Day 25

The past few days have been good, I'm just tired now haha. I'm glad I don't have to work tommorrow.

I can officially say I've jumped on the Twilight bandwagon, I picked up the first book yesterday at the library to read. I have the next two on hold, so when they come in they're mine lol.

Is it totally wrong to be making a mental list of things to get before I go back to school already? I mean I am nearing the only 60 days to go mark in a matter of 15ish days.

I haven't decided what I want to do today, but tommorrow I think I want to get my bike out and atleast ride up to Georgetown, need to start getting back into shape. Adam says he wants to ride the river greenway sometime this summer, and I don't want to be dying lol. Problem is I don't get to ride everyday anymore...lameness. Oh well I guess, I'm making the moneyysss now.

I wish my mom and my brother would get home, I'm hungry. Anyways I'll stop before I start rambling about other pointless things.

Day 22

I had my sirsi training today...blah fun fun. I also stuffed 300 envelopes with chess club stuff. Yesterday I got paid to color for five hours haha. Anyways the past couple of days at work haven't been so bad. Which is good.

Right now I'm just worried about him...I think he may be avoiding me. :-( Which if he is wow...that would suck, but lets hope for the best here and say he's just busy with other things right now. We shall see.

I wish I had all the answers but I don't...this transition from being a kid to an adult isn't easy. I wish it was. Ah I'm sure everything will be ok...I sure hope so anyways.

OUCH

So I was making pork chops on the little weber grill tonight and I take the lid off and it hits the side of my left knee. Burnt. OUCH. It burns soooooo much right now. I put some aloe lotion on it but that hasn't done anything.

I shouldn't be allowed to do anything aside from living in a plastic bubble all I do is hurt myself.

Gah....

Day 19

At this moment I could say some things that really get me in trouble, so I'm going to choose to abstain from saying them. Gotta be the bigger person sometimes ya know?

Gah so frustrating. But it always comes around where I'm at fault so yeah...I feel like giving up on everything at this point. Life...work, school everything. What do those things matter anyways? Apparently I don't care...so why should I even care about myself?

I love getting walked all over...I really do. Go ahead...put your foot prints on me, add to the collection.

It's no wonder my stomach constantly hurts...I'm probably working on a nice Ulcer...yay for having ulcers at 19.

Bottom Line...I don't know what to do anymore. I thought I was finally for once in my life figuring things out...turns out...I'm just as stupid as I was before. A real self-esteem booster. Thanks Life...you suck.

Day 16

Wow super tired today...looking forward to just sleeping and not having to get up for work for 3 whole days! YES!

Plus I got to see Adam today YES!

And...work didn't take forever, thank goodness. But I did have something to look forward to. So that was nice.

All I want to do is listen to music for hours upon hours. And sing along at the top of my lungs, no matter how horribly I'm singing. Just like I used to do when nobody was home. It would be loud...like shake my floor loud in my room haha. And every night I would fall asleep to music. I want to fall into that again so badly. I think that's a reason why I went on a music binge last night. Being in silence at work...just drives me crazy. I need the music to help keep me sane. Today at lunch I broke down and actually listened to music, the first time I've done that. It did give me a needed pick me up and got me through the afternoon. Psh who needs drugs, or smoking or whatever I have Adam and Music...what more could I possibly need in life?

Nice.

So just remember a couple of minutes ago I downloaded the new Straylight Run EP...first track...excellent.

"I'm through with the past...but the past isn't through with me..."

Ain't that the truth. Ah well I should stop my music binge...yeah this evening/night definately can be labled as a music binge haha, and I should go to bed because I have to get up for work at 6:45...whoop-eeeeeee.

By the way...my predictions for this EP before I listen to the rest of it...are Excellent...definately need to update the ipod this weekend.

Day 15

Wanted to make sure I got this count thing started again haha. Anyways tired, hungry and sitting around at 8:30ish waiting for food that isn't even being made yet. Blah. Don't they realize lunch was over 6 hours ago? Ah oh well I guess. *sigh*

Work is alright I guess, don't work at the library if you want a face paced exciting job that's for sure. I don't know how these people do it and actually enjoy their jobs. I like dining better because it was a little more fast paced than this. Hmm books...so fast paced not lol.

Basically only 9 weeks to go...45 more days of work. Oh geeze that sounds terribly long.

I hope things pick up once school gets out...I really do. heh.

I'm not exactly sure what day it is...

Well I know it's Monday, but anyways; just sitting here on my dinner break chiilin'. Next time I'll have to bring more food LOL. I'm not quite as nervous as I thought I would be. The only nerve wracking part was hoping that the bus showed up on time LOL. But it did(sorta) and all is well.

During my explore the library website time I found a calendar of events that has the weeks numbered. 10 weeks from now it will be the end of July. Leaving me with a day or so short of two weeks from heading back to BSU YES!!!!

I just hope all work days don't drag on like this. I'm hoping it's because I didn't really get to do anything but watch and listen to the same things over and over again. They need to speed up muy rapido LOL

So yay for a job with great wifi acsess for mobile blogging among other things. Now only of my IM ap would connect. Tried getting on to see if Adam was on but wouldn't connect, LAME. Ah well back to checking the facebook and twitter before my last 3 hours of work today.

Day 11

I'm having one of those days where I just want to sleep and stare blankly at the TV. Everything I seem to do or say is wrong. It seriously makes me question why I even bother doing anything anymore. Maybe it's time to be a hermit again, and hole up in my room for the summer. Lock the door, and stare at endless tv shows all summer.

I don't know, I'm just really mentally drained right now. I have too many things swarming through my brain; work, home life, me not being good enough, I don't know just lots of things. Is summer supposed to be this hard? If so...I'm ready to check out.

Plus this pounding headache isn't helping the situation any. But what can I do? I'm stuck here for the next 3 months.

At this point, I'm really starting to question if everything will be ok.

Day 9 I think...

You miss the things you cherish the most when they're not there anymore. But I think that's how you know that this is for real, and that every longing or twinge of lonliness is for them.

Hopefully it won't stay this way too long... I'm already feeling like a piece of me is missing.

"You're what keeps me believing the worlds not gone dead,strength in my bones put the words in my head, when they pour out to paper it's all for you..."

Day 8

So if we hit every other it's not a total loss right?

Anyways I actually wrote yesterday atleast a page. Whooo! haha.

Went today with Adam to the library to fill out paperwork before I start on Monday. I think it'll be good. I'm not too nervous yet. Plus having some cash will be nice.
Super nice day today too.

But I'm also super tired, didn't sleep well at all last night, so tonight I'll probably watch some tv/dvds and just chill and hopefully sleep amazingly tonight. I thought about taking a bike ride this afternoon but too tired right now. So maybe tommorrow or this weekend we shall see.

Got Lars and the Real Girl, and Charlie Bartlett along with a disc of Gossip Girl to watch. Plus I still have a lot of ER too.

Alright well I think I'm going to pop a dvd in and chill for awhile.

Day 6 : Yeah I know I'm a Slacker

Been busy though, with various things.

Super tired, didn't know I was up at 4:30ish this morning, and was up until 6:30ish, then slept off and on until 9:30ish. Yikes.

But today was still good and fun overall. :-)

Well seeing Adam always makes any day a gazillion times better!

Tommorrow I break out the bicycle, to prepare it for the summer, and continue cleaning I suppose blah.

But for now...sleepy time is much needed.

Day 3

Today was pretty good. Went bowling with Adam, Marc, Charles, his girlfriend and some other people. Then to Taco Bell of course haha.

Also watched Patch Adams this afternoon. And I've decided to pick up reading a new book series. I already know I want to read the twilight series but I need to put holds on the books. So today I picked a variety of first books from different series. Well sorta, I got the 2nd book in the traveling pants series, The Golden Compass, and some other one I can't think of off the top of my head.

I'm just pretty sore right now, and hoping going to my Grandma's house won't be a fiasco like it was the last time we were there. Oh you know, no tornado warnings, no bats, no fearing for my life in the car on the way over and back. One can hope right? But so far so good this summer, the only tears shed have been over realizing that summer is entirely too long and that I'm going to miss seeing everyone everyday.

Ah well back to watching Monk.

Day 2

Have a phone picked out. Just gotta wait for my account to get some funds before purchasing.

Got a bunch of movies to watch this weekend, and probably seeing Adam tommorrow :)

So far...Summer isn't so bad. I still can't wait until August though!

Blogging Summer 09' : Day 1

I just had a random idea to blog on every day of my 102 days of summer. About anything really.

Today hasn't been bad. And it went by fairly fast which is good. And if I keep this habit up my room should be sparklie with cleanliness by the time I get done haha. But keeping busy is definately key and work should definately help with that.

Things that may occur or that I have decided I am going to do this summer:

1. Read the Twilight Books
2. Since I'm working get myself a pre-paid phone. I'll be able to afford the $30 a month to keep it alive.
3.See Adam atleast once a week, hopefully more :)
4.Possible Cedar Point Trip with Adam and possibly Andrea?!?!
5. Find some interesting movies to watch at the library
6. Blog Everyday haha.
7. Listen to some good music
8. Find other interesting books to read
9. Possibly Work on the story or just write more in general. Or at the very least...go back and read.

That's all I can think of right now.

103 Days Until I'm Back at BSU

And that fact has brought me to tears. I love it so much there. How am I going to survive a 103 days here? I'm going to miss everyone so much. Not seeing everyone everyday is going to stink. That seems like an eternity. I hate it.

I just want to be with my friends again.

Summer Breaks are overrated.

I'm Awake

My roomie is asleep but I'm awake thanks to lawn mowers, itchy eyes, and shoulder area pain.

Entering my last three days at BSU for 3 months. I start work on the 18th, at the library...shouldn't be too bad. I'll just keep telling myself atleast it's not fast food.

Anyways, going to go get ready and enjoy the last few days of freshmen year.