Hi.

Anybody want to buy a volvo? I'm sick of having a car already. Everybody has expectations from me now. I hate driving now. I hate work. I hate my brain. I hate my stomach. I hate that all I do is have people unhappy with me. I hate that I'm the party pooper. I hate my body. I hate that nobody gets it. But oh well no one ever has. I just want things to go back to the way they were. Before this dumb car came into my life. I just want my old life back where everybody was happy or at least more happy than they are now.

I'm starting to think I don't deserve happiness. It's just my job to try to make people happy but I'm starting to think more and more that I don't matter. As long as others are happy I won't be miserable and I guess not being miserable is an ok settlement between happy and miserable. If I'm upset oh well...the world doesn't care. I get it. It's my problem I'm upset...I do it to myself.