Fever Dreams, They Always Haunt You....

So I feel like crap and basically have all day. Woke up with some bad coughing/chest pain/rib pain gah. So sucks. Got a fever around 4th period. My God that classroom was extremely hot. Luckily I didn't have to do much thinking in that class, we drew pictures and took a really easy quiz.

After school we loaded up the car with Me, Erin, Michelle and Zak (who just happened to be wearing a kilt today...haha) and headed over to Concordia to pick up Haley. So of course I kept a lookout for people I knew...and I saw Josherz (I think it looks cooler with a "Z" but chances are I'll forget to do that ha) Didn't talk long, walked him to his car and part way back to the building. He had stuff to do. On the ride home, I was really feeling crappy. Listened to Michelle's Ipod. There were only a select few good songs on it to listen to. Eh.

Got home felt like I was going to pass out, fever was beginning to make me feel delirious. That's when I know my fever is getting bad when the delerium sets in. But I took some asprin. And that helped for now, I can feel it coming back and it's starting to hurt more again to breathe and such.

All I have left to say is that my AIM is freakin' broke and I don't feel up to messing around with my computer to fix it. Especially after the whole 2 day Java Fiasco. I got Chinese food tonight!!! YES! Oh and I got 2 discs of Season 3 of ER to watch this weekend from the Library. Man if anybody has discs 1-3 for Season 3 lemme borrow them?!? The Library's were stolen or something so they only have discs 4-6. :(. Alright kidz, I'm going to go lye down....and watch Las Vegas. ER watching will start tommorrow so I can just lounge around and rest up, hopefully I won't feel this shitty on Monday. If I do...I'm not going to school. Especially if I stil have this fever.

I Am Not Afraid to Keep on Livin'.

So somebody needs to hook Sarah up with the new Brand New song "Fork and Knife" because it's amazing and I need it on my computer yo! I've checked all the usual spots but have yet to find it. So....if anybody wants to drop me a link...I'll gladly share some tunes with you. I'm also waiting for I-Empire to be leaked in it's entirity. I have the promo-cd, and I suppose that'll have to hold me over until the whole album is out. Grr.

So instead of saying stuff that's life changing or mucho interesting I'm just going to leave you with really random things.

Locker Buddies are amazing. So are Wallet Chain Roledexes. (not Rolexes, those things people use on their desks to keep people's phone #'s and such.) We're making Pumpkin Cookies Tommorrow. No I don't want to check out the Black Stallion from the Library. I like arguing about Bottled Water Prices in Econ. We've concluded that Tardy Interventions suck, and so does our administration and Guidance department. I don't have any Pre-Calc homework, and that makes me happy.

Smile, Like You've Got Nothing to Prove.

Do you ever listen to a song and have this amazing story that goes along with the lyrics and music play out in your head? Don't you just wish that you had the resources and time to make that story into a music video? I do that all the time. It's almost like it'd be a more powerful tool in telling people how that song makes you feel and what that song reminds you of. Or maybe that's just the inner techie in me talking in wanting to express myself through making music videos for certain songs. Not that I want to do that as a career but I think it'd be cool to film/direct a music video.

You know what? I'm going to do that someday. I'll put that on the list of things to do sooner rather than later. I was just watching Oprah and they had these terminal cancer patients on who were two of the most positive and optimisitic people I've ever seen. I was amazed. It really made me think that I should just stop waiting around for my dreams to happen and just go out and do what I want to do. It's like they say, the biggest regrets in life aren't the things you do, it's the things you don't do. I know I'm definately regretting only one thing that I haven't done in my life. But there's still time to make that happen, I'm young, anything is possible.

Those amazing people also reminded me of a conversation that I had with a friend on Saturday. They were asking me how I was doing that day. I told them that well I was on the good part of the roller coaster ride known as life. We both agreed that we have far more bad days than good days. Why should it be like that? We're both young. We're 17 years old. Well me and that friend anyways, I know that many of you are either younger or older than me. Anyways, shouldn't we all be out having more fun and enjoying life? Doing things that make ourselves happy? Yes I know that many of you work. But life is short and we're going to spend the majority of our lives working, why let work rule our lives? Let's go outside, and run around like little kids. Scream at the top of our lungs. Sing our hearts out when we hear our favorite songs. Don't dwell on the things bringing us down. We all need to learn to move on and let go of those things that do drag us down.

I'm working on it. Sometimes it's harder to do than other times, but I think I'm getting better at it. I've learnt to accept things they way they are, and people for who they are. As long as someone is happy with themselves and where they're at in life, who am I to say that they're doing something wrong? People are people, if you want to talk with me....hit me up. I'm game. Want to go play some box ball and relive elementry school recess? Sure...lets do it. You don't have to have money or go somewhere special to have fun and create memories. Things are just material. They won't always be there. They won't make you happy. People are the ones who care. People can make you happy. People make memories.

I don't know about you guys, but I told my mom today that I'm not ready to die yet, I still have so much living and learning left to do. So let's just all Learn to Live....

So It's Still Like 5 Months Away But....

I'm really thinking that for my 18th birthday it would be awesome to get a group of friends and head down to Daleville or Anderson to go to White Castle. You know considering most of them have never even had it...and are sick of me babbling about it. If the van was running, I'd totally use it and just call people up and say hey I'm taking a van load of people to Daleville lets go! But I know my Dad would want to go haha. But maybe they wouldn't have to know...it'd just be hey I'm going to hangout with my friends today...especially since my Birthday is the first Monday of Spring Break!?! Yes!

Yes...I'm going to throw the idea out there to some of my friends see if they're down. Who knows maybe the van will be driveable by then (not likeley but one can hope) Not that anyone would want to ride with me lmao.

I guess what brought this on was a thread on The-N. A girl was asking for ideas for a sweet 16 party. And I know that a lot o of my friends have had parties for the 18th's and or planning ones. Nothing extravagant just getting people together, having food and a good time. I don't know we'll see. At the very least take me out to the Mandrin for Chinese and I'll love you forever.

P.S. I'm really digging music today...I seriously have this new found love for it. I can't stop listening. Gah! I hate when I get bored with music, but luckily today isn't one of those days.

Check It Out.



So this album is pretty freakin' amazing and I haven't even listened to it all the way through. Let the impressive guest vocals list speak for itself.

Skinny, Mean Man Pete Yorn (Vocals)
No Soul Anna Waronker (Vocals) , DJ Swamp (Being a DJ)
Surgicallly Removing the Tracking Device Adam Lazarra (Vocals) Fred Mascherino (Vocals)
This is Fucking Ecstasy Anthony Raneri (Vocals)
The Church Channel Haylie Williams (Vocals)
Shiksa (Girlfriend) Caithlin De Marrais (Vocals)
Retarded in Love Chris Carrabba (Vocals), Michael Auerbach (Vocals), “Spacey” Casey Prestwood (Pedal Steel)
People Like You Are Why People Like Me Exist Trevor Keith (Vocals)
Sorry, Dudes. My Bad. Chris Conley (Vocals)
In Defense of the Genre Gerard Way (Vocals)
The Truth Is, You Should Lie With Me Joshua Sultan (Vocals)
About Falling Matt Skiba (Vocals), Laura Kirsch (Vocals)
You’re the Wanker, If Anyone Is Jordan Pundik (Vocals) Chad Gilbert (Vocals) Aaron Gillespie (Vocals)
We Killed It Andy Jackson (Vocals)
Hangover Song Anthony Green (Vocals)
Plea Kenny Vassoli (Vocals), Haylie Williams (Vocals)

No Soul contains a portion of the composition “Juicy Fruit,” written by James Mtume, published by Mtume Music (BMI)
Insult to the Dead features additional arrangement by Joshua Sultan
Plea features a portion of the composition “Rocks Tonic Juice Magic” written by Chris Conley, published by Cottleston Pie (SESAC)

I'm Incredibly Cheesey.

So...I'm not ashamed to admit that I just listened to a Blink than an NFG song...because that's pretty much the essence of me...but now I'm listening to a Brittney Spears cover song...just a little embarassng. Atleast it's kind of funny because the singer kind of makes me think of Mario or Lugi...haha you know the video game dudes? It's like this cartoon-y italian accent thing going and yeah haha. And the pop-punkness continues with Sum 41, don't worry I won't sit here and type out my playlist for the next half hour lmao.

Anyways I should be studying for Government...but nah. I don't have any other homework to do in that class tommorrow so I'll probably study for my final in there that's on Thursday. All depending on how awake I am of course.

So....Foods class is amazing and Chelsea is taking the stupid PSAT tommorrow and yeah that sucks cuz we'll miss her! I really wish I would've taken that test though haha maybe my SAT scores would've been better.

Ok...well I'll leave you with this; Go pick up Jimmy Eat World's new album Chase the Light. I haven't listened to it a lot yet but I am planning on it.

Not Because I Idolize Him or Anything...But..




So...it's his Birthday and I actually remembered so that deserves a picture posting.

Us Midwest Kids...

So why is that I turn on the 5 o' clock news and the first 4 stories are all related to bomb threats and school shootings?

So apparently there was a bomb threat today at New Haven High School which is like 10 minutes from my house. The school went on lock down and stuff. Then the next story is about this kid who's threatening to bring guns to Elmhurst (on the otherside of town but still...) The school knows about it....and apparently talked to the kid but besides that has done nothing and plans to do nothing. Makes you feel really good about what your school system does for ya. Whoo FWCS ha. Anyways the 3rd story was about the Clevland school shooting and the last one was about this homeschooled kid who was planning to pull a Columbine at a nearby high school in Pennsylvannia(sp?).

Are we all that angry that we feel the need to go shoot up schools and make threats? Are we all stupid enough to streak in flesh colored thongs/penis costumes at a football game as Sophmores and get arrested/expelled?

Plus...we had a lockdown drill today. Big Whoop. It's gotten to the point that they're so routine that the teachers don't even take them seriously. We sat there and did math problems through the whole drill. Whatever....Only what 4-5ish more years of school...and only like 3/4's of a school year left in High School. I have noticed that the violence has gotten worse since I've been in school, more fights and such. But there's not really much I personally can do about it...so you just kind of cope and accept that stuff as a part of every day life.

The BSU Trip

So I went down to Ball State today, to see the campus ect. Nice place, and I'm really thinking I want to go there so I got an application and am going to fill that out this week and get some letters of reccomendation from Crowley and whoever else haha.

The only thing that was kinda eh was the extreme tiny-ness of the dorm rooms or atleast the ones in the building we were in. But they said that I could probably get placed in the T-Com, dorms and they're a bit bigger room size wise...and they don't have bunk beds. Dunno if I like the idea of sharing bunk beds with someone I don't know all that well.

I think I'll get fat if I eat 3 meals a day there...lmao. They have like Chik Fil'a and stuff....plus buffets and stuff. I guess I'd just have to make use of the free access to the gym and stuff. haha Well honestly that should probably be the least of my worries. You know actually worry about getting in, scholarships, oh and you academics...especially me passing Spanish III this spring. I think since a T-Com major needs 4 semesters of a language I'm going to work my ass off this Spring studying for Spanish so I'll have a leg up when I take it in College because I really don't like the idea of starting a whole new language in college.

Anyway...more about BSU later. I HAVE to start writing my Political Philosophy paper TONIGHT. Even though I'm tired and don't want to. I won't be home tommmorrow night so I gotta get it hammered out. Plus it only has to be 4-5 pgs...our tour guide said she had a 101 page paper she wrote...My jaw wanted to drop to the floor lmao. So later kidz.

Quickie!

Ok so a quick blog before the Top Chef Season Finale. I've finally figured out how I'm going to write my Political Philosophy paper. It all came to me while taking a shower haha. Psh I do a lot of thinking in there sometimes. Anyways I may start it tommorrow in Crowley's class if I'm super bored. But yeah, I think it's going to be amazing now and I actually can't wait to write it.

So yeah, I think all this writing activity was sparked by the fact that my journal response in English was totally awful and selfish in nature. We had to write about what our personal paradise would be like if we could have one and I wrote about the first things that came to mind which were material things, not even thinking about people's feelings or stuff like that. Then the teacher is like...well let's read some out loud. He starts reading them and people are like deep and shit....and I'm going oh God...don't pick mine....I'm a horrible selfish materialistic shallow person and my paper sucks. Thankfully he didn't pick mine to read. Phew. Anyways then I came home and worked on the story. FINALLY! After about 2 months of not working on it, I added almost a full sheet of notebook paper. Whoo! Go Me!

Ok...so I'm already dressed for school...it's PJ day...haha. I literally roll out of bed throw on some shoes and am on my way. Plus we're eating our Quiche tommorrow Yummerz.

P.S. Lots of BOY DRAMA is going down and not all of it involving me and the boys I fancy. (British enough for ya? haha)

Dammit.

Tom DeLonge why did you have to write a song that makes me want to cry? This song makes me angry/sad/jealous....god so many things. "Breathe" by Angels & Airwaves check it out.

Ok...so here's my on going dilema. I like this guy well actually I like two guys. But I like one way more than the other one. Mostly because I know the other guy better and have known him longer. Anyways...here's the problem, I know the guy I like more is interested in another girl and that is just freakin' killing me....and makes me mucho jealous. Gah. But I think the other guy may like me and this other girl who I happen to be kinda friends with. Plus I think he'd probably pick over her because I made fun of him for liking the Fray...lmao. I guess I should give up on the first boy but I can't...I've been trying to for the longest freakin' time and I just can't. But on the other side of things...I guess I shouldn't loose all hope on the 2nd one.....I can't see being in a lasting relationship with him but...it could be fun.

Gotta go do English and Pre-Calc. Later kids.

Fuck It.

I don't even know why I bother.