Just a Little Something

Play My Little Part in Something Big.

It finally feels like high school is working for me. I'm truely enjoying it right now. Too bad there's only 12 days left of high school for me. God it took four years for me to truely enjoy it? Ok so maybe I'm exagerating a bit, I've liked parts of it but lately I've been going through school days with virtually nothing bad to say about them. In fact somedays are amazing. Mostly because of certain people. People who I'll be leaving in August. People who I wish I would've met before this Spring.

I want my high school experience back. I want to relive it all. I want to do all the things other kids got to do and I never did. I guess I'm a little bitter about the past four years. And I know it's selfish and wrong to feel that way but I can't help it...I was in a bad place and not put there by my actions. Don't get me wrong, College is coming and as exciting as it is...it is starting completely over with this whole building relationships thing. I guess you could say I have a bit of social anxiety...I mean I was a nervous wreck at prom for like the first hour...stomach in knots and what not. But I'm sure I'll get over it in due time this coming fall. But right now....everything fits....all the people...all the activities...no matter how random or crazy they are...I love every minute of it. I have to hold certain things back though knowing that I'm leaving in a few months. I let myself constantly befriend new people but yet know that I shouldn't get more involved no matter what my feelings are. Sometimes age differances suck in this situation...and for once...I'm not the younger one. I'm not going to totally dimiss the notion of us though.....who knows if we both want to try it...I'm up for it. For once in my life...I can honestly say I'm ready...