Just a Little Something

I Wouldn't Have Said this 6 Months Ago

I keep hearing that people are worried about me for some reason or another. I'm sitting here thinking, why? Why are you worried about me now? I've gotten my shit together now. I can honestly say I'm doing pretty great right now. Why weren't you worried when I wasn't sleeping, when I barely ate, when I barely talked, when I was desperately trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me....why not then? Was that my normal? Is me feeling normal something strange to people? Is me being excited for life not normal?

What is normal?

I'm fine...don't worry. I may have changed....grown up after all of this, but that's really honestly to be expected. I could've gone one of two ways, I could be like I am now...thinking optimistically about things for once or....lying in my bed for hours upon hours staring at the TV no matter what's on contemplating quite honestly suicide but yet not having the guts to even attempt it. But thankfully I'm not in that place in anymore. Sure...I may be into different music now....I may have some new friends....I may be leaving in a couple of months...but I'm still me. I'm still Sarah....I'm just finding myself. What's life without change? I needed a change....I found one....a good one, a kind of exciting one.

Ha Smash Mouth just popped in my head;
"Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas
I need to get myself away from this place
I said yep what a conceptI could use a little fuel myself
And we could all use a little change"

Don't be scared of it.....embrace it.