It's OVER! Almost...

Today was my last day of high school. We all just kind of hungout all day. It was pretty cool. Nelson Awards 4th period, didn't win any but it was cool I guess. haha. Wow I probably won't even been walking in that building again until well my brother gets there. Wow.

Graduation next Wednesday. Tommorrow I'm going to Miranda's Grad party for a little while before going to tape a wedding. Which means I can't stay very long or whatever. But....I kinda need the cash with college coming up. But atleast I'm going to make an appearance unlike other people I know heh. Then Sunday I'm going to Josh's graduation and then his Grad party a little later.

I'm going to be pretty dang busy these next few weeks...but hey that's cool with me...you know getting out of the house because it seems like every year for the past for years by the time I get out of school things start to get shitty again. Not even kidding. I'm so glad I'm going away for college at this point. Let's just say I hate when people play fuckin' head games with you. It's annoying as hell. But other than that....I'm going to have fun this summer and ya know do my best to live up the remaining months of academic freedom before college starts.

Rainy, Hazy...Lazy.

So this past weekend was pretty good. I have high hopes for this coming weekend as well. Seriously the next few weekends are bound to be pretty awesome. I just hope this weather front moves through quickly or it rains or something my head has been killing me all day. It's a not quite there migrane haha, it's kind of in my eyes and making me sensitive to light and a bit nacious but not severly like when I get a full blown migrane. But aside from the headache today was well....interesting. I think I'm just going to leave it that because well...some things are better left unsaid and I don't want to start a bunch of shit with people.

We're going fishing tommorrow in lifetime sports haha maybe I'll catch something who knows. It'll probably rain...that'll be my luck anyways. I should probably look for a sports movie to bring to class for tommorrow 1st period. Since there's only like 10 minutes of Space Jam left to watch. We'll see if I get ambitious enough to actually look though. Right now I just feel like lying down and watching TV, not that there's anything good on. I want to write but again....not feeling ambitious enough to do so.

Only 11 more classes seperate me from getting out high school.....yes.

300th Post.

So this is post numero 300 and the first day of my 4 day weekend. Slept in a bit, watched ER then left. Got my subway and purused the mall a bit. Bought some new sunglasses for only $6. Pretty sweet deal if I do say so myself. Even went to Target for a bit and looked around. Came home and chilled until it was time to pick up the bro. Then did dishes and watched Gracie.

I helped pick out a new desk chair for my parents haha you should've seen us trying to get the box in the Mini Coop, hilarious stuff. That was after Cracker Barrel though....got Eggs in a Basket....I've tried so many times to make it myself but it just never turns out...if anyone has a secret fill me in. My bread always burns before I get the egg cooked and I don't know how else to do it aside from cracking the egg right into the hole in the bread.

Kind of a busy weekend ahead of me, tommorrow we're going to Pagie's Crossing to play mini golf and go-karts. Then Sunday I have to tape, and we're going to my Grandpa's for a cookout. Plus also sometime this weekend we're going to get my low top lady bug chucks...ah yes. This will be my third pair of chucks not that I'm giving up my black high tops anytime soon. They're still holding up quite nice....even though I've had them since my Sophmore year. I did have to throw away my ones from 8th grade...too stinky haha but I have pics to document the greatness of them. To top it all off the weather is supposed to be amazing all weekend oh yeah and not to mention the Indy 500 which I'll probably pass on watching heh....and Coca Cola 600....which I'll probably catch atleast part of since well no school on Monday either. God I could so get used to 4 day weekends.

4 Day Weekend!

It's been a pretty excellent week. Aside from the negatives which I'll get out the way right away, can't go to C-Point orrr Indiana Beach tommorrow. Bummer. No longer have a roommate for college, having a slight panic attack last night, and....me pretty much sucking really bad at golf. Ha.

But on the upsides, I don't have to go to school tommorrow...my mom is letting me skip. It's going to be a me day for sure. Gonna get up early enough to watch my two episodes of ER on TNT then probably go to Subway for lunch since I have a coupon for a free six inch sub with the purchase of a drink and chips. Then I was thinking of heading to the mall to pick up some new shades....yeah. Which brings me to since we've gotten the mini I get to drive the shitty car a whollllle lot more. I've driven it almost everyday this week. Nice. Plus my dad gave me 30 bucks back yesterday. Yep.

Oh yeah, Tuesday was the Senior picnic...is it wrong to have liked that a whole lot better than Prom? Yeah more fun....there was dancing a moon walk, all the pizza and cookies we could eat...plus a t-shirt all for a buck. Good times. Only 4 days left for me of high school....four days off and four days left. Seems fair to me. Then next weekend let the Grad parties begin. I still haven't fully wrapped my head around about not being in high school anymore.....I guess I better live up the last four days next week.

Geeze I'm hungry....I wonder where the parents are at? gahhh. I'd make something but know I'd get yelled out for not waiting ah oh well.....I suppose we'll eat eventually.

Dear Your Name Here____

I don't even bother signing on to AIM anymore. I know I won't see your screenname there. So what's the point? I don't sit there waiting for you to sign on anymore. I realize we both have lives now...more important things to do then IM people constantly. We've both moved on...I no longer feel the need to talk to you. Atleast...not about my freak outs or things like that. I'm ok now. Maybe you saw too much of the vunerable part of me, I don't know....I'm sorry about that, but you can't really help it when your brain is fucked...and you don't know how to be feel normal and happy.

I fully realize that you moved on a long time ago....and now I have to. This is something I've learnt to accept in my life now. Finally, after 3-4 years...I can say that I'm ok with us just being this. I'll cherish the memories, and never forget them. I'll never forget you and the things you did for me. This isn't a desperate last ditch effort to some how win you over...it's just letting you know that I'm ok....and I'll be ok. If I ever need you...you said you'd be there...I know I can trust your word. I'll be here for you too.

With endings come new beginnings. Life moves on with or without you in mine all the time. I hope the world treats you right...and just know I'll always be here...don't forget me completely. You'll always be a friend in my book...plus I'll have some entertaining stories about us to tell people. Thanks for making atleast my freshmen year a little bit like "typical high school" ha. Sometimes it's not physical distance that keeps people apart...because we do live really close to each other, it's just something that wasn't meant to be. We were connected when we needed to be....and now we don't need eachother nearly as much.

I'll miss you, but I know you're happy. I'm happy. We're finally getting our breaks...lets take them and run with them.

Thursdays are Amazing

Today was pretty great. I've learnt and experienced new things. I took my first ride in a German car today. BMW Mini Cooper haha a Mini with mucho issues, it's sitting in our driveway right now with all the electrical shit on still. Seriously had to stall it just to get the motor off. So tommorrow the battery will be dead and it'll need jumped but it's still a fun little car. Not that I got to drive it...can't drive a stick yet ha.

We went to mall to cash in tickets from the arcade place and basically got a buttload of candy. Then while my parents were in Scotts buying stuff I told myself I was going to teach myself how to text and guess what? I did. Yeah. Watch out. But the phone isn't mine, it's a work phone and dunno if it has unlimited texting. So chances are I probably won't be texting all too much. I don't feel as socially inept though now.

Then I got home and checked my email, I finally heard back from my college choices focus group. Next Thursday at 4PM $50 coming my way for participating. YES. The cash comes a little late though, I need that money before then for uh...C-Point. Ha yeah I've finally convinced my mom to let me particpate in Senior Skip Day. But now I have nothing to do on it....ahhh. Kyle said he was going to try to hook me up with some random odd jobs at his Mom's work this weekend though and it pays pretty well. Sooo maybe, if it's not pouring.

I'm pretty stoked about a million and a half things right now. No joke. I'm definately not in the mindset to do homework though which I really should be doing. Gah....why even give homework in May? It's not like we put a lot of effort into it. Ok well I'm going to go be a giddy loser and do something else now.

Play My Little Part in Something Big.

It finally feels like high school is working for me. I'm truely enjoying it right now. Too bad there's only 12 days left of high school for me. God it took four years for me to truely enjoy it? Ok so maybe I'm exagerating a bit, I've liked parts of it but lately I've been going through school days with virtually nothing bad to say about them. In fact somedays are amazing. Mostly because of certain people. People who I'll be leaving in August. People who I wish I would've met before this Spring.

I want my high school experience back. I want to relive it all. I want to do all the things other kids got to do and I never did. I guess I'm a little bitter about the past four years. And I know it's selfish and wrong to feel that way but I can't help it...I was in a bad place and not put there by my actions. Don't get me wrong, College is coming and as exciting as it is...it is starting completely over with this whole building relationships thing. I guess you could say I have a bit of social anxiety...I mean I was a nervous wreck at prom for like the first hour...stomach in knots and what not. But I'm sure I'll get over it in due time this coming fall. But right now....everything fits....all the people...all the activities...no matter how random or crazy they are...I love every minute of it. I have to hold certain things back though knowing that I'm leaving in a few months. I let myself constantly befriend new people but yet know that I shouldn't get more involved no matter what my feelings are. Sometimes age differances suck in this situation...and for once...I'm not the younger one. I'm not going to totally dimiss the notion of us though.....who knows if we both want to try it...I'm up for it. For once in my life...I can honestly say I'm ready...

So we're a Trio?

This week has been great aside from back pain which now has been temporarily taken care of, sitting is no longer painful. Fun in pretty much every class....by the way why is it more fun to have a sub in Danley's class than it is when he's there? Yeah, Friday ruled. Except for the part where Senor questioned me about Matt aka Mateo haha. Erin and her big mouth to Senor gahh. Not that anything aside from friendship is happening there anyways.

Speaking of Matt, hung out with both him and Jake today. More with Jake though because Matt had some shiz to do. It was fun, I bought them things they're not old enough to buy. Ha. Plus anything is better than sitting around here doing nothing all day. And for the record, I suck majorly at Rock Band.

So yeah, tommorrow is Mother's Day, the bro and I went out Friday and got a card and a gift that we actually paid for ourselves. First time....ever. Ha. Well last year I made the kick ass Nick Simmons card that my mom still carries around with her to this day and shows to her friends, yeah it was that amazing. Now my card this year isn't quite as good but it's good...and made out of recycled paper so you can't really go wrong right?

Seriously only like 3 weeks until I walk across that stage at the Colisieum and graduate. Wow. Great but Wow. There are some aspects of high school I'm going to miss but truthfully I'm ready to get out of there. So the next three weeks should be amazing....we'll see though. But I have a gut feeling they will be amazing. I'm going to make sure they're amazing so there.

Carpe Diem

I woke up this morning and something from Lance Armstrong's book hit me.....and all at once I decided that Carpe Diem was going to be my theme from now own. I don't know why or how but I'm going to....I have to. Why the hell not right? Might as well just sit back and sieze the moment.

I got home from school today knowing that I have somehow yet again lost my key. (somebody should tie the thing to my wrist or something! by the way...still no clue as to where it is!) So I went to the backyard and set all my crap in a lawn chair. My first thought was to do my pre-calc but quickly decided against that. So I took off my shoes and just lay down on the patio. I stared up at the sky and watched the clouds go by...I didn't realize how fast the clouds moved until that moment. Usually when I'm looking at them it's from a moving vehicle so you assume it's just you that's moving and not the clouds. But laying there not moving at all...was almost dizzying but yet so amazing at the same time. After a while there was this big grey cloud and the wind started to pick up. My first thought was oh man it's going to rain and I'm going to get soaked. But I quickly changed my mind and said you know what....let it happen, bring on the rain...besides wouldn't that be straight out of a movie? A girl lying on her patio staring at the sky...and then it just pours. It didn't rain and my dad came home with the key shortly after but it was still just wow.

Life is kind of like the sky...especially here. We have far more cloudy/rainy/snowy days here than anything else. Life is funny that way giving you far more bad than good days. But shouldn't we just take it as it comes even if it moves entirely too fast for our liking sometimes? Maybe we should all live by Carpe Diem and sieze every possible good moment because you never know when those clouds will start rolling in again. Besides most of us will soon be experiencing a whole new set of things....to make the best out of every situation...shouldn't we seize the moment? Or atleast try to....because everything is easier said than done.

So shock me in a good way and I'll love it. Do something for yourself you've always wanted to do....you'll love it. If it's something legal and isn't hurting anyone....don't think twice...just do it. Courage is hard to find....trust me I know....getting up courage is scary but you only live once....and before you know you'll loose your opportunity to do things you've always wanted to do but never did. So...are you going to see anything shocking out of me? We'll....see.

Don't Let This Feeling Die....

This weekend has turned out to be everything I'd imagined but better. Actually there would be only one thing that would've made it the perfect weekend but that's a ways off ha. We'll see...9:30 am tommorrow. Waiting eagerly. Wish we would've gotten to go to prom together but it was still fun and we still hungout. Now...well....we'll see and not get ahead of ourselves.

Listening to new Death Cab right now. Lovin' it. Plus we have music in common....wow random but true. I mean not just the general liking of music...I mean the same music taste. I'm at ease with him. Geeze I haven't really been this way over a boy in forever...not since.....dare I say Josherz...yeah it's out there what now? haha. Except it's crazy that me and him have what seems like even more in common than Josh and I...plus Josh where the hell are you man?!? I haven't talked to you in FOREVER! So...like I said...we'll see. There are bound to be questions asked about it tommorrow anyways from some of my friends. I saw them see us and they were like whoa....Sarah and a boy. Hmm...god I can't wait for tommorrow. Why do all my best relationships with guys started with a burnt cd? Let's take tally; Greenday, Korn I think?, and now the Juno Soundtrack. Yeah. Geeze I'm a loser.

Folds in the Fort!?!

Dang, I was just checking Ben Fold's myspace page, he's coming here October 3rd! I'll be in Muncie then. Gah. Seriously no fair I was the one who started that Demand on Demandit, somebody hook me up with some free tickets!?! Pleaseeee even if it is at the Embassy I still would love to go. Even though it'll probably be atleast 50 bucks just guessing though.

Anyways, still no luck with the NFG cd. Blah. Probably continue the search next week. As prom is tonight. I'm just waiting for the hair to dry and for the Aunt to come over to do my hair in a couple of hours, then I have to eat and I'll be good to go. It's going to be a lonnnng hopefullyfun night. Hey you only usually only get two chances to go to prom in your life might as well atleast attend one of them right? It's one of those "high school experiences" Since I only have a few weeks of high school left...why not be a true high school student for once. heh.

I May Look Sickly but I'm not I Swear.

So I went to the doctor's today after school for the whole physical thingy. I got a shot...mennigitis vaccine. Gah now I feel worse than I did walking into that place....left arm is killing me but I'm not into getting shots in the butt heh. Anyways I also have a sciatica. They want me to take a muscle relaxer and steriods but I'm not planning on it unless the pain really gets unbearable because I've heard people are pretty loopy after the muscle relaxers. And steroids tend to make people puff up heh. Anwyays, atleast I know I'm not dying....haha. Seriously in the back of my mind was the worst possible scenario which we won't even go into.

Anyways afterwards we went to Best Buy to purchase the new NFG album....completely sold out! Gah went a few doors down to Walmart, completely gone! GAH! We were also looking for a bag for my junk for prom and there were stores along the way the last one in the strip was Kohls found a black patent leather one I liked for 6 bucks, orginally 30! The deal of the day. Plus shoe carnival had the chucks I wanted on sale but they were still 35 bucks and that's all the cash I have so I didn't buy them. So I may try the Walmart and Mejier out here tommorrow for the CD if I have access to the vehicle. If not Prom Saturday night I will have the car can you say B-Buy run first? lmao. Nah probably go during the day, Prom dressing it up in Best Buy lmao.

God my arm is killing me from that shot....hurts majorly to even attempt to lift my arm over my head. Well I better go finishing reading this book for a book report that's due Monday!?! What the hell? Right? What kind of teacher assigns a book report due the day after Prom weekend? So I need to knock that out before Prom. So much to do...so little time. Oh yeah....fun times in Pre-Calc but we'll get into that another time.