Just a Little Something

A bigger picture...

So I just got done watching an amazing episode of Oprah. They took 64 high school students from various different cliques and had them really open up to eachother, it was pretty awesome. It made me wish that something like that would happen at my school, or at everyone's schools for that matter.

I've talked to kids who aren't comfortable at their own school. Talked to kids who've been picked on for their beliefs and intrests. Kids who didn't have anyone to talk to at school. Who felt alone. I've been there. It's a horrible feeling. Nobody should have to feel that. When those people confided to me that they felt that way. I felt for them, I knew what that's like, but I didn't know what to say to try and make it bettter, because really I knew that there really wasn't anything I could do, especially if I don't happen to go to the same school as that person.

Maybe just getting a group of people together whom you know, your friends, your friend's friends and just open up to them...because we all know that we've been lying to them about something. Keeping something hidden from them. Something that majorly affects us and our lives and how we live them. And maye just maybe telling our story to someone might give us someone to relate to, or just enable us to better understand where we're all coming from.

I wish I could go up to every person in life I've hurt and apologize. I feel bad about things I've said and done to people. I know now why've done those things and it's horrible. Ever hear the phrase: "Those who hurt; hurt people." That's what I feel like I'm doing. I'm taking my hurt out on other people. Even pushing other people away. I hate that. I just want to go up to every single one of my friends give them a hug and say I'm sorry if I've ever hurt you in any way shape or form. I don't want to loose them. A lot of them are stability in my life...even if they don't know that. I want them to hear my story, to know what makes me hurt. I want to know what makes them hurt...so we can help each other.

What good is having friends, if you can't confide in them? What good are friends who feel hurt because of something you've done? What good are friends who don't express themselves?

I'm guilty, I don't confide in my friends for the most part. I've felt hurt from something a friend has done/said to me. I don't express myself a lot of the time because it creates ackward situations...or atleast it seems like it does anyways. I'm scared, of what they think, how they judge me. I know I shouldn't be but I am. I'm horrified of them breaking my trust and blabbing my hurt to the world. To me that would hurt even more. There's a time to tell someone and there's a time to keep your mouth shut. Especially if it means potentially putting your friend a more worse situation than they're already in.

I won't tell if you won't tell.....

We all put up fronts.....I think it's time we knock them down. Break down the barriers, the tension, the ackwardness.....embrace eachother and our problems.