"Just getting up for the let down"

Story of my life....and I'll leave it at that for tonight.

This is going to be a quick one I promise. Ha a quickie blog....funny? Eh...maybe not.

There's a person out there who completes you, or me for that matter. Only you know who they are and how they complete you. That person may know but then again they may not. It may be a friend, or a boyfriend/girlfriend, or a relative ect... They make you feel like your on top of the world and your day just doesn't feel the same if you don't have some kind of contact with them.
Wether that be talking on the phone, or Iming them, or even seeing them in person.

If you don't have some kind of contact with them, you wonder about them, what they're doing. Who they're with. Maybe not that far but you sort of just wonder, you know?

That person can put a smile on your face without even trying. They can brighten up the worst day. You find yourself talking about that person more than you realize. You find your self thinking about that person more than you realize. Sometimes, you even dream about that person. You realize that that person has become a part of your life. A part of your life that you never want to loose or let go of.

Who's that person? I'll never tell. Well maybe....just not today.

I know, I know another it's my 2nd blog today but I thought of something I wanted to blog about while playing Turbo 21 and listening to "Samson" by Regina Spektor, which by the way is an amazing song that you should go listen to!

Anyways I started thinking about people and things that people have done or said to me. I thought back to this one day this past school year. It was one of the last days of school and a guy in my first period class asked me what it'd take to make me cry because he really wanted to see me cry. Erin had bought me a butterfinger that morning to repay me for loaning her a dollar or so the week before. He asked me if breaking that would make me cry. I told him no. I know it seems like something stupid but that moment where he asked me that just keeps popping up in my head over and over again.

Why would anyone want to see someone cry? How wrong is that? How insensitive can you be? Wanting someone to cry...that probably would've made someone really defensive and that kind of person would've probably gone off on that guy. Not me. I just stood there and ignored it like it was no big deal. But it's not just no big deal. Sure it's not a huge deal, but it is a deal. It obviously affected me because otherwise I wouldn't still be dwelling on it.

It did hurt a little I guess. Does that mean I'm too happy? How can a person be too happy? Little did he know..that was just a front. He doesn't/didn't know the real me. Me, completely happy, ha! I'm good at acting happy. I'm good at acting like nothing is wrong. I'm good at covering up what I'm really feeling.

Crying is a form of expression. Sure I cry. Just not constantly. I don't want people to sit around and feel sorry for me. There's more to life then having pity parties for yourself all the time. Everybody feels sorry for themselves at one point in time. Fine, good for you. Move on you're not the only one hurting.

I suppose I'm going about all of this in the wrong way though. Ah oh well this is just my take on it. All you future psychiatrists go ahead work your shrink magic on me. I guess what I'm getting at is that you should really think before you say something like that to someone because you don't know their story. You don't know what they're going through or have been through. You don't know how what you say really affects that person. For all you know what you say could mean life or death for them.

Choose your words wisely. And yes, sometimes actions do speak much much louder than words don't be afraid to show affection, or do a good deed. You'll be greatly appreciated even if you're not directly thanked. But chances are if you do something good for someone they'll remember that and that'll motivate them to do something good too. Just like that commercial on T.V. right now. I like that commercial. It shows that we can help anyone....in a simple way and people can return the favor.

I feel like I'm preaching right now and the last thing I want to do is come off as preachy. I just want my opinion out there and clearly stated.

Yet again another blog to pass the time. But seriously what more can I possibly write about? I right about what's going on with me in my greatestjournal....I post occasionally on myspace and on livejournal. But I guess I just needed one more. To try and do something different. Write about some other things. Nothing huge or life changing. Just something little.

Maybe I'll be really random and write about clouds or grass or the old lady across the street. That could actually be pretty interesting. I guess I just like writing even if I do feel stupid about what I wrote afterwards.

That's what life is about though, right?? Making stupid mistakes and learning from them. Plus you only get chance to live life so you might as well not hold anything back from anyone. You'll end up regretting it and regrets SUCK. My theory is have fun, live it up. I don't have time to sit around and feel sorry for myself. Suck it up and move on. Moving on can be the hard part though. It's easy to suck it up....but not so easy to move on. There's always something nagging at you in the back of your mind that wills you to hold onto to whatever is bothering you. Sometimes the human mind just sucks.