Day 47

Wow, almost to day 50 of summer break. Awesome. That means the days till we go back are getting smaller. Although when I think of that now, I get a twinge of nervousness in my stomach. He's told me not to be nervous about it, but I can't help it. School won't be the same without him there. I'll go to class, work, and when I'm not doing that I don't know what I'll do. I suppose study, and be incredibly bored and lonely. I think that if it ended up being that way, my sophmore year just wouldn't measure up at all. Knowing that he's stuck here...miserable would be incredibly hard for me. Yes I do care about him that much. Yes I am scared and worried about this. I don't want going back to school this year to be bittersweet. I want this all to go away, and have it just be a dream, a prank even.

So please send good thoughts our way please. So everything works out...I can't leave my other half behind. I can't. I think that might cause a huge regression...and I don't want that at all. The possibility of that scares me too.

This past year and mostly good things happening to me was definately a new thing for me. A good new thing. But I don't want this next year to be the opposite. Can't we just build off the good things?

I know...I'm a pathetic worry-wart, but sometimes I just can't help it, especially when it comes to the person I care about so much.