11 Days and Counting

Last night...not the greatest. Adam got online upset, and I really just wanted to be there for him in person, because so much more can be said and done in real life. I wish I had his will power and determination. He deserves a big giant hug, and I really can't wait to give it to him. Hopefully I'll be seeing him again very very very soon.

In response, I was thinking way too damn much before I went to sleep last night, so my stomach was a bit of a mess. But again got it under control and got myself to sleep. Seriously best way to loose weight...anxiety. No joke. I'm starting to swim in these pants again, like I did when I first got them.

Then this morning I get up take a shower, and my cousin wants to start shit with me. What the hell? Where did all of this come from? Is it let's beat up on Sarah day/week? Luckily it's not one of the cousins I'm going to hangout with tonight. I have no beef with Nick, we both have our own lives and we know that, but we still hangout. I sent her a message, back so we'll see what happens, I still haven't gotten a response back.

Will I ever have a New Years Eve that's truely enjoyable? I'm still waiting...tonight will be spent wishing I was with Adam. Even though I'll be surrounded by family, it still just won't be the same...because Adam knows me better than anyone else.