It's Always You In My Big Dreams.....

I'm feeling quite accomplished right now. I've gotten 7 pages out of 9-10 typed for my English term paper. I'm just waiting to get the other couple of them back from the teacher with corrections so I can do those, and then all I have to do is number, write an intro and conclusion, and work cited page. Yes. Oh yeah and a couple more parenthetical sources wouldn't hurt either. Plus I've started on my Econ paper, only like 3 paragraphs but it's a start and I actually did reasearch today. Yes.

My arm is yet again killing me today. It hurt so bad in math I thought I might cry. I seriously hate this, I've taken some asprin, still waiting for it to kick in. Hopefully it'll cut the pain some.

Why can I not go a day without thinking about him? At the most random moments he pops into my head....in class on the way home from school, just random things I see make me think of him. Just more of a reason why I want to see him.....even after last week's whole thing. But I really need to focus on these stupid term papers grr... next week I'm home free, just have a math final...but other than that I'm good. Plus I'm makin' cookies for people! whoo! I'm more than ready for winter break.

Who's Gonna Make Me? !? Make Me!?!

So I should be working on atleast re-typing my English term paper that's due Friday or Thursday...I think. Ah well it's due sometime this week. But obviously I'm blogging instead. I think I'm going to just sit down tommorrow night, put on some good tunes and hammer it out so I can finally start my Econ term paper. Uh...whoops. :) I'll be so glad when this week is over and I'm term paper free until college!!! YES! Because I'm pretty sure that we won't have papers in Espanol, Gym, or Sports Marketing.....or Pre-Calc for that matter.

Maybe I'll start during my two-hour delay tommorrow....nah. Sleeping is sooo much better. We had an ice storm this weekend. Still hoping we don't close so we'll still have only a 4 day week when we get back from Winter Break. Plus we've figured out that we can't miss any days because we want a 5 day weekend in May...assuming that Sr. Skip day will fall on the week of Memorial Day Weekend. We're thinking possibly a 2 day C-Point stay at this point. Oh yes.

Anyways, I really don't have much else to say....I blog entirely too much. By the way, my arm still hurts mucho. Gah.

Well Isn't That Great....

People shouldn't let me Google or Webmd things. Ha. I was curious as to why I get white spots under my finger nails....and I found out, that it's a sign of either a zinc or iron deficincy or both. Great....

Does that make your left shoulder/arm hurt like a bitch too?

I Used to Have a Heart...

In some sick twisted way, I'm enjoying the pain in my arms tonight. Usually I don't. But right now I'd rather feel that than the emptiness. So I'm not reaching for the hoodie or blanket to keep them warm, I'm just leaving them alone for now.

I had dreams.....today after school, of sledding. Everyone was there. We were having a great time. Snow was being thrown at eachother....something good happened between me and someone. Good is actually an understatement....it was amazing and I wish dreams like that would come true. Well the dream was great, until somebody I don't remember exactly who pushed me on my sled of course down the hill when I wasn't expecting it and I some how broke my arm? lol.

I would love to go sledding this winter....I think it'd be fun. I guess the problem lies in getting other people who think it'd be fun to do too. 2-3 more inches tonight. Another 2 hour delay possibly...we'll see.

You Can't Decipher Deflections from Reality But Neither Can I

We got 3 inches of snow tonight, 3 more are supposedly coming by this weekend. Anyways we had a 2 hour delay this morning and I wanted so badly to sleep in but I started having these nightmares and they were just horrible. So I forced myself to get up and get rid just to avoid the nightmares that were all too real. My nightmares aren't as ficitional and absurd as my regular dreams. They're real....like what's happening in the dream could really happen. They're the kind of thing that ruins your mood, gets you thinking about things you weren't actually thinking about for once. Get you stressed out....

These dreams will probably never go away, I'll have them again....and again. It's events that scar you for life, that cause these dreams. Events that scare you. Events that cause you pain just thinking about them. It just leaves you wanting to feel secure....you don' t like feeling vunerable. You don't like the fear... You want a hug...some kind of reassurance. But you left alone with your thoughts, and hope that this weekly or sometimes daily occurence ends sometime in your life.

"What do you do when your lifes a disaster? And you're moving faster and it's getting harder to breathe...."

Today Was A Day Just Like Any Other.

But, I was in an exceptionally good mood all day. Maybe it was that can of grape juice I had for breakfast. Or Peanut Soupe...or that amazing Greek salad Bernice and I made. Maybe, I'm just getting better at all of this. Certainly better at managing time anyways. I've realized that having some structure and routine things isn't entirely a bad thing. I like reading things and analyzing them for English class. I like challenging math problems that take up half a sheet of paper just for one problem. I like the possibility of 3-5 inches of snow, it's an adventure an exciting one. I think that's how I'll treat college, god willing I get into Ball State. I won't freak out....I'll be like cool a new adventure.

Well, I'm off to get lost in a good album and some Pre-Calc homework. I still feeling like dancing.

Just Let Them Think There's No Place You'd Rather Be

Today I'm kind of hyper feeling. I've been very talkative today and no I haven't had an caffine haha. So yeah, I've been singng along to great songs and just yeah jammin'. That'll all change once I start my pre-calc homework, it's not hard, I'm just in too good of a mood to do it.

It may be the whole watching both NFG dvds thing this weekend that has contributed to my good mood. Some how watching those always is fun and makes me feel gooood. It's the NFG drug I think...they get my endorphins going haha. Plus all the NFG interviews that happened to pop up this weekend too were pretty nifty even though they were your generic boring interview questions that have been heard a million times by now.

I made a Christmas 07' mix this past weekend, I burned it today after school. I tried to burn it yesterday but my burner was like running too fast haha so it errored out after 4 songs. But I fixed it and everything is copasetic. So yes, I have Christmas 05' mix and now 07'...last year was just blah haha. This year I'm too psyched about everything in general. I'm actually excited about things and that's a great feeling to have again.

And just for the record, No I don't have Senioritis yet....haha. I know a lot of people who do have it and I don't. Mostly because it's either too hot or too cold to sleep in class, and I don't know, I don't really have that much homework. Aside from term papers agh. I'm sooooo ready for college though so accept me already and graduate me and let's make it mid-August 08' already! ha. I'm actually excited about life time sports...because I'm hoping to play soccer and flag football.

Alright well that's all for me now kidz. I'm going to continue having fun atleast until my mom gets home then I'll make it look like I'm working hard at my math for awhile before I start writing some more.

Music Thingy
1. Open up the music player on your computer.
2. Set it to play your entire music collection.
3. Hit the shuffle command.
4. Tell us the title of the next 20 songs that show up (with their musicians), no matter how embarrassing. though honestly, if you liked the band enough to rip/download the music, you should not be embarrassed by it.
5. (optional) quote your favorite verse(s) from each one


1.Caroline Yes by The Kaiser Chiefs

2.Better Love by Steel Train

3.Don't Want to Stay by Rock Kills Kid

4.Tenth Street by Valencia

5.My Nine Rides Shotgun by Brand New

6.Catching and Killing by Youth Group

7.Hit Or Miss (Acoustic) by New Found Glory

8.Sowing Season (Yeah) by Brand New
"I am not your friend. I'm not your lover. I'm not your family."

9.Whiskey Rose by New Found Glory

10. The Great Houdini by New Found Glory
"Did You Notice Anything, that changes me? Is it safe to say, that I'll never be the same without you?"

11.Monday Morning by Prozzak

12.Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too by Say Anything
"If I Die and go to hell real soon, it will appear to me as this room"

13. La La Lie (Acoustic) by Jack's Mannequin

14. That Time by Regina Spektor
"Hey remember that time when we decided to kiss anywhere but the mouth?"

15. End of the Roady by Me First and the Gimmie Gimmies

16. The Moment I Said It by Imogen Heap

17. Heaven Isn't Too Far Away by New Found Glory

18. Fractions by Emery

19.How It Goes by Billy Talent

20.The Government Totally Sucks by Tenacious D

200.

So this is my 200th entry on this blog. Whoo go me. I'm slowly catching up to my GJ, which I pretty much don't use anymore. I just checked and I only posted 364 entries on there. So only a 165 to go to beat that record haha.

Anyways, I'm more than ready for this term to be over. I'm ready to get my ass into lifetime sports so I can start getting some exercise. I'm getting jiggle in places I don't want jiggle dammit. As of today, I'm going to try harder to watch what I eat haha, no more like 2 deserts after the same meal. Lmao. I need to bust out some DDR mostly because I want to play....because I haven't for awhile. But I'm really freakin' out of shape, another reason to start playing so I'm not dying in Lifetime Sports haha. It doesn't help that we ate like fried chicken and buffalo french fries for dinner. UGh. Plus Kool-Aid on top of it. Not good I know. Another reason to get into college, free gym access with student ID. Plus I just read today that exercise can be good for reducing my risk of certain disease and cancers. So yeah since sickly things run in my family, I should probably exercise ha! I'd go running but it's too damn cold out.

Plus Exercise gives you more energy. I loved that part about summer conditioning after the two weeks of feeling like you want to die because you hurt all over lmao. I like the feeling of energy you get, it has to be better than becoming a coffee mixed with hot chocolate drinker....haha, we had that yesterday. Major caffine rush. I'm not used to drinking caffine and whoa baby, I woke up in the middle of the night and my heart was pounding. So yeah, excersise looks like my best bet for well...a lot of things. I'm ready for warm weather! Ah but snow storm supposedly this weekend :(

I'm going to go....I don't know, be lazy and vegitate I guess....since the tv with the PS2 is occupado. Plus playing DDR after you eat...not such a good idea.

Do a Dizzy Dance

So, I just got done watching the last quarter of Da Bears Game. Haha, I live close enough to Chi-town to be able to say it like that. Psh. Only 3ish hours away, 1 hour driving to South Bend and another 2ish commuting in on the train. Anyways, wow haha we actually got into it while we were eating our tacos. But whatever, now everything is basically an hour behind on that channel, so that means the Amazing Race won't be on until almost 9...but atleast I'll still be able to watch Brothers & Sisters to see if Kitty goes through with marrying Senator McAllister (I forget his first name lmao)

So my lastfm stats are getting pretty random again. I predict more randomness filled with some Jimmy Eat World, definately re-falling in love with this band again. And...PlayRadioPlay! I don't know why but ever since I was listening to my mp3 player the night before Thanksgiving on shuffle and one of their songs popped up, I've been really digging their stuff. Which is good because I haven't really fully listened to it a lot yet and I've had their stuff for quite awhile now.

I've been having weird dreams about college and dorm life, it reminds me of the summers before freshmen and sophmore year when I had dreams about high school, see I was aloud to have 2 years of weird high school dreams because of the whole switching schools thing. Ah well I'm off to shower and wait for the Amazing Race to come on, enjoy your Mondays if that's at all possible after coming off a 4+ day break for some of you.