'm only getting what I need and saving the rest. Well mostly for next summer if I do hopefully end up getting a job at C-Point....I need rent/food money for the first two weeks. But we'll see. Let's just get through my first year of college first shall we?

Friday the 13th.

Whoa, feeling kind of loopy right now. The tips of my fingers are kind of numb...weird. Took a muscle relaxer thingy so yeah. What's funny about that is that my mom just called me and said not to pick her up from the bus stop....which is probably a good thing because I definately shouldn't be driving like this. Oh, I took one because my damn sciatica is killing me again. It started hurting a little at the begining of the week from all the walking at BSU and today it's at the point where just sitting here typing hurts. Plus maybe riding our bikes up to the library wasn't the best decision either. That coupled with all the damn rain we've been having doesn't help much either.

I'm tired...and just want to go lye back down but I need to call Josh and let him know about the party tommorrow...hopefully this will have worn off by then. Last time I took one...I woke up the next morning feeling like I was going to fall over and kind of un-aware of where I was actually at and what I was doing. I don't like this feeling....I just knew that asprin wasn't going to kill it...and I like you know...being able to sit down. Alright well off to call Josh....before I pass out...stay dry!

That's What She Said...

Orentation. Amazingly better than I thought it was going to be. Of course I had the best group ever. Seriously we were crazy awesome. I can't wait to start college now. We had Katie as our leader and she alone is amazingly fun and awesome. Seriously...I did the math, 69 days until I move in. Super Stoked. Even though I have summer reading....and have a lot of stuff to do before then....I have a feeling it's going to creep up on me faster than I expect it to.

But for now, I focus on tommorrow, I'm thinking that either tomorrow or Friday I'm going to ride my bike up to the library to get some more books/dvds and what not. I will have the car but...I'm saving money on gas...plus a little exercise wouldn't kill me, and all drag the brother with me...since all he did today was sit online playing some game called City of Heroes.

Then....Saturday is my grad party....yeah, I think I'm going to spend a little bit of the money on a whiteboard with the calender thingy on it...and a waterbottle which I was going to buy anyways for my bikerides. But other than that, and well there's a couple of cool necklaces I want to buy online (which with shipping are like $14) I'm most likely going to save my cash for college. Oh and probably a cool watch...since I think my fossil is just jacked up for life...it never did work right...too bad it cost like 80 bucks.

Laptops are being discussed...probably definately won't be getting a mac..booo...but probably a Dell Inspiron. Which just means when editing, I'll have to go the suites but I probably won't be doing too much of that during my first semester anyways. I only have 1 t-com class ah. But I'm planning on joining a t-com organization to get in with those people. Which they throw a party to help get people involved with that.

Alright well I'm going to go watch the Top Chef Season Finale!! GO STEPHANIE!!!!!

As of Tommorrow....

I'll officially be a Cardinal at BSU. Yes. Orientation the next 2 days kids. I'll be back Tuesday night. Wish me luck, that I don't oversleep or get lost....too badly.

I Wouldn't Have Said this 6 Months Ago

I keep hearing that people are worried about me for some reason or another. I'm sitting here thinking, why? Why are you worried about me now? I've gotten my shit together now. I can honestly say I'm doing pretty great right now. Why weren't you worried when I wasn't sleeping, when I barely ate, when I barely talked, when I was desperately trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me....why not then? Was that my normal? Is me feeling normal something strange to people? Is me being excited for life not normal?

What is normal?

I'm fine...don't worry. I may have changed....grown up after all of this, but that's really honestly to be expected. I could've gone one of two ways, I could be like I am now...thinking optimistically about things for once or....lying in my bed for hours upon hours staring at the TV no matter what's on contemplating quite honestly suicide but yet not having the guts to even attempt it. But thankfully I'm not in that place in anymore. Sure...I may be into different music now....I may have some new friends....I may be leaving in a couple of months...but I'm still me. I'm still Sarah....I'm just finding myself. What's life without change? I needed a change....I found one....a good one, a kind of exciting one.

Ha Smash Mouth just popped in my head;
"Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas
I need to get myself away from this place
I said yep what a conceptI could use a little fuel myself
And we could all use a little change"

Don't be scared of it.....embrace it.

Now Back to my Reality Show....

A response to the rumor mill threads on APnet which by the way are full of amazing puns that have been seriously cracking me up. Oh this is in regards to Chad Gilbert (NFG) dating Haley (Paramore) and Adam Larazza(however you spell his name from TBS) getting married after having broken up with Chauntelle(Eisley) a few months before....oh did I forget to mention that Chad (NFG) was married to Sherri (Eisley)....who is now dating Max Bemis (Say Anything) and who previously dated Jesse Lacey (Brand New) but that was before marrying Chad. haha. I just find it all amusing. Can't these people date outside of bands? Ah well more amusement for us.

"I'm still trying for the "Extremely Awkward" festival this Fall. (NFG, Paramore, Say Anything, Eisley, TBS, Brand New and on select dates: Straylight Run) "

Sorry this just amused me a lot today.....I know it's pointless and grad stuff will be up eventually heh...I'm lazy. Plus I've got to start getting stuff ready for BSU....leaving Sunday!

It's.....Graduation Day!

So in three hours I'll be walking into the main arena at the Colisieum....within the six o clock hour I'll be recieving my high school diploma. YES.

I'm more than ready for this. Don't count on me being one of those weepy kids. I'll be happy...gah it's been a long time in the making. I'm proud of myself.

Sadly a guy in my class died last night. Yeah. Moped accident. I didn't know him or anything but it's still going to be a downer, his parents are actually going to go up and recieve his diploma for him. But aside from that, I'm going to savor the moment and hopefully four years from now I'll be doing this again.....except next time with a college degree. I'm sure they'll be pictures and what not so I'll post more about the actual graduation possibly tommorrow.

Mondays....blah.

Just more frustrating moments today. Pick up the phone people....don't go saying that I'm a loser for not having a cell and come up with some lame ass excuse for not calling me so I don't drive places and then just have to turn around....POINTLESS. Seriously not even friends this time....I'm talking family yeah...

Not to mention I think my sinuses just may explode. I have the worst sinus headache right now. Damn Cottenwood. It seems that as I get older I've developed more allegeries or the allergens are just effecting me more now. Cottonwood never used to bother me....I never used to get these damn sinus headaches because of it. Then in the fall I can now look forward to my case of Bronchitis caused by who knows what.

On a plus note, two songs have pretty much ruled my day : You by Atmosphere and I Will Possess Your Heart by Death Cab for Cutie. Check em' out of course check out Atmosphere's new album When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint that Shit Gold, and Death Cab's new album Narrow Stairs....both are definately in heavy rotation right now.

By the way I parked horribly when I just came home and I'm too lazy to go attempt to park it better....so deal with it....I'm really not in the mood, especially knowing I have to mow when the parents get home. Because you know my Dad is allergic to Cottonwood too.....but I'm the lucky one who gets to mow through the snowbanks of the shit in the backyard. I need a major attitude improvement by Wednesday...and by this weekend....atleast I'm self-aware right? ha.

Say It Ain't So...

Well the weekend was good up until ya know less than an hour ago. I don't know what to feel right now, pissed....hurt...upset.....angry.....I just don't even know. I don't know if it was miscommunication or what, but I know that I drove across town for nothing. Basically twice today. Well....I take that back atleast the first time I got to see Chris, so that was worth it. But the 2nd time....nope. No point. Thanks. Gas is what $4 now. Thanks.

So I'm not in the best mood right now....I'll probably find out that they were there all along and I left for no reason because the event was listed as something totally weird and out there.

Aside from all of this though I did have a good time at Miranda's Party Saturday and seeing her again today was fun too. Oh and I've officially started to cross over to the otherside....I am now the owner of an ipod....my first apple product haha. By August I'll be the owner of a macbook. But for now I'm going to sit here and be pissed or something for awhile because I hate getting screwed over like this. I feel like calling up Matt and Jake and saying hey wanna hangout? But by now they're probably at a party or show or something. Gah luckily my parents aren't home at the moment when they do get here they'll drill me...what? why? Who? Your friends are losers....ect. ect. This will probably put a damper on me going to other grad parties as well. It only takes one to ruin the whole bunch. I should stop before I go too far.