Something Left to Give...

So as I'm sitting here waiting for my brownies to cool I've just been listening to music and thinking about how this past week at work we've started doing book lists again and I happened to get the one that had to do with children and grieving. This threw me back to the story and really made me want to go back and re-read it yet again. I have to believe that it's some of my best work fiction wise. (I've written way better non fiction shiz for classes but it's not the same kind of animal.)

I guess that just goes to show that I'm still attached to those characters a little bit. Not as much as I used to be because I can't seem to continue on with it, but I still like to go back and remember. Just like to go back and re-read old blog entries to remember or try to bury things further in the past depending on the situation or time. I think re-reading blog entries especially is just one more way to know that things were real that they really did happen. I really did feel those things.

I've also noticed that my musical tastes have changed based on emotions/things that are going on in my life. Some songs that used to be on repeat are frankly depressing to me now. Or at least when I listen to them it in a way takes me back to what I was feeling when I played the shit out of them. Late nights with my good ole' Dell jukebox listening to music to block out everything else. I'm not who I used to be...I find myself no longer expecting the worse as often but thinking about the great things that the future may hold for me. I still hurt and ache but I try not to let myself have the time to sit around and dwell on that. My biggest challenge at the moment in my life is just finding enough hours in the day to do everything I want to do. Like re-reading things haha or watching dvds or listening to music or even reading other books.

But I'm also tired especially at the moment, so I am going to go check to see if my brownies are cool enough for foil and then get some sleep so I'm ready for what tomorrow has in store.

Day 89

1 Day down, 4 to go this week work wise. Yes. Work is getting extremely boring again as we are stuck doing task slips the majority of the time and only being scheduled on desk for 2 hours as it is in my case tommorrow.

I'm trying to be good by cutting my portions and sweets haha but tonight I was at Walmart and saw this lemon cupcake with lemon frosting on sale and mannn I couldn't resist so the momz bought it for me. But other than that and the marshmallows we're toasting I'm going to behave myself. I realize that my eating over the past few days has been a bit out of control. And I don't want to face consequences of that, actually already have eating like that makes my stomach hurt/causes heartburn sometimes, so better to cut back anyways.

You know, the only thing I missed this summer was a good BLT. We usually eat em' a few times a week in the summer and I haven't had one this summer. Well partially because we no longer have a toaster, and a blt has got to be toasted. Man I need to track down somebody with a toaster at school and then all I'd need is some bacon and a tomatoe, ehh lettuce is always optional lol and may you can get in those little packets haha. Anybody else up for a Bacon Tomato Sandwhich? Geeze now I wish we were having those instead of Pork Chops haha, and those damn Asain Vegetables we always seem to eat now, why not mix it up with some corn or peas or carrots or something else! Gah! Or some Baked Beans, I think we've eaten those once this summer. Man...next summer I'm making a list of must have summer foods/meals. Like in the winter when I'm rarely home I want chili and stew haha.

Actually I need to stop talking about food because it's just making me hungrier and hungry for things that we're not having...yeah even Tuna Noodle Casserole sounds amazing at the moment, not that the way we make it is bad...it's yummers. Alright well off to see how this food is coming along.

Day 75

Oh Radio Edits...how amusing they are. I was sitting in the car at the 3rd Walgreens of the night and was flipping stations and happened to catch Don't Trust Me on the radio and the radio edit honestly made me laugh. What's the point of having a radio single where like chorus is constantly cut off haha. Ah anyways...whatever.

Now I'm just sitting here waiting to eat, story of my life. We're having Chinese of the frozen variety. So eh no Hot n' Sour soup dammit lol.

I really don't have much else to say for myself for the moment, too hungry and sore, and tired. Also the story of my life.

Day 58

Well out of curiousity I just googled or rather swagbucked (and got another one FYI yess for being at 270!) how many days I have left in the Fort, can you believe that I'm 42 mere days away from going back? I thought the number would never seem to get smaller when I was so close to a hundred but now, wow...it's exciting.

Today went to Big Lots because they had some seaons of ER for $6, I now own seasons, 1, 2, 3, & 7. I also picked up bed risers for $8. Seem pretty legit so they should work. Now all I have to get is random stuff that could all be purchased and fit into one of those little baskets at Walmart haha. Although I would really like a new backpack for school but we shall see. They had some today on sale at MC Sports when were there today. My old one is just well old and has a big stain on the back of it. Blah. We'll see I guess.

Going to cook some burgers out on the grill tonight. Tommorrow we're heading up to Angola for the annual parade and then out to pizza afterwards.

I'm kind of ready for a nap, got up too early-ish, and have to get up at a decent hour so we can drive up there for the parade. Ah well I'm going to see if my charcoal is ready yet. So more another time.

Bicycle Racers Are Coming Your Way....

So it turns out my copy of Start the Machine was completely legit and actually an amazing copy. I watched it last night because well....I couldn't wait. Don't start watching this thinking it's going to be another Urethra Chronicles....that's all I'm going to say. Seriously though...putting the subject matter aside, I really found some of the filming techniques pretty nifty....plus all the CGI work was well done too. I'm probably going to hold onto it....especially since I'll definately be picking up an external hard drive soon, that way I can free up some hard drive space for more...MUSIC.

Which brings me to the new Girl Talk album. Seriously....get it! If all flows together so well, and I like it wayyy better than Night Ripper. Right now my stupid itunes won't see it....I don't know why they're mp3's. So I haven't had any luck putting it on my ipod yet but when I have more time I'll screw around with it some more.

I just got back from a nice bike ride....well bike ride numero 2 today. This morning/early afternoon the brother and I went up to Georgetown and went to the library. Then we had a coupon for Subway, buy one 6 inch get one free with the purchase of a medium drink. Well...we ended up getting a 6 inch and a free drink...haha. So we spent a grand total of $5.05 for two sandwhiches and two drinks...not bad for lunch for two people. Then we went to Scotts to buy cookies because we didn't feel like getting back in the extremely long line at Subway to get some....and I got me some English Muffins for 33 cents! Oh yeah I find all the deals. Anyways after we got home and I chilled for bit I was bored so I went back out and rode around the neighborhood for like an hour....even rode to Kreager...didn't really feel like attempting the river green way by myself. It's just not something a girl by herself should do...incase of you know...creepy people hiding in the woods. Plus I'm sitting here now all sweaty and my chest hurts and feels kinda tight...like Bronchitis tight..GAH! NO! It's too early in the year for this!?!

I'm sure it's nothing though, probably just me overreacting. But the ride was fun, I had my headphones on and just rode....If I didn't live in Fort Rain as Senor says, I'd do it every day. But since the bikes are a pain the ass to get out....because our Garage door is even more jacked up than it was, I only do it when I remember to ask my dad to get the bikes out. Since my finger is still in pretty bad shape after my last attempt to get them out myself. But it's not supposed to rain tonight so maybe he'll let us leave them out over night and I can go riding again tommorrow.....anyone care to join me? You know gotta keep the metabolism kick started because big eating days this weekend...Rib Fest Saturday and then Mom's B-day Party Sunday...can we say home cooked meal....seriously love my Grandma's cooking. I just generally eat too much when I go to her house. Alright enough procrastination....I'm going to go wash dishes or something else boring...heh.