Something Left to Give...

So as I'm sitting here waiting for my brownies to cool I've just been listening to music and thinking about how this past week at work we've started doing book lists again and I happened to get the one that had to do with children and grieving. This threw me back to the story and really made me want to go back and re-read it yet again. I have to believe that it's some of my best work fiction wise. (I've written way better non fiction shiz for classes but it's not the same kind of animal.)

I guess that just goes to show that I'm still attached to those characters a little bit. Not as much as I used to be because I can't seem to continue on with it, but I still like to go back and remember. Just like to go back and re-read old blog entries to remember or try to bury things further in the past depending on the situation or time. I think re-reading blog entries especially is just one more way to know that things were real that they really did happen. I really did feel those things.

I've also noticed that my musical tastes have changed based on emotions/things that are going on in my life. Some songs that used to be on repeat are frankly depressing to me now. Or at least when I listen to them it in a way takes me back to what I was feeling when I played the shit out of them. Late nights with my good ole' Dell jukebox listening to music to block out everything else. I'm not who I used to be...I find myself no longer expecting the worse as often but thinking about the great things that the future may hold for me. I still hurt and ache but I try not to let myself have the time to sit around and dwell on that. My biggest challenge at the moment in my life is just finding enough hours in the day to do everything I want to do. Like re-reading things haha or watching dvds or listening to music or even reading other books.

But I'm also tired especially at the moment, so I am going to go check to see if my brownies are cool enough for foil and then get some sleep so I'm ready for what tomorrow has in store.